Hidden Scars
by MeganG45
Summary: Buffy is a new high school student in Sunnydale. She is dealing with some emotional problems and Spike may be the only one who can help her. All human. Possible eventual Spuffy. R&R please!
1. The trip

**Title: **Hidden Secrets

**Summary:** AU Joyce, Buffy and Dawn move to California to escape their past. They won't tell anyone their secret. The scoobies and Spike come in later. All human.

_This is my very first fanfiction story and constructive criticism appreciated!_

_**Please read and review!**_

**!!! I re-did the first three chapters. Please re-read if you haven't already seen the changes !!!**

* * *

Buffy Summers stared at a modest yellow house from the driveway as a silent tear glided down her cheek. Her mother, Joyce and 12 year old sister, Dawn, stood inches away. Joyce finished putting the remaining boxes and suitcases in the trunk of a beat up red Honda Civic.

Joyce gently shut the trunk door and rubbed her aging hands together. "Well, this is it. Do you have everything?"

Dawn nodded her head while Buffy stood stiffly with her arms folded across her chest. She glared at her mother from the corner of her eye. "Why are we doing this again?"

Joyce sighed and gave her a stern look. "I'm not going over this with you again, Buffy. I am the parent, you are the child. Until you're 18 you are going along with everything I decide is best for this family."

Buffy scoffed. "No, not what's best for this family. What's best for you! You think it's healthy to drag us around the country? Moving from State to State…always starting a new life. Constantly in a new town. People ask me where I live and I honestly can't even remember the address!"

Joyce slammed her hand on the trunk of the red 1993 Honda Civic. Buffy jumped while Dawn stared at her mother in shock.

"Get in the car Dawn." Dawn slowly nodded her head and crawled into the backseat.

Joyce focused her attention on Buffy. "I am tired of the over dramatization. Two more years, Buffy. That's it. You'll be 18 and free to live in one small, simple town for the rest of your life. Until then, get your boney butt in the front seat."

Buffy didn't say another word as she slid into the passenger seat and unwillingly prepared herself for another long car trip to another strange town.

By one o'clock in the morning Joyce grew tired of driving and decided to stop at the nearest motel.

Buffy opened her eyes and looked around.

"Where are we?" She asked sheepishly.

"Colorado."

She looked toward the backseat and saw Dawn sound asleep. Her head rested against the cold window and a slight purring sound escaped her partially open lips. Buffy extended her arm lightly shook Dawn.

"Dawn, wake up."

Dawn moaned and opened her eyes but quickly shut them and drifted back to sleep. Buffy sighed and attempted to wake her again. Joyce stepped out of the car and opened the backseat door.

"Dawn, honey. Come on. We're at a motel."

As soon as Joyce opened the door to the motel room Buffy and Dawn walked over to the first bed and collapsed on it and immediately fell asleep.

Joyce headed toward the bathroom to freshen up before going to bed. She stared at the reflection in the mirror and couldn't believe how many years of her life she wasted. Days, months and years blended together and passed too quickly. She could've sworn it was only yesterday when she brought Dawn home from the hospital and little Buffy sat in the corner sulking because she believed her parents replaced her with a baby. Joyce would give anything to take back the years and relive it all, she would fix the heartbreaks and wounds that turned her would completely upside down.

She lifted up her shirt to reveal a large dark bruise across her back and neck. A few more bruises scattered around her upper arm.

"Never again." She whispered to her reflection.

* * *

Joyce tried unsuccessfully to sleep. She rolled over and kicked the blanket off of her in frustration. She hated nights. Bedtime was the worst part of her day. She'd often stare at the alarm clock as time crept by. No matter how tired she was, she could never convince herself to drift to sleep. Instead, she counted down the hours and minutes until she had to get up for work. The only nights when she had actually been able been to sleep were when she was completely exhausted from a busy day. Although her eyes grew heavy and her body craved sleep, she was fully awake. She'd never admit it but sleepless nights gave her slight comfort. They were the few times when he wasn't able to interrupt her dreams. He was always there. Lurking underneath her sleepy eyes. Waiting for her. He will never left her go. She is no longer safe. No matter where she ran to or how fast her legs moved, he would be there. Waiting. Wanting revenge. Her only inspiration for her willingness to live is lying on the bed beside hers. Her girls: beautiful and outspoken Buffy; bubbly and talkative Dawn. She would've given up long ago if it weren't for her children. She was ready to die until the image of her little girls flashed in her mind.

Joyce managed to get 40 minutes of sleep before it was time to check out of the motel. The girls awoke, fully rested and ready to take on another day.

"I call shotgun!" Dawn said as she ran passed Buffy to the car.

"I don't think so! You're the youngest and smallest. You get the backseat."

"Mom!" Dawn whined. "It's my turn up front! Buffy got to ride all the way here."

Buffy rolled her eyes and lightly shoved her sister. "Stop being such a brat! You're so immature, grow up!"

Dawn shoved her back. "You grow up! You're almost an adult. You shouldn't even be here. Go get a job."

"Hey!" Joyce shouted loud enough to wake all of the guests. "Enough! You –" She pointed at Buffy. "Backseat. And you –" She pointed at Dawn. "Up front."

Dawn smirked while Buffy groaned. "What? That's not fair! I'm older."

Dawn laughed, "Physically…not mentally."

"Shut up!" Buffy fired back.

"Stop it!" Joyce stepped in between her daughters. "Can you act civilized for two minutes? Buffy, you sat up front on the way here. You can take turns. Now, get in the car and I don't want to hear another word."

Dawn stuck her tongue out at Buffy and smugly rested into the front seat. Buffy angrily slid into the backseat and jammed her knee into the back of the front passenger seat.

Dawn gasped. "Stop it, you bi…" She caught herself as Joyce opened the door and stuck the key in the ignition. "Hi mommy."

* * *

By 9pm they arrived in Utah and pulled into a gas station.

Dawn tapped her mother on the arm before she was able to get out of the car. "Hey, mom. Can we get some drinks and a couple snacks? I'm starving."

"You're hungry already? We just ate 2 hours ago."

"Hey, I'm a growing woman!"

"Yeah, I'm hungry too." Buffy chimed in.

Joyce opened her purse and pulled out 10 dollars. "You girls eat like a bunch of teenage boys. I'm surprised you're so tiny!"

Buffy smiled. "We get our fabulous looking bodies from our wonderful genes."

Joyce smiled back, "Aw, there's my sweet girl."

"Yeah, you'll have to thank dad for us."

Joyce playfully tapped Buffy's hand. "Ha ha. You're hilarious."

Dawn yanked the 10 dollars from her mom's hands and jumped out of the car. "Come on, Buffy!"

Buffy and Dawn hopped along side each other as Joyce filled the gas tank. The wonderful thing about Buffy and Dawn's arguments is that it never lasts long. One minute they're threatening to kill each other and the next they're giggly maniacally and brushing each other's hair. They had a typical sibling love-hate relationship. They often picked on each other but became defensive and protective of one another when someone else dared to insult them.

Buffy grabbed a small box of slim jims and a two littler bottle of root beer while Dawn headed straight for the chips and grabbed two small bags and a mountain dew.

Dawn nudged her sister in the rib after glancing at a guy smoking outside. He just stood there. Glaring at the girls through the window. It was quite apparent he was looking at them and only them.

"What the hell, Dawn?"

Dawn pointed at the man standing outside the window. "That guy is checking us out. Creepy psycho."

"Do you think it's wise to openly stare and point at him? We're at a gas station! Do you have any idea how many times these places get robbed?"

"Please. He's probably just checking out the teen girls. I can see 'sex offender' written all over his face."

"Well, that's a great reason to piss him off!"

"Wanna go talk to him?"

Buffy gave her sister the 'are you crazy' look. "Dude, you don't need that mountain dew. You're weird enough as it is. You don't need anything to fuel it."

Dawn blew a kiss at her sister and giggled. "I'm so excited! Aren't you?"

"You need help."

"Oh, come on! We're just a day away from walking into our brand new house! A new town…a brand new life. I think I'm gonna tell everyone my name is Berta and my parents are CIA agents and the entire town is secretly in trouble. And you're not really my sister…you're the psychic lady helping us solve the mystery."

"How do you come up with this stuff?"

"Honey, we just spent 10 hours in a car…doing nothing. Staring at the trees. A girl has to think about something to keep her mind occupied! Besides, no one would know if it were actually true. We move like every 4 months."

"Don't remind me. Don't you get stick of it?"

Dawn shrugged. "Eh. At least we get to see the country and meet a bunch of new people."

"Whoopie."

The girls paid for their items and joined Joyce in the car for another long drive to another crappy motel.

* * *

A day passed and the three women were just hours away from their new residence. Dawn was anticipated with excitement. She loved traveling and being surrounded by new people. She craved adventure and mystery. She often made up bizarre stories in her head about secret missions and convinced herself that she would have her own mystery to solve one day.

Buffy on the other hand was the complete opposite. She always dreamt of living in one town and having the same friends. She wanted to live in the same town she was born until the day she dies. She had traditional dreams and goals. Go to college, meet a wonderful man, fall in love, have children and grow old. That's all she wanted out of life. Unlike her sister, she is a lot less open about her true feelings and often wears a figurative mask in public. She's outspoken about public discussions and has very strong and firm opinions. But when it comes to anything personal, she builds large steel walls around her. She has her secrets. Secrets she plans on keeping buried until the end of time.

Joyce is similar to Buffy. They both hide their emotional problems and put on a façade around others. But she doesn't have the strength that Buffy has or that passion that Dawn has. For that, she admires her daughters. They inspire her. She's made many mistakes and her daughters paid for it. However, instead of running away like a scared little girl, she has decided to make it right. She wants to protect them from everything evil and only way she can accomplish that is by moving every time she receives new of a certain man getting close to tracking her down.

The countdown ended. They finally arrived in Sunnydale. A small California town. Joyce had her old friend, Giles, set everything up. He got the house ready for her and her daughters. He even managed to get Joyce a great job.

Dawn sat straight up and eagerly waited for her mother to pull into a driveway. "So, which one is ours?"

"I don't know. Look for Rivelo Drive." Joyce replied.

Buffy and Dawn read each street sign they saw and within a couple of minutes they finally found it.

"Oh! Right there!" Dawn squealed excitedly.

"Great. Okay, guys, you ready to finally unpack these bags and move into our new house?"

Dawn could barely remain seated. "Yes!"

"The house number is 1630. Do you see it?"

Buffy was the first to spot it. "Yeah. It's right there."

Joyce smiled. "Home sweet home!"

Dawn chuckled. "Wow, it's a lot bigger than the last one! Can I pick my room?"

"Why don't you and your sister look together and decide who gets which room. And that's not including the master bedroom! That's momma's room."

As soon as Joyce pulled in the driveway, Dawn threw the door open and bounced out. Joyce was quick to follow and Buffy took her sweet time. She was in no hurry. She knew she'd only be here for a few months. Why even leave the car? Why not wait until it's time to go again?

"Any final words before we make our grand entrance?" Joyce asked as she and Dawn stood outside the front door.

"Yeah. Move outta my way, woman! I wanna go in!"

"Hang on, hang on. Wait for your sister."

"Buffy!" Dawn screamed across the yard. "Get over here, chica!"

Buffy slowly approached her mother and sister. She took her time and it irritated Dawn.

"Today, please! Some of us would actually like to step inside the house we've been driving to for two days!"

The moment Buffy took her final step toward the front door Joyce unlocked the door and pushed it wide open.

"You smell that girls? It smells like a fresh start." Joyce said as she breathed deeply.

Buffy wrinkled her nose. "It smells like dust and dirt. When was the last time someone stepped in this place?"

Joyce patted her eldest daughter on the back. "It'll be fine. It's just that no one has lived here since the murders."

Dawn nervously looked at her mother. "Murders?"

Joyce sighed. "Yeah, poor family. They all died in this very house. In fact, rumor has it that you can hear a little girl screaming in the upstairs hallway late at night."

"That is so….awesome!" Dawn beamed. "I've always wanted to go to a haunted house!"

"No one died here Dawn. She's just messing with us." Buffy said.

"Of course I am. That story isn't real." Joyce said before winking at Dawn.

"Who is the friend that helped us out with this house, mom?" Dawn asked while examining the living room.

"Oh, just an old friend from college. He's from England."

"Does he still have the accent?"

"He sure does."

Dawn smiled. "That's so sexy."

"When did you start saying sexy?" Joyce asked. "You're 12 years old!"

"Mom, come on. Get with the times. It's not the 50's anymore! Kids say a lot these days. I even know how babies are made!"

"Oh, so you know about that site orderababy?" Buffy asked.

"Eh?" Dawn replied.

"You said you knew how babies are made. You get to check all of your preferences, hair color, eye color…that kinda stuff. Then you choose the gender and boom! You just ordered your very own baby!"

"Hey, that might be how you wanna have children but I'm totally doing the old fashioned S-E-X!"

"Dawn!" Joyce said shocked. "Are you having sex?"

"No, mom! Not until I'm 14!"

Joyce's mouth dropped open. "I…"

Dawn laughed. "Ma, I'm kidding! Relax."

Joyce still didn't feel relieved. "You better be kidding. Buffy, we need to keep an eye on this one."

"What makes you think Buffy's not having sex?" Dawn asked.

"Because she'd be dead by now! No sex until you're married or 30 years old…which ever comes first." Joyce replied.

The subject began to severely affect Buffy and she grew extremely uncomfortable.

"Uh…can we pick our rooms now?" Buffy asked as a diversion.

"Ohh! Yeah! I'll race ya!" Dawn said before running toward the stairs.

The girls picked out their own rooms. It only took two hours for them to agree. The final decision was made when Buffy promised to let Dawn have the bigger room the next time they move. She agreed, of course, knowing that they wouldn't last very long in this house.

Joyce had the master bedroom, Buffy had the second biggest room and Dawn got the smallest room.


	2. Sunnydale

**Warning:** This chapter contains a description of rape.

* * *

Joyce soaked in the tub and took a nice long bubble bath. Dawn unpacked her clothes and then hooked up her TV and DVD player so she could watch a movie. Buffy kneeled on the beige carpet and browsed through her clothes in the suitcase. One by one she hung her shirts in the closest and folded her jeans then placed them in the dresser. She was almost done when she picked up a light blue t-shirt with Costa Rica written across it. She fingered the collar and closed her eyes tight as the memories rushed back to her.

**FLASHBACK**

_Buffy wore a light blue t-shirt that read Costa Rica with a pair of faded blue denim jeans on. She lied flat on her stomach, facing the foot of the bed and her legs rested on top of her pillows while reading a novel. A light knock on her bedroom door interrupted her story and her head snapped toward the door. Her heart began racing. The doorknob turned and she became breathless. The door swung open and a dark figure entered her room and slammed the door shut._

**END FLASHBACK**

Buffy quickly opened her eyes and shook her head. She threw the shirt down and let out a soft sob. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and stood up. She walked over to the window, folded her arms across her chest and leaned her head against the wall and whispered, "It's over."

* * *

The next morning Buffy woke up to an unfamiliar room and lifted herself off of the bed as she looked around. She finally remembered this was her new home. She groaned and forced herself downstairs into the kitchen where Dawn and Joyce were cooking eggs, bacon and toast.

"Well, look who decided to join us." Joyce smiled at Buffy. "Did you sleep well?"

Buffy nodded her head and lied. "Yeah."

Joyce placed a plate in front of Buffy and poured her a glass of orange juice. "Eat up. We have to leave soon to register you girls for school and then we can go shopping for school supplies and maybe some new clothes."

"Okay." Both girls spoke in unison.

As soon as they were finished eating they headed outside and got into the car. Dawn sat in the passengers seat and Buffy sat in the back. She didn't even bother arguing with Dawn about who gets the front seat like usual.

Joyce pulled into the middle school. "Alright. This school is for Dawn." Joyce looked at

Dawn. "Let's get you registered." Dawn sighed.

"Can't we just forget about school or wait a few more weeks? I don't feel like going back to school so soon." Dawn pouted and Buffy rolled her eyes.

After Dawn was registered Joyce drove to the high school.

"Okay, Buff. Your turn."

Buffy didn't say anything as she opened the car door and stepped outside. Joyce and Dawn stepped out of the car at the same time. They wrapped their arms around each other as they headed toward the front door to the school. Buffy blushed from embarrassment and tried to keep some distance between them and her. Once again, Buffy walked slowly.

Why would anyone be in a hurry to start going back to school? Especially if it was the 3rd school they've been to this year.

It was 2PM on Tuesday so Buffy knew there would be students in the school, still in class just like at Dawn's school. They gave Dawn the option of starting on Wednesday but she declined and said she wanted to wait a day or two. Buffy decided she'd start school on Thursday also if they gave her the same option.

They walked through the entrance and headed to the main office. No one was in the hallway except a few students with passes in their hands. They walked into the main office and were greeted by a woman who looked to be in her mid-forties.

After Buffy picked her classes she heard a bell ring and loud noise filled the hallways. The woman smiled at her. "School starts at 7:10am and ends at 2:25pm." Buffy stared at the white clock hanging on the wall and blocked out her voice as she explained the schedule.

Joyce, Buffy and Dawn left the office and passed a few students on their way out. Just as Buffy was about to walk through the doors to exit the school a short red headed girl with a tall dark haired guy at her side bumped into her.

"Oh, sorry about that. Are you okay?" The smart looking red head asked Buffy.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Buffy replied.

The girl smiled at her and left with the guy still by her side. The guy took one last look at her and whispered, "She's cute."

Buffy blushed once more and walked outside to join her mother and sister.

"What look you so long?"

"Sorry. Someone ran into me."

* * *

Later that night Buffy jumped into the shower. As the water poured down on her the same memory reappeared in her head.

**FLASHBACK:**

_The figure stepped into her room after slamming the door shut and then approached Buffy. She laid completely still, eyes sealed shut and prayed he would disappear. She decided to be brave and take a peek. He was still there. Staring. Watching. He took a long stride toward the bed. Her heart went out of control. She could hear the thumping in her ears. She prayed silently, over and over again. Suddenly she felt rough, dry hands wrap around her slender arm and she was yanked to her feet. _

**END FLASHBACK**

Buffy tried to shake the memory away. "No. Stop it. I don't want to remember. Stop"

**FLASHBACK:**

_Buffy was thrown into a wall and she cracked her head. The figure lunched at her and threw her to the ground. He straddled her and held her arms above her head. She struggled but he wouldn't release her. The heavy weight of his body crushed her. Her chest felt like it was going to collapse at any moment. _

**END FLASHBACK**

Buffy dropped to the bottom of the tub and started to cry. She hugged her knees against her body and tried to reassure herself that he was gone. "He's not here. He's not here. No!"

**FLASHBACK:**

_He ripped the collar of her shirt and reached between her legs. She screamed but his huge hands covered her mouth and the only sound that escaped was muffled. He tried unbuttoning her jeans but she kicked him and managed to crawl away. She edged closer and closer to the bedroom door. She was almost there. She extended her arm out. Reaching for the door. Just a little farther. But he came after her. He grabbed her leg and pulled her away. He threw her back on the ground and she fought as hard as she could. She scratched and pulled his arm. She bit his fingers. She pleaded. And pleaded. Until her voice was completely gone. Until her innocence was stolen. _

**END FLASHBACK**

Tears streamed down her face. Her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks were burning. "No! No! No!" She couldn't take it anymore. She reached up to grab her razor and brought it to her wrist.


	3. Cutting

****

Thank you reviewers! Please keep reviewing and let me know what you think about the story. I'd love to hear your opinion, whether it's positive or negative.

* * *

Buffy held the razor blade above her wrist with the intention of ending her entire life. The memories, the abuse, it had to end. It's the only way she would be free. She started shaking and breathing heavily as the water poured on her and dripped down her chin. Her chest heaved in and out and she closed her eyes and tensed up. This was it. This is how it has to end. She slowly brought the razor closer and closer to her wrist. The cold metallic blade brushed against her smooth skin and she attempted to slash her wrists. She slowly scratched the surface of her wrist and began to sob uncontrollably. She couldn't do it. The water turned freezing and she sat in the middle of the tub, she couldn't move nor think. All she could do was cry and cry and cry. She clutched the blade tightly, which caused her to accidentally cut her hand and gasp in shock. It took an accident slice of the hand for her to snap back to reality. She released the blade and watched as it fell by her feet. The water falling from the showerhead surrounded the bladed until it gained enough force to push it and floated to the edge of the drain. Buffy widened her eyes as lifted her injured hand within mere inches away from her head. The blood seeped from the wound and she grew fascinated. In that moment, the pain and all of the awful memories disappeared. It was the first time in weeks her mind wasn't occupied by a negative thought or feeling.

Almost in a trance she picked up the razor blade that was half way dangling over the side of the drain and placed it on her lower underarm and gently slid it across her skin. The cut was shallow, definitely not deep enough to leave a scar. Tiny beads of blood trickled down her arm and she was left in amazement. No more pain. Oddly enough, inflicting pain on her caused everything else to stop hurting. No more bad emotions. Just the feeling of being alive. Real.

Then reality stuck as quickly as it left. Her eyes bugged out of her head and she grasped her arm before throwing the razor away from her. Tears mixed in with the water and fell freely down her face. For the first time, she realized how cold the water had gotten. Her lips were nearly purple and she was shivering. She felt like she stuck in the middle of a frozen pond, naked. She turned shower off and stepped out of the tub, leaving a trail of water behind her. She grabbed a big, thick towel and wrapped it around her frail body and stood in front of the mirror. The girl looking back at her wasn't her. She wasn't that scared, helpless little girl that couldn't control her actions. What happened to her? She used to be so strong. So capable. And now she was reduced into this. Did she completely lose her mind? Was she becoming insane? Never, not even in her wildest dreams, has she done this to herself. She had heard about teenagers her age cutting themselves but she never felt sorry for them. She thought they were weird. She didn't realize how difficult life must've been for them in order to resort to this. But is this what she was now? A self-mutilator?

After evaluating herself in the mirror she opened up the medicine cabinet and took out the gauze to wrap around her hand since it was pretty obvious it was cut.

She snuck back into her bedroom and dressed in a pair of gray baggy sweat pants and white long sleeved shirt. A light knock on the door caused her to jump and immediately she remembered the last time she her a knock like that on her door. The door slowly pushed open and Buffy stopped breathing for a split second. Dawn revealed herself and Buffy visibly relaxed her body and felt relieved.

"Hey, did I scare you?" Dawn asked her sister.

"Um…well, yeah, kinda. What's up?"

"Sorry. Mom rented that movie we wanted to see the theater a few months ago but we never got the chance. Forget its name. Anyway, you wanna come downstairs and watch it with us?"

"Mmm, sure. I'll be down in few minutes. I'm just gonna dry my hair real quick."

"Kay." Dawn turned to leave but something caught her eye. "Oh my god, Buffy! What happened to your hand?"

Buffy looked down at her hand and then tried to hide it underneath her sleeve. "Oh, nothing. I had a little accident when I was shaving."

Dawn gave her a puzzled look. "You cut your _hand _shaving? I'd understand your leg…but your hand? Were you shaving abnormal little hairs or something?"

Buffy sighed, indicating that she was getting annoyed. "No, Dawn, I wasn't trying to shave my hand. I grabbed the razor too tight. Now, go downstairs and wait for me."

"Okay, okay. Relax." Dawn left and Buffy returned to the bathroom to blow dry her hair.

* * *

Joyce, Buffy and Dawn spent the entire night eating popcorn and watching movies until 2am. The girls slept in till noon while Joyce did some grocery shopping and made sure they had everything they need for school the next day. The remainder of the day was spent playing The Sims on the computer, listening to music and watching more movies. They ate dinner together, as usual, and went to bed by 10 because each lady had a new and scary day ahead: Dawn starting the 7th grade for the first time. It would be the first school she's been to that changed classes every period. They missed the first week of school and that was tough enough. Everyone already knew each other from previous years or even the new kids got used to the school and people after being there for a week. Buffy has been to many high schools but it still made her nervous to be the new kid. Freshman and sophomore year are the awkward years but by your junior year you're quite acquainted with the students, school and teachers, which added more pressure for Buffy. Joyce starts her official first day at a brand new job. She was a bit nervous but she knew she could handle. It was the beginning of a fresh new life for the three of them. They each silently prayed that this would be the last move and they could finally live in one town for at least a couple of years.

* * *

The next morning Buffy woke up and took a quick shower. After she dried herself off she put on a pair of dark blue jeans and a white tank up underneath a baggy red hoodie and quickly put her hair up in a messy bun. Within a couple of minutes she bounced downstairs and joined her mother and sister in the kitchen for breakfast.

"Oh, I was just about to call you." Joyce said. "Here's your toast. Hurry up and eat 'cause we have to leave in 10 minutes."

Buffy took a seat next to Dawn and began to nibble on her toast. She wasn't hungry but she figured she'd humor her mother since she spent 20 minutes making breakfast for them.

* * *

Joyce drove Buffy and Dawn to school for their first day. After today they plan taking the bus and Joyce promised Buffy she may even get a car for Christmas, depending on how well she does in school.

Buffy walked into the school and tried to get through the huge group of students blocking the hallway. She finally managed to squeeze in between two guys and walk into the main office. She patiently waited for a student to walk in and give her a tour around the building, just like she was told to do when she registered. It took nearly 10 minutes for a girl with dark blonde hair to enter the office and collect Buffy.

"Hi. Are you the new girl?" She asked.

Buffy nodded, "Yeah."

"Great. My name is Tara and I'm going to show you around so you know were all your classes are and then I'll take you to your first class and help you get settled in. First, let's find your locker."

Buffy was more than thrilled she wasn't stuck with the typical valley girl tour guide that cared more about making social visits then showing her around. She followed Tara around like a puppy and tried to remember where everything was. It was a decent sized school but she'd been to much bigger schools. It wouldn't be too long before she knew this school by heart.

Buffy suddenly became sick to her stomach when it was time to go to her first class. This was the part she hated the most. Walking into a classroom full of people staring at her and having to find a seat near a complete stranger. She once chose to sit next to a girl who appeared friendly but she ended up hating Buffy simply for having blonde hair and looking 'preppy'. She made her life a nightmare and constantly teased her.

Tara and Buffy approached her first class, English 11 with Mr. Wilson.

"Okay, well, this is your first class. You normally have Mr. Wilson but he's in surgery today because of a car accident and Mr. Hartford is substituting. He'll be here for at least another two weeks." Tara noticed Buffy's nervous expression and wanted to make her less nervous. "I know the first day sucks. I moved here four years ago when I was in the eighth grade. It's tough."

Buffy could only manage to nod. Words couldn't express how nervous she felt.

"Hey, do you want me to walk you in?" Tara asked out of sympathy.

"Yes, please." Buffy wasted no time to answer that question.

Tara laughed and lightly touched Buffy on the shoulder. "It's okay, relax. These kids are nice. You don't have to worry about anyone in this class. Trust me. My best friends are in the same class. You actually have three classes with my friend Willow. English, Journalism and P.E. and you have two classes with Xander, English and Algebra 2. I'm also in your Journalism and World History class so most of your day should by pretty easily."

Buffy tried to smile but that honestly didn't make Buffy feel a lot better. She doesn't even know who Willow or Xander is, she doesn't know if they'll like her or if she'll like them.

"Okay, here we go. Ready?"

Buffy nodded her head, "Yeah, I think so."

Tara opened the door and motioned for Buffy to enter first. She really wished Tara would have walked in first. Just like Buffy thought, the teacher stopped talking and the students stared at her. Willow followed closely behind and went straight to the sub. Buffy had to admit he was pretty hot for a teacher. Actually, he was just hot, teacher or not. He had gorgeous cheekbones, nice features and he was tall. The only thing she didn't dig was his bleached blonde hair; she thought he would probably look even better with dark hair.

"You have a new student." Tara told Mr. Hartford. "Her name is Buffy and she just moved here from Nebraska."

Mr. Hartford glanced at Buffy. "Nice to meet you Buffy. Why don't you take a seat anywhere you like."

Wow. He had an British accent. She wasn't expecting that. It almost made her heart melt.

Tara pointed at a girl and guy in the back of the classroom. "That's Willow and Xander. There's an empty eat right beside Willow. You should go sit next her and she'll make feel more comfortable. She's very friendly."

Buffy smiled at Tara and then proceeded to walk toward the back of the room and sit down next to Willow. As she got closer she recognized her. She was the girl she bumped into the other day after she enrolled in the school. And Xander was the guy who said she was cute.

Willow smiled at Buffy, "Hi. I'm Willow and this is Xander."

Xander smiled at Buffy "Hello."

"Hi. I'm Buffy."

Willow and Xander started talking about something and Buffy halfheartedly listening to their conversation but stopped when she felt someone staring at her. She looked at the front of the classroom and noticed the teacher looking in her direction. She blushed and pretended to be interested in Willow and Xander's conversation.

The teacher started speaking and everyone stopped talking and focused their attention on him. He gave everyone an assignment to write about someone who changed their lives, either in a good or bad way.

When the bell rang Willow offered to walk Buffy to her next class. Buffy walked passed Spike but tripped on someone's back pack and fell to the ground. A few girls chuckled and Buffy felt embarrassed for doing that in front of everyone. Spike walked over to help Buffy up. He reached out a hand for her and she accepted it. As she reached her arm up her sleeve to her hoodie rolled up and revealed her two cuts. Spike noticed the cuts as he pulled Buffy up. Buffy realized her sleeve was up so she quickly pushed it back down. Spike stared at Buffy with a knowing look.

"Are you okay?"

Buffy dusted herself off and looked into the worried eyes of Spike. "I'm fine, didn't fall too hard."

Buffy could tell by the look in eyes that's not what he meant. She realized he must have seen the cuts on her arm.

"Uh, I gotta go." Buffy hurried out of the class room and Spike watched her as he left. He shook his head and sighed. He sat down in his hair and rolled his sleeve up. He looked at the large scar on his wrist.

"It's a bad habit, Buffy." He whispered to himself.


	4. First Day

Willow dropped Buffy off at her second class which was Chemistry.

"If you want me to walk you to your class after this then stand by the those lockers," Willow pointed toward the lockers near the door to her classroom. "And wait there for me when the period ends."

Buffy nodded her head. "Okay." Willow started to walk away when Buffy stopped her. "And thanks. For everything. For showing me to my class and being so friendly."

Willow smiled, "No problem. See you later."

After Willow headed toward her class Buffy walked into the class room. Half the students were already in the room and seated. She wasn't sure if there were assigned seats so she stood near the teachers desk and waited for the teacher to enter the room.

A couple of students were staring at Buffy as she just stood there. Buffy started getting uncomfortable and felt like everyone was talking about her.

More students filled the class room and took their seats. Buffy heard a couple of whispers.

"Who is that?"

"Why is she just standing there?"

Buffy tried to ignore them and bit on her lower lip from being so nervous. She prayed the teacher would come in any minute now.

A middle aged woman with short brown hair and pale skin walked into the class room. She was looking through a bunch of papers as she approached her desk. Without looking up she walked over to her chair and sat down. Buffy watched her and wondered if she knew she was there. The woman continued reading over the papers in her hand.

"Um, excuse me?" The woman didn't even look up, she kept reading with interest and barley acknowledged Buffy.

"Hmm?"

"Uh, I...I'm new here and..." The woman finally looked up and met Buffy's eyes.

"Buffy Summers?"

"Yes."

"I've been expecting you. I'm Mrs. Wheeler." Mrs. Wheeler stood up and looked towards the group of students. "Why don't you take a seat next to Cordelia." Mrs. Wheeler pointed at a girl with dark brown hair. Buffy looked at Cordelia then back at the teacher.

"Well, go on. She won't bite."

Buffy nodded her head and slowly walked over to Cordelia. She stood behind the chair next to Cordelia and pulled it out from under the table. Cordelia stopped talking to her friends and turned her head toward Buffy. Buffy sat in the chair as Cordelia's eyes burned into her. Buffy was too nervous and shy to confront Cordelia so she kept her eyes straight ahead.

"You are?"

Buffy finally turned her head toward Cordelia.

"Uh, B-Buffy."

"Buffy? You have a last name?"

"Summers."

"Buffy Summers. Nice name."

"Thanks."

Cordelia and her friends chuckled. Buffy realized they she was being sarcastic and felt embarrassed. Cordelia looked her up and down and tried hard not to laugh out loud.

"Interesting choice in clothes. You do realize it's like 90 degrees?"

Buffy looked down at her hoodie and tried hard not to cry. It was the last thing she needed to do in front of these people. Normally she wouldn't feel so vulnerable but considering what happened recently everything seemed to upset her. She had a feeling this wasn't going to be a very good school year.

Cordelia and her friends continued to make rude comments about Buffy but she ignored them and tried to focus on the lesson Mrs. Wheeler was teaching.

* * *

After second period was over Buffy stood next to the lockers Willow pointed at. She watched as students passed her and hurried to their next class. Buffy was looking through the crowd of people for Willow but someone else caught her eye.

Spike walked through the hall ways trying to get by the students so he could hurry to the parking lot, he didn't want be late for his class at the University. He started walking faster but stopped in his tracks when he saw the familiar blonde. He was about to walk over to her when Willow grabbed Buffy's arm and led her away.

Spike sighed and exited the building.

Willow entered the gym with Buffy at her side.

"We have this class together." Buffy smiled, relieved that Willow would be with her this period and thought the other students would leave her alone if she were with Willow.

* * *

At 2:25 the bell rang and school was out. Buffy picked up her books and headed out of the front door. Joyce waited in the car for Buffy. Buffy saw her mother waiting for her and jumped into the passengers seat.

"Hey, how was your first day?"

Buffy looked out the window. "Fine."

"So, what did you learn today?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? I send you to school so you can learn something. Come on, you had to have learned something." Joyce was being playful but Buffy wasn't in the mood.

"Mom, just...just leave me alone."

Joyce looked hurt but Buffy didn't notice because she was too preoccupied staring out of her window.

As Joyce was driving down the road to their new home she glanced at Buffy and noticed her sweater.

"Aren't you hot in that thing?"

"Hmm? Oh, uh...no."

"You sure 'cause it's very warm outsi..."

"Mom! I don't care if it's warm outside. I feel like wearing a sweater so I'm going to wear a sweater."

Joyce sighed, "Buffy, what's wrong? You aren't acting like yourself."

Buffy rolled her eyes.

Joyce pulled into the driveway and Buffy jumped out of the car. Joyce opened her door and caught up with Buffy.

"Buffy, I think we need to talk."

Buffy rolled her eyes again and headed towards the front door. Joyce grabbed her arm and spun her around. Buffy jerked her arm back and took a few steps backwards.

"Don't touch me! Never touch me again!" Tears fell down Buffy's cheeks and Joyce stared at her daughter in shock.

"Buffy..."

Buffy brought her hands to her face and wiped the tears away.

"I need to be alone."

Joyce watched as Buffy ran into the house and slammed the door shut. She sighed and leaned against the car.

* * *

Buffy stayed in her room the rest of the day. Joyce was downstairs cooking dinner and Dawn was in the dinning room doing her homework.

"You know, I can't believe they gave me homework on my first day!" Dawn shouted to her mother.

Joyce chuckled, "Homework is good for you. Keeps you busy and educates you."

"Whatever. Hey, where's Buffy?"

Joyce frowned. She knew something was going on with her but she won't open up to her. Maybe it was the whole moving away from home and leaving behind all your friends thing.

"She's upstairs. Why don't you go up there and tell her dinner is ready."

"Kay."

Dawn stood up and headed upstairs.

Buffy sat on her bed and was reading a Danielle Steel novel when she heard a knock on her bedroom door.

"What?"

"Dinner's ready."

"I'm not hungry."

"Come on, you have to eat."

"Go away, Dawn."

"Fine. Whatever. Don't blame me if you starve to death."

Buffy rolled her eyes and continued reading.

Dawn walked down the stairs and headed into the kitchen. She came up behind Joyce and gave her a hug. Joyce kissed her on the forehead and brushed her hair behind her ears.

"Where's Buffy?"

"She's not coming. She said she's not hungry."

Joyce sighed and walked passed Dawn to the stairs.

Joyce reached Buffy's door and knocked.

"Dawn, I said GO AWAY!"

"Buffy it's me."

Buffy sighed and stood up, she walked over to her door and unlocked it. Joyce opened her door and Buffy crawled back on her bed.

"Buff, will you please talk to me? I need to know what's going on with you."

"Nothing is going on. I just...I had a bad day at school. Some girl was giving me a hard time and...mom, I'm sorry." Buffy only told her part of the truth.

"It's all right baby. Just promise me you won't take it out on everyone else the next time you have a bad day."

Buffy nodded her head. "Okay. I promise."

Joyce hugged her daughter then pulled away. "Come downstairs and eat."

Buffy reluctantly stood up and walked downstairs with Joyce. That night Buffy didn't eat anything and hid her food inside her napkin.

* * *

The next day Buffy walked into her first period and was greeted by Willow and Xander.

"Hey Buffy."

"Hi."

"Xander and I were wondering if you wanted to go to the Bronze with us tonight."

"The what?"

Willow chuckled, "The Bronze, it's a club a lot of teenagers go to."

"Oh, um...sure."

Willow and Xander smiled and spoke at the same time, "Great."

Willow and Xander looked at each other and laughed.

Buffy noticed the look in their eyes when they looked at each other and smiled.

"Are you two...uhh...you know?"

Xander spoke first. "No, no...no way." Willow looked at him, obviously hurt. "Not that there's anything wrong with Willow, it's just she's like a sister to me. I've known her all my life and it's weird...to think of her like that."

Willow looked down and Buffy felt sorry for her.

"Oh. I see."

They were interrupted when the familiar British accent tried to get their attention.

"I hope everyone completed their assignment."

Buffy leaned toward Willow and whispered. "I thought he was just a substitute."

"He is. Our teacher is out for a few weeks because he's getting surgery on his knee."

"Oh."

"You don't seem so thrilled about Spike being here. Why don't you like him?"

"It's not that I don't like him, I just..."

Spike noticed Buffy and Willow whispering to each other and spoke loudly. "Miss Rosenberg, would you like to go first?"

Willow turned her head towards Spike. "Huh?"

"Would you like to share your assignment first? Everyone is going to take a turn and share with everyone who they wrote about and why. So why don't you come up here and get it over with, pet."

A couple of the girls sighed happily when Spike said, 'pet'. They loved his British nicknames.

"Uh, sure." Willow walked to the front of the room and held a piece of paper in her hand.

"You don't have to read us what you wrote, just give us a brief summary and when you're done you can hand me your paper."

After Willow and few other people went to the front of the room Spike called on Buffy. Buffy became nervous and didn't want to share what she wrote so she made up an excuse.

"I, uh, I didn't do mine."

"That's all right. Yesterday was your first day but after today I expect you to complete all of your work."

A few minutes later the bell rang and Buffy stood up. Everyone except Buffy, Willow and Xander walked out of the classroom. As the three of them reached the front of the class room Spike stood in front of them.

"Miss Summers, I'd like to speak with you for a minute."

Buffy looked at Willow and Xander.

"We'll see you later Buff."

Xander took Willows hand and led her out of the class room.

"O-Okay."

Buffy turned back to Spike and waited for him to speak.

Spike pulled out a piece of paper from his desk drawer.

"Mr. Taylor, your regular English teacher has the new students fill out his form." He handed the paper to Buffy. "Just answer the questions and hand it in tomorrow or if I see you later today you can give it to me then." Buffy skimmed over the paper then looked back up at Spike.

"Okay."

Spike looked like he wanted to talk to her about something but he glanced at the clock and remembered he had another class to teach. A couple of students entered the class room and took a seat at their desks.

"Well, you better get to class." Buffy nodded then left the class room.

* * *

Buffy walked into her Chemistry class and took a seat. She pulled out the paper Spike handed her and read it. It had a bunch of questions about her, the purpose of the questions was to get to know her better. It asked questions like: Who do you live with? What is your favorite school subject? What are your goals for the future? Etc...

Buffy put the paper away when the teacher entered the room.

* * *

After school Buffy waited outside for her mother to pick her up. She never used to be late when picking Buffy up from school.

Buffy thought she might have fallen asleep so she entered the school and walked over to the pay phone. She dialed her number and waited for someone to pick up the phone. When the answer machine came on she hung and headed back outside. She figured her mom was on her way right now.

Twenty minutes later Buffy was the only student on the school campus. She impatiently crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the ground. She heard a car approach and expected to see her mother pull up. A car she hadn't seen before pulled up next to her and the person in the car rolled down the window.

Buffy's eyes widened when she saw the person in the car. She took a few steps back.

"Get in the car."

Buffy shook her head and started to run. The person jumped out of the car and chased her. He caught up to her and grabbed her arm. Buffy struggled and kept punching and kicking the person but the his grip just grew tighter. Buffy started to scream but he covered her mouth and threw her into the back seat of the car.

He hurried into the drivers seat and drove away.


	5. Kidnapped

**Authors Note:** Thanks for the reviews. This chapter is rated 'M' for Mature.

* * *

"Miss me, baby?" The deep raspy voice came from the front of the car.

Buffy held her throbbing head and fear quickly overwhelmed her. Her mind started racing and she wondered where her mother and sister were. What if he hurt them? Did they know he was back? How did he find them?

"Wha...how...how did you...It...where...I...how?"

"I see your conversation skills hasn't improved any."

Buffy gave him a hard glare. "Where is my mother?"

The man let out an evil laugh. "Oh, she's around." He started to laugh again and Buffy got an uneasy feeling in her stomach.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

His cold brown eyes turned back toward Buffy and the edge of his lips curled up. "You'll see." The sound of his harsh voice made Buffy feel sick. The way he was looking at her told her what his intentions for her were.

His attention went back to the road and Buffy grew even more worried when he pulled into the Middle School parking lot.

"Dawn." Buffy whispered. Hoping that her kidnapper wasn't paying attention to her she slowly crawled over to the backseat door on the left side of the car. Her body was firmly pressed against the door and she lifted her arm up to the door handle. She grasped the handle and slowly pushed down. When the door opened the overhead light turned on and the man snapped his head to the backseat. Buffy pushed the door wide open and jumped out. She ran as fast as she could and didn't look back when she heard the mans loud footsteps behind her.

She knew he was catching up with her so she quickly ran into a group of students standing outside waiting for their rides. She pushed past a couple kids and ignored the looks they were giving her. Her only thought was to get Dawn then get the hell out of there.

She continued to sneak behind a few students and search for her sister. She couldn't see the man anywhere and took that as a good sign.

Buffy sighed in relief when she saw the familiar brunette standing by herself and waiting for their mother to pick her up.

Buffy rushed over to her sister but stopped when she saw the man approach Dawn from behind. He yanked Dawn's arm roughly and she was spun around to be face to face with him. She could hear Dawn loudly whisper from where she was standing. "Ted?"

Ted tried to force Dawn into the parking lot but also trying to make it look causal because they had witnesses. Buffy ran over to her sister and grabbed her other arm. Dawn looked into the eyes of her worried sister.

"Stay away from my sister. You touch her again and I'll make a huge scene."

Ted smirked and pulled out a sharp knife hidden beneath his jacket.

"Make a scene and you'll see the lifeless body of your darling sister lying on the ground covered in blood." He rolled his tongue under his teeth.

Buffy gulped and looked as if she'd start crying at any moment. Why wasn't anyone wondering what was going on between the three of them? Was Sunnydale so unobservant they hadn't noticed a 40 something year old man drag a 12 year old girl into the parking lot. And a teenage girl trying to keep the man from touching the younger girl. Had no one felt the tension between them?

"Looks like you girls have no choice but to get into the damn car before I lose my temper and murder you both right now."

Dawn's eyes filled with tears and she gave Buffy a pleading look. Buffy felt so helpless when she saw her sister. She swore to always protect her but now she couldn't do anything to keep her sister safe. If only she had found Dawn a few minutes earlier, maybe then this whole situation never would have happened. Buffy always caused everyone so much pain and grief. Her sister probably hated her now because she couldn't save her. Buffy continued to blame herself as Ted dragged both girls into the car.

He shoved them into the backseat then crawled into the drivers seat.

"Where's mom?" Dawn tearfully asked.

Ted chuckled. "You'll find out soon enough.

Dawn looked at Buffy with a terrified expression on her face.

Everyone was silent for the rest of the trip. Ted pulled into the driveway of their house. He stepped out of the car and opened the backseat door. He grabbed each girl and yanked them out of the car.

Dawn stumbled forward when she was thrown from the car, nearly falling face first into the ground. Buffy managed to keep her balance.

He led both girls into the house. As soon as they entered he locked the doors and told them sit down on the couch and for them to not move. If they dared attempted to leave he threatened to kill their mother. Buffy and Dawn took him seriously, they knew what he was capable of and would have no problem killing Joyce.

Ted gave them a warning look before descending upstairs.

The minute he left Buffy stood up and ran over to a phone. Dawn stood up and grabbed her arm.

"Buffy, no! He'll kill mom."

"Dawn, he'll her either way and us. I have to call the police, he won't know I called. Sit back down and tell me if you hear him coming."

Dawn nodded her head as a tear fell down her cheek. Buffy gave her sister a hug then picked up the phone. Dawn turned towards the living room and sat on the couch.

Buffy pressed the talk button and dialed '911'. She pressed the phone to her ear and waited. There was no ringing so she hung up the phone and pressed talk again. No dial tone. Buffy cursed and jumped when she heard a loud thumping sound caming from upstairs. Dawn screeched and Buffy hurried towards the couch.

Ted emerged from the stairs and held the limp body of Joyce Summers. Buffy gasped when she saw her mother.

"You bastard."

Ted walked over to Buffy and slapped her across the face. Buffy held her burning cheek and tears filled her eyes. Dawn stood up and embraced her sister.

"Watch your language young lady." Ted smiled. "Now, I think it's time for a family meeting."

* * *

Joyce was now awake and sitting in between her daughters on the couch. Ted was standing in front of them, pacing.

"So, here's the deal. We pretend to be a nice big happy family and no one will get hurt...badly. If any of you little witches dare tell anyone what's going on you'll come home to a dead mother hanging from the ceiling." Dawn winced and Joyce squeezed her hand.

Ted smiled then frowned when he looked at Joyce. He stepped closer to her and gently stroked her cheek.

"You thought I wouldn't find you, did you?" Ted chuckled then looked away. Just as the girls thought he was about to walk away he quickly faced Joyce then backhanded her.

"Bitch. The next time you think about running away I'll chop your fucking legs off."

* * *

On Monday Buffy walked into her English class with a grim look on her face. She took a seat next to Willow and Willow turned towards her.

"What happened Friday night?"

"Huh?"

"The Bronze. You said you were going to go. We were waiting for you last night."

"Oh. Um, sorry. I...I forgot. I'm really sorry."

Willow gave her a small smile. "It's okay."

Xander walked into the room and walked over to Buffy. "You know, the next time you decide to ditch us please give us a call and let us know so we don't have a wait 4 hours for you to show up."

Willow slapped his arm. "Xander!"

"Ahem." Everyone stopped talking when Spike walked into the class room.

At the end of the class Buffy walked up to Spike and handed him the piece of paper that he gave her yesterday.

"Thank you, Miss Summers."

Buffy nodded her head and was about to walk out of the room when her stomach started hurting badly. She didn't eat anything at all during the weekend except for a tiny portion of dinner last night. Her stomach felt so hollow and the pain increased. Her face turned pale and Spike looked at her with concern.

"Buffy?"

Buffy held her stomach and started to feel weak.

"Buffy? Are you okay, love?"

Buffy was about to collapse to the ground when Spike caught her.

"Buffy!" Buffy looked into his eyes. "When was the last time you ate?"

Buffy shook her head. "I don't know."

Spike nodded his head. "Come on, I'll take you out to eat. I have a teacher for me covering my next class anyways."

Buffy nodded her head and followed Spike out of the class room.

* * *

**Authors Note:** I know the last part was kind of lame but I had to get Spike and Buffy to go somewhere alone so they can talk. 


	6. Confession

**Authors note:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You are my motivation to keep working on his story!

* * *

Spike led Buffy into the school parking lot. Spike walked over to a blue Ford Taurus SES and opened the front passengers door for Buffy. Buffy gave him a small smile and slipped into the car. Spike shut the door and walked over to the drivers side of the car. He opened the door and slid in.

Spike glanced at Buffy before pulling out of the parking lot. "So, where to?"

"Umm...Wendy's?"

Spike chuckled. "Wendy's it is."

* * *

Just a few minutes after Spike left the school he looked at Buffy in the passenger seat of his car.

"Care to tell me why you haven't eaten in awhile?"

"Haven't had time. I've been really busy," Buffy replied trying to sound causal.

Spike only nodded then focused on the road. He tried to break the tension between them and decided to ask her a few questions about herself.

"Tell me about yourself, pet?"

Buffy looked at him not sure what to say. "Um, like what?"

"Like anything. Like, why did you move to Sunnydale of all places?"

Buffy looked down. She had been trying to avoid that question since the day she moved to Sunnydale but she knew she couldn't get out of this one. She tried to think of something quickly. Spike stayed silent and waited for her reply.

"Uh...my mom...um, she got a job offer down here and took it." Buffy hoped he bought it.

"What job?"

"Huh?"

"What job offer did you mom get?"

"Oh, um..." Buffy started to get nervous and didn't know how to lie about this one. Her mom didn't have a job yet so she couldn't lie and say the job she had gotten was the one she received a job offer from. Buffy thought fast and pretended to get distracted. "Oh, my stomach. I'm so hungry. Are we almost there?"

"Yep, few more minutes."

"Kay."

"Your mom..."

This guy wouldn't give up on the topic about her mothers 'job'. Buffy grabbed her stomach and pretended to be in pain. Spike gave her a worried look and tried to get to the restaurant as fast as he could.

"We're almost there, pet."

Buffy smiled and realized how dramatic she was being. She was acting like she was dying. Not like she hadn't eaten in three days. She knew if she kept it up Spike would see right through her. She tried to act normal again and hoped Spike wouldn't press on any further about her moms 'job'.

* * *

Spike pulled into the parking lot of Wendy's and helped Buffy out of the car. They entered the building. An elderly couple was sitting at a table, eating. Two guys, who looked to be in their early twenties were ordering their food. And a middle aged man was walking over to a table with a tray in his hands. It seemed so empty and Buffy realized it was still early in the morning. Most people were either at school or work.

Buffy walked right behind the two guys ordering their food and Spike followed. One of the guys looked back and smiled. He elbowed his friend and whispered something in his ear. The other guy turned around and looked at Buffy. He nodded then smiled. The first guy looked back at Buffy again and licked his lips.

Buffy felt uncomfortable and wished the guys would stop staring at her. Spike noticed her uneasiness and a glanced at the guys checking Buffy out. Spike stepped closer to Buffy so that his body was nearly touching hers. When one of the guys started to approach her, Spike put his arm around her and whispered into her ear.

"If you want these wankers to stop checking you out then work with me, love. If you don't mind them then let me know and I'll back off."

Buffy smiled and leaned back into Spike. She didn't feel like getting hit on by those guys so she pretended Spike was her boyfriend.

The guy saw Spike wrap his arm around Buffy and she leaned into him so he assumed they were a couple and walked back over to his friend. His friend gave him a questioning look when he returned. He nodded his head toward Buffy and the other guy looked back. He saw a guy all over the girl they were checking out.

Both Spike and Buffy laughed. They walked up to the counter and ordered their food. Buffy only got a salad.

"That's all you want , love?"

Buffy nodded her head.

"I'm on a diet."

Spike laughed and shook his head. He looked back at her and saw the serious look on her face. He stopped laughing and gave her a 'you're crazy' look.

"You're serious? You don't need to go on a diet, love. You're perfect the way you are."

Buffy blushed and looked down. Spike thought about what he just said and wondered if he should be talking that way to a student.

They took at seat at a table and started eating and talking. Buffy told him a few things about herself, such as what her hobbies are and what he does in her free time. Spike told her the same things.

They were talking and laughing when Buffy accidentally dropped some of her salad onto her chest. She giggled and felt embarrassed. Spike smiled and handed her a napkin.

"Thanks."

Buffy reached for the napkin and once again her sleeve pushed back a little and revealed her cuts. Spike noticed them, again. He sighed and gave Buffy a concerned look.

"Buffy, can I ask you a question?"

Buffy was wiping her shirt off and didn't look up. "Go ahead, ask away."

"I don't mean to pry, but I'm worried about you." Buffy looked into his eyes and wondered what he was talking about. "Is...Is there something going on at home that's bothering you?" Buffy looked away then looked back into his eyes and shook her head.

"No. Why?"

Spike bowed his head and sighed. He lifted his head back up and peered into her green eyes.

"Then what's causing you to hurt yourself?"

Buffy looked shocked then looked at her arm. "What? I...I'm not hurting myself."

He sighed again. "Then pull up your sleeve."

"What? No. I...It's cold."

Spike leaned back and glanced around the warm room. "It's 87 degrees today, Buffy."

Buffy looked down and tears formed in her eyes. Spike leaned forward.

"Buffy, it's okay. I'm not going to judge you."

She couldn't let Spike know that she cuts herself. Otherwise that'd led to a bunch of questions and would end up resulting in the truth about her stepfather which would led him to kill her mother.

"I'm not hurting myself Mr. Hartford."

"Spike."

"Spike. I'm not hurting myself Spike."

"Then what are those cuts on your arm?"

"My cat...he scratched me."

"Your cat?"

Buffy nodded.

"What's your cats name?"

"Huh? Oh, um..." Buffy tried to think of a pet name. "Um, Sophie."

"Sophie?"

Buffy nodded her head once again.

"I thought it was a 'he'?"

"Uh...It is...but um, when we got her...uh, him we thought it was a girl and named it Sophie but when we found out she was a he we didn't feel like changing the name because...because we grew so attached to the name Sophie."

Spike shook his head. "You're a bad liar, Buffy."

"You think I'm lying? Why would I lie? I have no reason to." Buffy looked down and sighed.

"Look, Buffy. I understand you're embarrassed but you have no reason to be. Cutting really isn't that uncommon with teenagers who feel...depressed."

"I'm not depressed. I don't...how would you know anyways? By watching Dr. Phil?"

"No. Because I did it."

Buffy looked into his eyes and saw honesty. "You did?"

"Yeah. When I was 15. My mom...she uh, she had just passed away. My dad started drinking and didn't pay attention to us anymore. When she died it was like he died also. I had no one. Social services found out my dad was never around and placed my brother and I into a group home." He glanced at Buffy then continued. "We went from group home to group home and foster home to foster home. We were constantly moving and living with people we didn't know. My brother and I grew tired of moving so we ran away. We lived on the streets for a few days. One day we ran into a gang..." Spike shifted uncomfortably in his seat and started speaking again. "My brother got into a fight with them, I just wanted him to leave them alone and walk away. But he had too much pride and refused to back down. He...he was shot. And he..." Spike's eyes became watery. "He died. I had no family left. Everyone was gone and I was alone in the world. I started to get depressed and blamed myself for my brothers death. I kept thinking 'If only I had tried harder I could have dragged him away from those gang members and he'd still be alive.' So, I...I started to take drugs and got into a lot of trouble. But the drugs weren't enough, I still felt the pain. So one day I picked up a knife a cut my wrist open." Spike brought his arm to Buffy's face and showed her the scar on his wrist. Buffy blinked back her tears and stopped herself crying.

"I know it's hard Buffy. But believe me things will get better. At the time I didn't think they would, but they did. Eventually I grew up and decided I didn't want to live my life this way. I didn't want to live in the streets doing drugs and cutting myself. I deserved a better life. So I got my act together and went back to school. I worked my arse off. I went to night school as well. I worked hard to get into college. I got a few jobs and here I am now. I worked hard for this life. And I'm still working hard. It wasn't too long ago I was your age. I'm only 21 years old, Buffy. Just legal to buy alcoholic drinks."

Buffy couldn't believe the life Spike had. He dealt with just as much, if not more pain as she did. She also couldn't believe he had just opened up to her like that. He was someone she could trust and talk to. But she still couldn't tell him everything. Her mothers life depended on it.


	7. Pain

**Authors Note:** I'm trying to update this story once a day but my life is so busy and I'm rarely ever home so please forgive me if I don't update for a few days.

_This chapter is rated 'M' for language and violence._

* * *

Spike drove Buffy back to the High School after they finished eating. Buffy wanted to drop the subject about the whole cutting issue so the rest of their conversation was nice and pleasant. When Buffy entered the building it was almost time for 4th period. Spike wrote her an excuse for missing the last two periods.

The rest of the day went by quick and before Buffy knew it, it was time to go home. Although she wasn't a big fan of school she wished it weren't over so soon. She dreaded going home. The only reason she went with Ted's plan was for her mother and her sister's protection. Normally she wouldn't give in to him so easily, she usually put up a fight but she didn't have it in her anymore. She grew weaker and weaker each day.

She knew it couldn't continue like this forever. Someday it had to end. But she was worried about how it would all end. Would Ted eventually kill them all? Would they escape from him once again? And keep moving until the day he dies?

Life wasn't fair. Just as the girls had thought they escaped the abuse, he came back.

* * *

Buffy entered the house with Dawn at her side. The entire house was pitch black. The curtains were closed, not one light was on. They both glanced around the room and wondered where Joyce and Ted were.

Part of Ted's 'plan' was for Buffy to walk to Dawn's school after school was out and walk her home. They were to be home by 3:40pm at the latest. If they weren't...he'd kill Joyce.

It was now 3:36pm, they were home 4 minutes before their deadline. They had to run just to make it in time.

They walked further into the house and Buffy turned a lamp on.

"Where's mom?" Dawn asked trying to keep the worry out of her voice.

"I don't know. Maybe upstairs?"

"Do...do you think that he...um, Ted...he..."

Buffy turned her head toward Dawn, aware of what she was trying to ask. Buffy shook her head 'no', even though she wasn't so confident in her answer.

A masculine voice coming from behind the stair case made both girls jump. "What, do you think Ted...? Care to finish that sentence for me, sweetie?" Ted mocked Joyce's voice when saying 'sweetie'.

Dawn harshly shook her head as Ted stride toward her. He lifted his arm up and stroked her cheek. Dawn flinched and Buffy came to her rescue. Buffy grabbed Dawn's arm and pulled her out of Ted's reach.

Ted glared at Buffy. "Big sister jealous little sister is getting all the attention?"

"Hardly."

Ted stepped closer to Buffy and got right into her face. Buffy could feel his warm breath against her face and it sent chills down her spine.

"What did you say!?" his voice was loud and harsh. "Did you just talk back to me!? What did I tell you ungrateful bitches about talking back to me, hmm? Did I say I'd give you a hug if you disobey me? NO! I said I'd beat the living SHIT OUT OF YOU! Guess I'm going to have to teach you a little lesson." Ted gripped Buffy's arm so tightly it was sure to leave a bruise. He roughly yanked her toward him then threw her on to the stairs.

Buffy's body crashed into the stairs and she nearly broke a rib. She picked herself up with her elbows and turned back to face Ted. His face showed nothing but pure anger.

He walked over to Buffy and kicked her in the back, which caused her to fall back down. He then grabbed a handful of her hair and jerked her up with full force. Her entire body ached but his abuse didn't cease.

Still holding onto her hair he pulled her up so she was standing on her feet and threw her into a wall. Her head smacked against the wall and she felt as though any minute she would slip into unconsciousness.

Dawn gasped and begged Ted to leave her sister alone. Ted was pissed about her interrupting his lesson to Buffy. He stepped away from Buffy and was at Dawn's side in a second. He shook his head then slapped her across her face with all his strength. This was the first time he hit her and she was surprised how much it hurt. She grabbed her face and tried to not to cry out from the stinging pain.

Ted went back to Buffy. He picked her up by the collar of her shirt and slammed her against the wall. He lifted her up so her feet weren't touching the ground.

Buffy couldn't let this go on. She had to fight back.

She moved her leg up so her knee was directly in between his legs, next to his manly area. She counted to three in her head then lifted her knee up and thrust forward.

Ted doubled over in pain, he released his grip on Buffy, which caused her to fall to the floor.

Once Ted recovered he had Buffy pinned to the ground beneath him. Buffy punched him in the face and tried to crawl away. He grabbed her around her waist then flipped her over so she was on the top. He released her waist and started choking her.

His hands were firmly wrapped around Buffy's neck and he continued to squeeze the air out of her lungs.

Dawn stood by, watching. She felt so helpless but she knew she had to save Buffy. She thought quick then walked over to a lamp and unplugged it. She held onto the lamp firmly and was ready to drop it on Ted's head when Joyce ran down the stairs.

Joyce ran over to Ted and Buffy. She grabbed one of Ted's fingers and bent it back until he cried out in pain. He stopped his assault on Buffy and threw her off of him.

Joyce hurried to Buffy's side and checked out the huge red marks on her neck. She winced as she saw the pain Ted inflicted on her daughter.

Buffy was still gasping for air when Joyce left her to scold Ted.

"What the hell do you think you're doing to my daughter?"

Ted stood up and towered over Joyce.

"I'll do what I fucking feel like doing. There's not a damn thing. You. Can. Do. To. Stop. Me." He took a pause each time he poked Joyce in the chest.

Joyce was ready to explode but he knocked her forward and she hit her head hard against the cold hard floor. Dawn ran over to her side and helped her up. Just as Ted was about to charge at them both the door bell rang.

Ted snapped his head to the door and wondered who the hell was ringing their door bell. He distinctly remembered telling the girls they were to have NO visitors.

He made sure all the girls hadn't looked beaten up before he opened the door.

"Yes?" Ted asked the visitor in a agitated voice.

"Hello." A British voice came from the other end of the door. "I'm Rupert Giles, I'm a friend of Joyce Summers. Is she here?"

"She's busy."

Giles leaned toward the house slightly and tried to take a peak inside. Ted noticed what he was doing and blocked his way so he couldn't see into the house.

"Well then, could you tell her I stopped bye?"

"Sure."

"Oh, and just out of curiosity, who might you be? I had no idea Joyce had any one but her daughters living with her."

"I'm her husband."

Giles seemed to be a bit surprised at that. Ted mistook his response for not knowing Joyce had a husband. Before Giles could say another word the door was slammed shut in front of his face.

Ted walked over to Joyce with his arms crossed over his chest.

"You skanky little bitch. Didn't take you long to find another man to screw. You are such a slut, do you know that?"

Joyce looked offended and started to defend herself. "Giles, is a old friend of mine. I have not had any relationships with any men since I've been here. Don't you dare accuse me of being the unfaithful one. You're the one who likes to sleep around."

Ted slapped Joyce across the face then dragged her up the stairs. Buffy reached for her mom but Ted pulled her away. "Mommy has to learn a lesson girls. For being a skank and for not respecting me."

Ted dragged Joyce up the stairs and into the bedroom. He slammed the door shut and locked it.

Buffy panicked and ran towards a phone. She dialed '911'. This time she heard the phone ring.

A few minutes later Buffy hung up the phone and hurried upstairs. She had to distract Ted from her mom before the police arrived. She knew if the police showed up when Joyce was still locked away in that room with him, he'd kill her.

Buffy crept over to Joyce's bedroom door and softly knocked. A loud growl came from the other side.

"What do you want?"

"Um, Ted. Uh...something...your red shirt...it umm...something happened...with the...uhh..." Buffy had no idea what to say. She knew Ted's favorite red shirt was downstairs so she made it sound like something had happened to the shirt. She knew he'd leave the room and rush downstairs to see what happened to it.

Just as she expected, the door opened and Ted pushed Buffy out of the way and ran down the stairs.

"Where is it? What happened to my shirt? What did you bitches do?"

Ted searched the downstairs for his shirt as Dawn ran upstairs and joined her sister.

"We stay up here and try to keep him down there until the police arrive, got it?" Buffy asked her sister.

Dawn only nodded her head in agreement.

Buffy took one step into the bedroom.

"Mom?"

Joyce was lying on the bed. Buffy wasn't sure if she was asleep or awake. She walked closer and noticed a huge bruise on her left eye and many other bruises scattered along her body.

Joyce moaned and opened her eyes.

"B-Buffy...what...what are you doing...here?"

"Mom!"

Buffy was about to embrace her mother when she heard police sirens in the background.

* * *

An hour later Dawn sat in the waiting room in the hospital. Joyce and Buffy were both being examined by doctors.

After the police arrived they arrested Ted. They promised all three women Ted wouldn't hurt them again. Joyce was so bruised and weak an ambulance came and took her to the hospital. A police officer took Buffy and Dawn to the hospital so they could see their mom. Once he got a good look at Buffy he insisted she be looked at as well.

Joyce was told to stay overnight but Buffy and Dawn were free to go home. Since they were both under 18 and had no one at home waiting for them they decided to stay at the hospital overnight with their mom.

* * *

The next day Joyce, Buffy and Dawn went home. Buffy and Dawn missed school and Joyce called the school and told them there was a family emergency and the girls weren't able to make it to school.

Joyce decided to have a talk with her daughters about the past few days.

* * *

A few days passed and everyone started moving on with their lives. Joyce and Dawn went about their normal routines but Buffy was still stuck on rewind. Every night she had nightmares about Ted. Every time she heard someone behind her she instantly thought of Ted. She was scared he'd come back one day. She wondered if the fear of him returning would ever disappear. Would she be able to have a normal life again? And would the memories of him ever stop?

-----------------------------------------------------------

.  
Buffy walked into her English class and saw a young woman sitting at the front of the room. She wondered where Spike was and who she was. She took her seat next to Willow and Xander.

"Who is that?"

Willow didn't seem to notice the dark haired woman in the front of the room.

"Who?"

"Her. Sitting at the teachers desk."

Willow looked towards the front of the room and shrugged. Just then Spike entered the room.

"Hello class. Before we get started I'd like to introduce you to my fiancée, Drusilla. She's going to help us with today's lesson."

Just about all of the girls hearts sank when they heard Spike mentioned the word fiancée.

* * *

**Authors Note: **This isn't how I wanted the chapter to turn out but it'll have to do. I had it pictured much better in my head but I couldn't seem to write it down. I hope this chapter was okay. 


	8. A Secret Revealed

**Authors Note**: Sorry it took so long to post this chapter. And thanks for the reviews. I appreciate them. The more reviews I get the faster I try to post more chapters.

* * *

"I can't believe he's engaged!" A girl with short blonde hair whined as Buffy passed her in the hall way.

Buffy, Willow and Xander walked to the cafeteria and occasionally they heard a few female students complain about Mr. Hartford a.k.a. Spike being taken.

"I don't understand what the big deal about Spike having a fiancée is all about," Buffy told Willow and Xander. "I mean he's our teacher. It's illegal to have a relationship with him and he'd never be interested in a student."

Willow smiled, "Oh come on, you can't say you're not the least bit attracted to him."

"No! Why would I be? He's not my type." Willow gave her a look and Buffy rolled her eyes then continued, "Okay, maybe a little. But I still don't understand why all these girls have to cry over the fact he's taken. They wouldn't have a chance even if he were single."

Willow bumped into another student as she was about to entire the cafeteria.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the geek squad."

Willow looked into eyes of Cordelia Chase.

"Sorry."

"Yeah. You better be." Cordelia pushed passed Willow and continued walking to where ever her destination was.

Buffy watched Cordelia walk away then looked at Willow. "What's her problem? Why does she always have to be such a bit.." She was interrupted by the sound of the school bell.

Buffy, Willow and Xander entered the cafeteria.

Buffy saw Spike talking to a group of teachers. Drusilla was at his side and clinging to his arm. She didn't know why but she started feeling a little jealous when she saw Drusilla and Spike together. She figured it was because she didn't have a boyfriend.

* * *

Later that night Joyce, Buffy and Dawn were sitting in the dinning room eating dinner. Dawn was gossiping about school and Joyce was telling them about her job. She got a job at a advertisement agency.

"What about you, Buffy? What did you do today?" Joyce asked her eldest daughter as she took a bite of her manicotti.

"Oh, you know, the usual. Go to school, go to class...nothing special. Oh, and a bunch of girls were complaining about one of my teachers being engaged."

Dawn suddenly dropped her fork and spoke so loudly it startled both Joyce and Buffy. "Oh! That reminds me. I got asked out today!" Dawn beamed at her sister and mother. Joyce smiled, Buffy frowned.

"That's great, sweetie. Who's the lucky boy who asked my little baby out?"

"His name is Connor. He is SO cute! All the girls like him. And he picked me!"

Buffy rolled her eyes. She couldn't stand listening to this so she picked her plate up and headed towards the kitchen. She stopped as soon as Dawn spoke again.

"Oh. Buffy. Connor has a older brother. His name is Angel. Maybe you could date him! He's 17 years old! He's a senior at your school."

"Yeah. Right." Buffy walked into the kitchen. She threw away all her left over food in the trash and put her plate in the dish washer.

After Buffy closed the dish washer she looked at the counter and noticed a sharp knife next to the sink. She looked at the door that led to the dinning room to make sure Joyce and Dawn weren't coming. After taking a deep breath she picked up the knife and hid it under her shirt. She slipped the handle of the knife into her pants so the sharp point was sticking up.

Buffy left the kitchen and went into the dinning room then straight up the stairs. She acted as normal as possible when walking past her mother and sister. She didn't want them to suspect anything.

After Buffy entered her room she pulled out the knife and laid it down on her bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and glanced at the knife lying next to her. She rolled her sleeve back and picked up the knife. She shut her eyes tight as she placed the knife on her cold pale skin.

She made one cut, then another and another. Her eyes snapped open and tears rolled down her cheeks when she saw the damage she had just done to her skin. Those cuts were sure to leave scars. Her cuts started getting deeper and deeper. But never too deep.

She was no longer in her trace mode when she cut herself, now she felt herself craving for the blood. It stopped her from thinking about him. Besides, she needed to punish herself. She let him hurt her family.

Even though she replayed Spike's words to her in her head over and over again it couldn't stop her from hurting herself.

She knew exactly what she was doing but she couldn't stop. And that's what frightened her the most.

Sometimes it felt like she was outside of her body. Like she was watching herself from a distance. No matter how much she called out to herself, begging herself to stop, she couldn't.

Anytime she had a vision of him, or heard his name she had to take the pain and anger on herself.

She wants to stop. Needs to stop. But she can't.

* * *

School went by fast. Nothing exciting happened, as usual. She talked to Spike for a few minutes. He wanted to know how she was doing. She lied of course. She told him things were much better and she's never been happier. Even though Spike nodded his head she could see the doubt in his eyes. Almost as if he could see right through her. See right through her lies. When he looked at her it was like he felt the pain she felt. She could tell he wanted to say something but he kept it to himself.

Buffy promised Willow and Xander she'd go to the Bronze tonight. She told them she wouldn't stand them up this time. Willow believed her but Xander wasn't so sure.

* * *

Buffy walked into the doors of the Bronze. Loud music blasted into her ears. People were screaming and shouting and dancing. She looked through the crowd of people for Willow and Xander. But she couldn't find them anywhere.

She started pushing past people while looking for her friends. Someone tapped her on her shoulder and she spun around.

"Spike!?"

"Hello love."

"What are you doing here?"

Spike was about to reply when a pair of arms wrapped behind him. Drusilla emerged from behind Spike and smiled at Buffy.

"Hello Buffy."

"Hi. You remember my name?"

"Of course. My Spikey talks about you all the time."

Buffy blushed a little, hoping Spike hadn't noticed.

"Oh."

Spike let out a nervous laugh. She sighed in relief when Willow and Xander walked up behind Buffy.

Willow smiled and whispered to Xander. "I told you she'd come!"

Xander smiled and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

Willow and Xander dragged Buffy away. They took a seat and watched their classmates dance. Willow smiled brightly when she saw Tara approach them.

"Hey guys."

"Hi Tara." Buffy, Willow and Xander spoke at the same time.

Tara smiled. "Can I join you?"

Willow signaled at a empty seat next to her. "Of course. Take a seat."

"Thanks."

Tara sat down and spoke up.

"So, what do you guys think about the future Mrs. Hartford?"

"She seems nice." Buffy replied.

Tara, Buffy and Willow talked for a few more minutes while Xander left to get a coke's for everyone.

Xander handed Buffy her coke and she reached her arm up. Tara noticed something that seemed odd about her arm but kept her mouth closed. She looked at Willow and Xander to see if they noticed anything but they didn't seem to have noticed the cuts along her arm. She knew Willow would have said something if she saw them.

A few hours passed and Buffy glanced at her watch. She had to get home so Xander walked her home. Willow and Tara lived near each other so they walked home together.

"So, how did you like the Bronze?"

Buffy looked at Xander and nodded. "It was pretty cool."

"So you had fun?"

"Yep."

Buffy stopped walking when she reached the familiar house.

"Well, this is my house."

Buffy and Xander said their goodbyes and Buffy walked into the front door. All the lights were off so she assumed everyone was asleep.

She snuck upstairs and crawled into her bed.

* * *

Today was Saturday so Buffy slept in. She made plans to hang out with Willow, Xander and Tara.

At noon the sound of a phone ringing echoed through the house. Buffy groaned and rolled over on to her back. She picked up her pillow and covered it over her face.

Joyce knocked on her door and Buffy's muffled voice was barley audible.

"What is it?"

Joyce opened her door with a phone in her hand.

"You're still sleeping? It's noon. It's not like you to sleep this late."

Buffy removed the pillow. "Well, I'm tired."

"Okay. Do you want me to tell Willow you're asleep?" Buffy noticed the phone in Joyce's hand.

"She's on the phone?"

Joyce nodded her head.

"No, I'll talk to her." Buffy reached her arm out and Joyce handed her the phone. Joyce was about to exit her daughters room but something caught her attention. She walked over to Buffy's bed and grabbed her arm. Buffy looked shocked and tried to yank her arm back. But Joyce won and pulled her arm out of her blankets. She clapped her hand over her mouth when she saw the cuts scattered along her daughters arm.

"Oh god. Buffy, what did you do?" A tear fell from Buffy's eye. She was caught.

"I'll call you later." Buffy whispered into the phone then pressed a button on the phone before dropping it onto the bed next to her.

* * *

Joyce drove her car down the state highway and Buffy sat the passenger seat. Dawn sat in the backseat looking out her window. It was a stormy day. The clouds were dark and rain poured onto the hood of the car.

Joyce pulled up to a building that read, "Mental Hospital."

Joyce opened her car door and helped Buffy and Dawn out.

"This is the place Dr. Freeman said to go to."

Buffy looked at her mother with tears in her eyes. "Why do we have to do this?"

"To get you some help. Dr. Freeman said they'll give you a evaluation. From there they decide whether or not you need to stay in the hospital for a few days or if you can go home." Joyce glanced at Buffy before speaking again. "Buffy, I love you. I just want to get you some help. I'm not mad at you. Just concerned. I wish you would have told me."

A few minutes later Buffy was sitting in a doctors office in the emergency room. A woman came in with a clip board in her hand. She started asking Buffy questions and wrote down everything Buffy said.

Joyce and Dawn sat in two chairs across from Buffy. When the doctor rolled Buffy's sleeve back to look at her cuts Dawn winced. That was the first time she saw Buffy's wounds. She couldn't believe her sister did something like that to herself.

After the doctor was finished she left and said she had to call Dr. Robinson to see if Buffy needed to stay or not.

She came back 10 minutes later.

"Dr. Robinson thinks you should stay." Buffy stood up and shook her head.

"No, I'm not staying here. I can't. I don't belong here. Mom, take me home. I can't stay here. Don't let me stay here. Please! Mom, please!" Buffy begged her mother as endless tears poured from her eyes.

"Buffy, you have to stay, the doctor..."

"Screw the doctor! Please! Mom! Take me home! I promise I won't hurt myself anymore. Please take me home!"

Two men entered the room and tried to restrain Buffy but she kept kicking and screaming.

"You can't leave me here! Please! Mom! Take me home! Please! Mom!"

Joyce's eyes filled with tears as she watched her daughter being dragged away.

* * *

**Authors Note:** I know a lot of you want to see Spuffy soon but you'll have to wait awhile. Sorry! Buffy is only 16 and I'm not planning on turning Spike into a pedophile anytime soon. Right now Buffy has some issues she needs to deal with. And don't worry, the story is far from over. 


	9. The Hospital

**Authors Note:** I honestly tried to update this story faster but every time I started writing this chapter I couldn't finish. I'd type five words then I'd completely give up. So I finally forced myself to finish this chapter.

* * *

Buffy sat at a white round table in medium sized office. Joyce sat to her left and Dawn at her right, across from her was a tall thin woman with long curly red hair and blue eyes. A name tag on her right shoulder read 'Tammy'. 

Joyce handed Tammy a paper she was asked to fill out. Tammy skimmed over the paper then began talking. "Well, I think we're all done here. Buffy will stay here for three days for observation. Unless we feel she needs to be kept here longer. The average teenager stays for three days, sometimes longer and rarely ever shorter. If you have any questions please ask me now."

Joyce nodded her head and spoke in a shaky upset voice, "Buffy can call home whenever she wants?"

"No. She can only call between 7pm to 9pm on Weekdays and 5pm to 9pm on weekends."

"I see. Can I call her anytime or do the same rules apply?"

"We prefer you call during those hours. If there is an emergency, you can call whenever."

* * *

A few minutes later Joyce, Dawn, Tammy and Buffy stood outside of the office saying their goodbyes. 

Joyce gave Buffy a hug but Buffy shoved her away.

"How could you take me here? I'm not crazy! I don't belong here. You want to get rid of me so you send me here?" A tear ran down her cheek and Joyce's heart ached.

Joyce started to wonder if the doctor was right to leave her here. She felt like holding Buffy in her arms and telling her she could go home. But she knew Buffy had to stay here. Buffy needed to get help. Buffy was dealing with some things that she couldn't fix.

She started questioning whether or not she was a good parent. Shouldn't she have known sooner? Did Buffy not trust her enough to let her know something was going on? Did Buffy try to tell her but she pushed her away? She couldn't help thinking she could have prevented this from happening.

She also wondered if Buffy would ever forgive her for this and realize this is the only way she can help her. She felt as if any minute she would collapse to the ground and breakdown.

But she had to be strong. For Dawn. Dawn is also her daughter. She couldn't imagine what Dawn must be going through.

Witnessing all the fighting and abuse. Being kidnapped. Watching her sister be locked away in a mental hospital for cutting herself. Who knows how much this is hurting her.

* * *

Tammy walked Buffy over to the adolescent floor. There was a steel door with a number and keypad lock. Tammy punched in a 6 digit number then took out a key. 

A few seconds later the door opened, Tammy and Buffy entered a small hallway with two doors on either side. And another steel door in front of them. This door had a number lock, key lock and ID lock.

After Tammy opened the door she turned towards Buffy.

"It's for the safety of the kids here. They can't escape and anyone who isn't permitted in this part of the building can't enter."

Buffy nodded her head and entered the room.

It was a big square room. Blue carpeting and off-white walls. There was one door next to the entrance that said 'Private' on it. And further down there were two rooms next to each other. The doors were wide open. Both rooms were all blue and each had one bed in it. It looked like there were cuffs to restraint whoever was on the bed. On the wall above the doors the words 'Time Out Room' was written.

After Buffy and Tammy passed those two doors there was a closet on their right. To the left there were three big comfy chairs sitting in front of a TV. Next to that was a group of five tables with six chairs to each table. A small refrigerator was sitting behind the tables.

A nursing station was near the tables. Four women and two men were behind the counter to the nurse's station.

On the opposite side of the nurses station was another TV and Two chairs, one couch. Two teenage boys were sitting in their own chair, talking.

On the other side of the room, five rooms were next to each other. And closet separated those five rooms with another five rooms.

Some of the doors were open and some shut. Buffy looked at one of the rooms that was open. Two beds were on opposite sides of the room and a desk is next to each bed.

Tammy pointed to a room next to the refrigerator.

"That's the rest room. When you're not in your room you use the restroom out here."

Buffy nodded her head then Tammy led her to a room behind one of the chairs a boy was sitting in. She opened the door and walked inside.

The room had yellow walls and no carpeting. The floors were made of white tiles. A group of chairs were in a circle.

There were three chairs against the wall of the right side of the room. A table with 6 chairs was at the left side of the room.

* * *

Buffy sat at one the tables when a man walked over to her with a folder in his hand. He sat next to her and opened the folder. 

He pulled out a paper with a drawing of a person from the front view and another one from the back.

"Hi Buffy. I'm Greg. I have to ask you a few questions then give you a few papers to fill out."

Buffy nodded her head.

"First I need to ask you if you've ever been here before?"

"No."

"Have you ever been in a treatment facility?"

"No."

"Have you been ever been physically or sexually abused?"

Buffy looked down and her heart started racing.

She shook her head. "N-no."

"Okay. Now I need to ask you to show me your cuts so I can draw them on this paper."

He showed her the paper with the drawing of a person.

"We have to mark down each cut you have and draw it on this person so we know where you have cuts and scars. This is just in case you cut yourself here. Everyday you will be checked to see if there are any new cuts on your body."

Although Buffy didn't like the idea of someone looking at her body everyday she nodded her head.

Buffy showed him every cut and scar she has on her body. He drew the cuts on the person on the paper exactly where the cuts on Buffy's body were. After he was finished he pulled out a packet and placed in front of Buffy.

"This is something you do in your free time. There will be questions about yourself and self strategies to help you from cutting yourself. You should do a few pages a day because around dinner time you are asked to show your packet to one of the staff. You can not leave here until each page is filled out."

Buffy nodded her head and he pulled out a few more papers.

"Here is a list of the schedule around here." He placed a yellow paper in front of her.

"Around 5am a doctor will come into your room to check your vitals and ask you a few questions. That is only for the first day. After that your vitals will be checked by a staff member at 8am. Everyone wakes up at 7:30am to do their hygiene. Hygiene is washing your face, brushing your teeth and doing any other personal things to keep yourself clean. At 8:30am everyone eats breakfast. Boys and girls are not allowed to sit together. You can only sit at a table with other females. After that is group. You will be assigned a group. There are three different groups. The first one is for children 14 and younger. The other two are 14 to 18 year olds. The people you are with in group will change often. Every day you are with a different group of kids. Two or three of them will most likely be the same. After group is free time in your room. You have to stay in your room. You cannot come out. If you have a question for one of the staff members you have to stand in the door way and wait for them to call on you. After free time is activity time. You either go to the gym downstairs or stay up here and do an activity with your group. It could be art or even watching TV. After that is lunch. After lunch you have another free time. That is when the afternoon staff comes in. You have another group. More free time. Dinner. After dinner you and your roommate are to stay in your rooms until you each take a shower. There is one bathroom in each room. The bathrooms are always locked. Only staff members can unlock them when you need to take a shower. After you and your roommate are finished, you come out here and watch TV. While you watch TV everyone is called one at a time for their meds. Since you're not on any medication you won't be called. However, when you meet the doctor tomorrow morning he may prescribe you some medication. After everyone is finished with their meds you can get desert.

At 10pm the kids 13 and younger go to bed. At 10:30pm the kids 14-15 go to bed. And at 11:00pm the kids 16-18 go to bed."

Buffy nodded her head even though she was a little confused.

"Do you have any questions about the schedule?"

Buffy shook her head.

"Alright. Right now everyone is at group. It's almost free time then dinner. Free time is an hour long. So, why don't I get you a room and when everyone gets back you can meet your new room mate. I think I'm going to put you with Ryeshia. Ryeshia is 16 years old and she arrived her late last night."

* * *

A few minutes later Buffy was sitting on her bed. A teenage girl who she assumed was Ryeshia came into the room. 

"You just get here?"

Buffy nodded her head.

* * *

For the entire hour Buffy and Ryeshia were talking. They got along great and had a lot in common. Ryeshia came here because she got into a fight with her mom and trashed their house. She threw tables and chairs around the house. And she broke a few things. 

At dinner Buffy was introduced to everyone. She couldn't believe the people that were in here. They all seemed so normal and friendly. Each person had their own reason for being here.

Buffy realized everyone has problems, even people who seem really normal. The popular kids, the jocks...everyone.

The only person who seemed a little off was a girl named Shana. She didn't talk much; Buffy figured it was because she was shy. Something about her didn't seem right. Buffy didn't know what it was but something was definitely wrong with her.

* * *

After everyone was finished with their showers they went to the TV and took a seat. 

Everyone had to go to the TV with the three big chairs around it. Two girls and one boy took the chairs and everyone else had to use a chair from the tables.

They watched, 'Like Mike'.

After the movie was over, Buffy, Ryeshia, Ashley, Stephanie, Bryan, Tyler and Austin took a seat at a table and started talking and playing cards.

Shana sat at a table by herself with her head down and looked very depressed.

* * *

Buffy laid in her bed, unable to sleep. 

She wondered what tomorrow would be like.

* * *

**Authors note:** This chapter isn't that great and it was supposed to be much longer. It was also supposed to be more descriptive. The second part of this chapter is just going to be the next chapter now since I didn't feel like typing anymore. I will TRY to post the next chapter either tonight or tomorrow. 


	10. The Hospital part 2

**I'm so sorry for not updating this sooner. I've been extremely busy the past two months. I hope none of you have lost interest in this story. I'll try to update more frequently.**

* * *

A loud scream echoed throughout the building. Buffy's eyes shot open, she looked around the darkened room but couldn't see anything. Another scream. Buffy sat up in the bed she was assigned to when checking into the mental hospital.

"NO! Daddy help me! Get your hands off me! Don't leave me here dad! Please! Let me go! Dad! Help me!"

Buffy listened as the words from a young female echoed in the room. She could see the girl in her head, begging her father not to leave her here. Just as Buffy had done with her mother. Memories from the day her mother left her rushed back to her.

She felt betrayed when her mother left her here. It wasn't like this place could help her, they couldn't destroy the memories of her step father or return her innocence. No one could stop the pain she felt. No one even knew the amount of pain she feels. No one could possibly understand what life's like for her. They haven't lived her life. They haven't seen everything she has or witnessed the beatings.

The pain she felt was physical. It hurt to breathe, to live. She screams inside her head, no one else can hear her screams or feel her pain.

The more she kept to herself the harder it became to live. Some days she would pray to God to take her life away. She would beg Him to end her pain and set her free of the endless memories of abuse and rape. She didn't have the courage to do it herself so she begged Him. Even hoped a serial killer would appear out of no where and kill her.

A scream interrupted Buffy from her thoughts. Whoever this girl was, she wasn't going to stop screaming for her father anytime soon. The high pitched screams were starting to give Buffy a headache. Wasn't the staff going to do something about this? They can't let her yell and scream all night. Suddenly the screaming ceased.

Buffy laid back down and tried to fall asleep. She knew it wasn't long until it was time to wake up.

* * *

At 5am a nurse entered the room Buffy was sleeping in. She stood next to Buffy's bed and gently touched her shoulder.

"Buffy, honey? Time to wake up. The doctor is here to see you."

Buffy moaned and opened her eyes. She sat up in her bed then threw the blankets off of her petite body.

The nurse led Buffy outside of the room. The main room was dim and quiet. Three staff members were walking around. Two staff members were working on paper work. There was a handsome Asian man sitting at one of the tables.

The nurse motioned for Buffy to take a seat across from the man. Buffy sat down and nervously looked at the man.

"Hello Buffy. How did you sleep?" The man spoke with a Chinese accent.

"Okay."

"I know it's still early and you're probably tired but I need to ask you a few questions to determine the length of your stay and whether or not you need medication."

Buffy nodded her head but didn't feel like answering anymore questions. All she wanted to do was sleep.

"Well, let's get started. I'm Dr. Lee. I'm a psychiatrist. I'll check on you throughout the day and tomorrow."

Dr. Lee opened up a folder and took out a sheet of paper. He placed the paper in front of himself and wrote down Buffy's full name.

"I know how often you must've been asked this question and are probably tired of people asking you but I have to." Buffy knew the question he was about to ask, everyone here as asked her the same question over and over again. "Why are you here Buffy?"

Buffy took a deep breath and stared at her hands in her lap. "I-I, um, I cut myself." Buffy glanced at the doctor as he wrote down what she said.

"Can you tell me why you cut yourself?"

Buffy shook her head. "I don't know. I guess I've been a little depressed lately."

"What's going on in your life that's making you depressed?"

"Um, I don't know. Nothing. I just...I just feel...depressed."

"For no reason?"

Buffy nodded her head.

Dr. Lee studied Buffy's face and could tell she was hiding something. Buffy could feel his eyes burning into her, which made her uncomfortable. Sensing her uneasiness, Dr. Lee continued with the questioning.

"Who do you live with?"

"My mom and my younger sister."

"Do you have any problems with your mother or sister?"

"Umm...No, not really. We all get along."

"Do you have a boyfriend or sexual partner?"

Buffy shook her head.

"Do you or have you ever done illegal drugs?"

"No."

Dr. Lee lowered his voice to almost a whisper and leaned into the table. "Listen, Buffy. I need you to be completely honest with me. You can trust me. I'm here to help you."

Buffy looked into his eyes and saw concern and kindness in them. He reminded her of Spike in a way.

"Has anyone hurt you? Or forced you to do something you didn't want to?"

Buffy looked back at her hands and shook her head. How long can she keep doing this? How long can she keep pretending she lived a normal life? How can anyone know what's going on if she doesn't start telling the truth?

She's too ashamed of her past and afraid people will judge her. It's too embarrassing to tell anyone what Ted did to her. What if they look at her and think she is disgusting? She should have prevented the whole thing from happening.

Maybe if she doesn't talk about it, it will be like it never happened. Maybe one day she'll forget everything. As long as she doesn't talk about it, it might go away. The memories might someday vanish if she keeps pretending nothing happened with Ted.

Dr. Lee leaned back in his chair and asked a few more questions. Once they were finished a nurse took her vitals and told her she can go back to sleep. Buffy didn't see the point in going back to bed since it was a little past 6am now. But she went back anyway.

* * *

At 8:20am Buffy and Ryeshia walked out of their room and took a seat at a table. Buffy overheard Ashley asking the staff who was screaming really early in the morning. They didn't answer her question, only told her to sit down and wait for breakfast. Ashley took a seat next to Buffy.

"Did you guys hear that girl screaming last night? That bitch woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep." Ashley asked Buffy and Ryeshia.

Ryeshia shook her head. "Nah, I didn't hear anything, it was probably Shana. That girl is crazy."

Buffy spoke up. "I heard it. I think it was a new girl. She was begging her dad not to leave her here."

"I'm guessing that's her." Ashley nodded her head towards a girl being escorted out of a room.

That girl looked young, younger than most of the other girls here. Probably 13 years old. She had light brown hair pulled back into a bun with a few strands of hair across her forehead. She had an angry expression on her face and clearly didn't want to be there.

Buffy watched as Dr. Lee approached the girl and asked her to come with him. He led her into a room labeled 'private' on the door then closed the door behind them.

Ashley yawned and leaned back in her chair.

"Girls, you can get your breakfast now." A staff member called out to the three girls sitting at the table from behind the nurses station.

Each girl stood up and walked over to the tray with plates of food on the other side of the room.

Buffy grabbed a plate which had eggs, bacon, sausage and toast on it. She also grabbed a fork and orange juice.

Five minutes later everyone except the new girl were sitting at tables and eating their breakfast. A woman walked over to Buffy's table and tapped Buffy on the shoulder.

"Your mother is visiting today. She will be here after first group." Buffy looked up at the kind faced woman and smiled.

"Okay. Thanks."

* * *

At group everyone including the new girl sat at a long gray table. Mrs. Edison was in charge of group this time. Mrs. Edison had a reputation for being a bitch. She felt no pity for others and believed no one else was to blame for their mistakes, they were the cause of their own problems. She always told everyone that no one can force a person to behave the way they do, its an act of choice. You choose how you behave and handle situations.

She was also very strict and made sure everyone followed the rules. No one was allowed to speak unless called upon. No one was aloud to move from their chairs unless told to do so. She doesn't allow the patients to converse with each other about anything other than the reason they are here. You are here to get help, not socialize.

Mrs. Edison took a seat and looked around the table. "I see two new faces this morning. Buffy Summers and Amber McLean."

Buffy hadn't met Mrs. Edison yet because she had arrived late afternoon yesterday. Although she hadn't been introduced to Mrs. Edison, she heard stories about how mean and unfair she was.

"When did you arrive, Miss Summers?"

Buffy shyly replied. "Yesterday evening."

"Roll up your sleeve."

Buffy gave her a questioning look.

"Come on. I ain't got all day, Miss Summers."

Buffy became very shy and nervous but did as Mrs. Edison asked. She slowly began to roll up her sleeve. Everyone around the table was staring at Buffy. She didn't want anyone to see her scars and wondered why Mrs. Edison would command her roll up her sleeve for everyone to see her self-destruction.

Mrs. Edison grabbed Buffy's arm in a firm grip and examined the cuts. She gave a disgusted look.

"Why would you do this to yourself?" Mrs. Edison asked in a disapproving tone.

"I-I don't know."

"Yes you do. You do things for a reason, not for the hell of it. Now why did you do this?"

Buffy shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.

Mrs. Edison looked at her like she was a moron.

"I want you to write a four paragraph paper on why you cut yourself during your free time."

Before Buffy could respond Mrs. Edison started talking to Amber.

"When did you get here, Miss McLean?"

"Three A.M."

"I heard you made quite a scene and gave the staff a hard time. Even punched a nurse in the jaw?" Mrs. Edison gave Amber a glare.

"She deserved it." Amber casually replied.

Mrs. Edison raised her eyebrow and spoke with attitude. "Excuse me?"

"I told that bitch not to lay a fucking finger on me. She practically begged to get hit."

"I don't know who you think you are young lady. You do not use those words, you hear me? When you speak to an adult you treat them with respect. You do not threaten nor hit anyone while in this hospital. You are under our rules now. Your momma may not have taught you manners and might accept your attitude but I will not. You understand me?"

Amber rolled her eyes. "No."

Buffy couldn't believe this girl. What was wrong with her? All she had to do was pretend to understand to save herself from getting into anymore trouble.

"What did you say?"

Amber pushed back her chair and stood up. "I said no!"

Mrs. Edison also stood up and she opened the door and called for assistance. A tall Hispanic security guard entered the room. Mrs. Edison told him Amber wasn't behaving and needed to go into the time out room. The man had to practically drag Amber out and she went kicking and screaming.

* * *

Once group was over everyone went to their rooms. Buffy laid on her bed and Ryeshia sat at one of the desks.

There was a knock on the door and both girls saw a nurse standing in the doorframe.

"Buffy, your mother is here."

Buffy stood up and walked over to the nurse who led her outside of the main room and into the guest room. Buffy was a little glad her mother was there. Maybe she could get her out of this insane place.

When Buffy entered the room she saw her mother sitting at a table with another man.

Once Buffy got a closer look she noticed the other man was her father. Her real father.

"Dad!"

"Hey Buffy."

"Oh my god. What are you doing here?"

"I came her to see you. To see how my girl was doing."

"Well, apparently not very well considering I'm in a mental hospital." Buffy joked with her father.

Her father nodded his head and stood up. He gave her a hug and whispered into her ear. "It's good to see you again. I missed you."

"I missed you too, dad."

"Well, take a seat. Let's talk."

Buffy sat in a chair across from her mother and father. Joyce spoke first. "How are you doing, Buff? Are you alright?"

Buffy nodded her head and smiled.

"I'm fine." Buffy laughed then shook her head. "Who am I kidding? I'm not fine. I'm tired of pretending. I feel terrible and I want to go home."

"Buffy, I'm sorry but you need to get help first before you can leave this place."

"Mom, I don't belong here. I'm nothing like these people. I can't get better when I'm here. I need to be home. With you, with Dawn." Buffy noticed her sister wasn't there.

"Where's Dawn?"

"With a friend. But Buffy, I hate to see you in here, I really do but it's for the best."

Buffy raised her voice. "For who? Who is it best for? You? So you don't have to put up with me for a few days?"

"Buffy, you know that is not true. I love you and want to see you well again."

"Sorry to inform you but I'll never be the same as before. Ted changed everything."

Buffy's eyes filled with tears and she looked away from her parents.

Joyce sighed. "Honey, I'm sorry you had to see Ted angry. I know how difficult it is for you but we have to move on. Ted isn't going to hurt us anymore."

"That's what you said last time. Before we moved to California. But he came back and he hurt us."

Buffy's father looked confused. "Us? I thought he only hurt Joyce."

Joyce faced Buffy's father. "Physically, he hurt only me. But he still hurt the girls. They had to witness his anger and yelling."

_If only you knew the truth, mother._ Buffy thought.

Buffy's dad held her hands in his. "Buffy, I need to know something." Buffy sighed. How many times are people going to ask her this question today? "Why? Why are you doing this, Buffy?"

Buffy slipped her hands out of her fathers. "Dad. I-I...I honestly don't know."

"Buffy, this isn't normal. No one does this. There has to be a reason."

"There is no reason. And yes, other people do this. Lots of people do this. It's becoming more and more common each year."

"And that makes it alright? Other people are cutting themselves so it makes it alright for you to do it as well?"

Buffy sighed. "I didn't say that. I just said I'm not the only one."

"You're justifying your reason for doing this, like it's something out of the ordinary."

"No, I'm not, dad. I told you the only reason I said that was because I'm not the only person who cuts. It isn't uncommon."

"And again you're giving yourself excuses and claiming there is no reason to be concerned about your behavior because everyone is doing it."

Buffy rolled her eyes and began to get agitated. "What? I never said everyone was doing it. Just that I'm not the only one."

Buffy's dad became angry as well. "Buffy, I do not need your excuses for acting crazy. Are you trying to embarrass me? Embarrass your mother and sister? Do you know what you are doing to this family? How you're making us look? I don't want my friends feeling sorry for me because I have an insane daughter. I want you to start acting normal again."

Joyce tried to calm him down but he ignored her. "Are you doing this for attention? Do you want people to pity you or talk behind your back? Do you have any idea what the children at your school would do if they found out they had a psycho as a fellow classmate?"

Joyce grabbed his arm. "Stop it! Buffy is not crazy. She has some problems she needs to deal with and yelling at her like this isn't going to help."

"Why do you always do this Joyce? Go against me to make me look like the bad guy and you the savior? This girl needs some discipline; you can't keep babying her every time she has a mental breakdown because everyone won't pay attention to her. She's an attention seeker."

Hot tears rolled down Buffy's cheeks. Everyone was blaming her. Imagine how they would act if they found out about Ted. They'd probably wish she were dead. No one could stand her. No one wanted her. To her father she was just a big disappointment. Her own father is ashamed of her.

Joyce started getting annoyed. "I've had enough of this, Hank. You can't come here and call Buffy names when you haven't been around for the past five years."

"And whose fault was that, Joyce? You're the one that moved to Nebraska. You knew you could have stayed in Ohio after the divorce so I could see my children. You wanted to make me look like the bad guy. And it's your fault she's in here in the first place. Look how you raised her. It's obvious you have absolutely no idea what you're doing. You don't know the first thing about raising a child properly. Buffy is proof of that."

"Oh, and suddenly you became an expert on children? You could have easily picked up a phone and called them once and awhile. You've talked them three times a year at most. You were probably too busy screwing that woman you cheated on me with. You can't even get a decent relationship so don't tell me I'm a bad mother."

"A decent relationship? You think you've had a decent relationship? Miss I let my new husband treat me like a punching bag."

Buffy grabbed her hair and started rocking back and forth as more tears poured from her eyes.

"Stop it! Just stop it! I can't stand this anymore!" Buffy yelled as loud as she could.

Joyce and her father stopped yelling and looked at Buffy. The door swung open and Dr. Lee entered the room.

"Is there a problem here?"

Buffy stopped rocking and released her hair. She stood up and glared at her parents.

"I know I'm some kind of disappointment to you, dad. But I can't change who I am. I'm not perfect. And neither are you. I'm sorry if you wish I were a completely different person. But I'm not going to be someone I'm not. I can't make you change your mind about me or love me but please try to accept me for who I am. That's all I'm asking of you. To please be supportive and try to help me instead of referring to me as crazy and insane. To you I'm the worst daughter there ever was." More tears come pouring from her eyes and her voice became unstable and not easy to understand. "I don't know what it was that I did to make you hate me so much. I must be a pretty awful person if my own father hates me. I don't know what to do to make you love me or even want me. I hope someday I will meet someone who loves me for me. Not because they have to." Buffy glanced at her mother. "But because they want to."

Buffy pushed past the doctor and crowd of people standing near the door. She walked to her room and fell onto her bed. She began to sob into the pillow.

Ryeshia was immediately concerned and sat on the edge of Buffy's bed. She gently touched her back. Buffy stopped crying and sat up. She looked into Ryeshias eyes then leaned against her. Ryeshia gave her a hug then patted her back.

"It's okay. Everything will be fine."

Dr. Lee walked into the room to see Ryeshia consoling Buffy. He decided to let her be. Buffy needed a friend right now. He planned on talking to her about what just happened later.


	11. Released

**Wow, I am so very sorry that it took me over a year to update. There are no excuses. I am ashamed. **

**I wrote the next few chapters over a year ago, I just didn't post them yet. I'll upload one chapter everyday. I hope no one has lost interest in this story! And, by the way, this is going to be a VERY long story. **

**The sentences in italic are Buffy's thoughts.**

* * *

Ryeshia comforted Buffy until she was forced by Mrs. Edison to leave for the second group today. Mrs. Edison allowed Buffy to stay in her room until she was ready to join her group.

Buffy finally calmed down after 20 minutes of letting out loud, uncontrollable sobs. She was lying on her stomach and her right hand was clenched around the corner her pillow. After lying still for 2 minutes, she decided to join the group. She lifted herself up with her elbows and sat in the center of her temporary twin sized bed. Buffy wiped away the tears on her cheeks before climbing off of the bed.

A million thoughts raced through Buffy's mind as she exited her room; most of them revolving around her father. _Why does he have to be such a jerk? Why can't he accept me for the way I am? Does he even love me anymore? Does he only care about the family reputation? _

Her situation wasn't easy and it didn't help that her own father made her feel worthless. All he did was add to her pain.

"Miss Summers, will you please join me over here for a moment?" Buffy heard Dr. Lee call out to her from a table across the room.

She honestly did not feel like discussing what happened in the visitation room. All she wanted to do was make it through the day without any discussions about her problems and her dad.

Buffy made her way towards Dr. Lee and stopped walking once she approached the table.

"Take a seat." Dr. Lee requested in an undemanding, friendly way.

Buffy pulled out a blue chair across from Dr. Lee and sat down.

Dr. Lee opened a manila folder and took out a piece of paper. He looked directly into her eyes and started speaking. "As you know, you were scheduled to remain in this hospital for at least two more days, however, I had a conference with your parents and I came to the conclusion that this may not be the best place for you." Dr. Lee paused and waited for Buffy's reaction.

Buffy gave him a confused look then finally asked, "What do you mean? Am I going somewhere else?"

Dr. Lee shook his head. "Your mom told me about your recent move to Sunnydale and her separation from your step father."

Buffy gulped and her heartbeat slightly increased. _What exactly did my mom say about Ted? Did she tell him what happened? If not, is he going to ask me questions about why my mom left him?_

Dr. Lee continued speaking. "After analyzing the situation, I concluded that you are having a difficult time adjusting to California and your new lifestyle. You don't appear to be suicidal and I am assuming the self-mutilation started no more than two weeks ago. However, since you have started cutting yourself and you do show symptoms of depression, it is mandatory that you start going to therapy twice a week."

Buffy nodded her head, even though she was still confused.

Dr. Lee picked up the piece of paper of him and placed it in front of Buffy. Buffy looked over the paper while Dr. Lee spoke.

"You will be released today. We are placing you in our outpatient program for five days, starting tomorrow and ending Friday. Instead of going to school for the week, you will be come to this hospital from 8am to 3pm."

Buffy looked up at Dr. Lee and made direct eye contact.

"Basically all you have to do is go to therapy for a few hours. Don't worry; you won't have to sit and talk for hours. You'll be with a group the entire time and you'll do therapeutic activities. All the information about our outpatient program is on that piece of paper. If you have any questions, let me know." Dr. Lee stopped talking and waited for Buffy to say something.

"I understand everything now."

Dr. Lee smiled at her and stood up from his seat. "Great. It was nice meeting you, Buffy. I wish you a great week and I hope you feel better soon."

"I'm not going to see you again?" Buffy asked as Dr. Lee gathered all of his belongings into his arms.

"I might check up on you a couple times during the week."

Buffy nodded her head and Dr. Lee extended his hand out to her. Buffy shook his hand and then stood up.

"Oh, wait. You said something about going to a therapist twice a week?"

"Yes. You will see a therapist outside of the hospital, after you finish the outpatient program. You and your mom can choose any therapist you want, after you found one, your mom will give us her or his name and we will contact the therapist to let her/him know everything."

Buffy gave him a weak smile, "Oh, okay."

"I'll let you out of here." Dr. Lee walked away from the table and signaled for Buffy to follow him. "Your parents are waiting."

Buffy made a sudden halt after he said parents. _Did he say parents? Does that mean my dad is still here as well? I don't want to face him. Please, don't let him be here._

Dr. Lee glanced behind, "You coming or would you rather stay here?"

Buffy snapped out of it and caught up with Dr. Lee. "No, no. I'm coming." She stayed silent for about 30 seconds then decided to ask him, "Um, is my dad here too?"

"I believe so. He may have left already but I think he stuck around." Dr. Lee opened the door and let Buffy walk through first.

The first thing she saw was Hank leaning against a wall with his arms folded over his chest. Buffy gave a frustrated sigh and walked over to him.

"Where is my mom?"

Hank looked over at Buffy. "She went to pick up Dawn. She wants meet us at the house."

Unfortunately for Buffy, the wrong parent left.

They left the hospital in silence after Hank spoke to Dr. Lee for a few minutes. Hank walked Buffy over to his rented car and she slid into the passenger front seat without a word. Hank wanted to say something to Buffy but he didn't know how to start. He wasn't sure how to speak to her without hurting her. He was never good with words when it came to comforting an upset woman. Hank started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

After 10 minutes of silence Hank finally made up his mind and decided to speak to his daughter.

"Buffy, I…" Buffy was startled by her father's voice because he spoke so suddenly. "I want to apologize for my behavior earlier. You can't possibly imagine how bad I feel for upsetting you. I regret everything I said." Hank was visibly shaking and obviously nervous but he continued speaking anyway.

"You're my daughter, Buffy. I love you. I want you to know that." Hank took his eyes off the road and looked toward his daughter. "You do know that, don't you, Buffy?"

Buffy nodded her head and Hank put his attention back on the road.

"You have to understand, this isn't easy for me. Seeing you in that place, I mean. It's difficult for a father to see his child locked away is some hospital. You're my daughter. Mine. You're my little girl." Buffy watched her father in amazement. _Is he really saying this? _"I feel somewhat responsible for this mess. Maybe if I had paid more attention to you, and your sister. Maybe if I had been a good husband, and father, none of this would have happened. Your mom, she's an amazing woman, Buffy. Just amazing. I loved her, just so you know, I loved your mother. I want you to know that. I know I didn't show but I did, I loved her. I screwed things up with her, Buff. She walked out on me." Buffy wasn't sure but she thought she saw her fathers eyes fill with tears.

"Buffy, I won't make the same mistake with you. I can't let you walk out on me. I won't stand by and watch someone I love walk away again. I can't lose you." A single tear slid down Hanks cheek. Buffy knew she wasn't imagining it now.

"Dad…" Buffy spoke softly. "I…I'm…" Hank pulled the car over to the side of the road. He turned the car off and listened to the sound of speeding cars pass by.

Buffy didn't speak. She just watched her dad. Hank Summers has always been known as a 'mans man'. He was brave, strong and certainly not emotional. In 16 years, Buffy has never seen Hank show any emotion other than anger and disappointment. Watching this grown man cry was like seeing pigs fly. Unbelievable and shocking.

Hank turned toward Buffy. "I just don't get it, Buffy. I don't understand why you're doing this to yourself. Why are you hurting yourself? You're also hurting your mom, your sister…and me. I don't…I don't know what I would do if I lost you…if I woke up one day, and heard you were…gone. It scares me because one day you could cut a little too deep, a little too much. It almost killed me to hear about what you did to yourself. Your mom…she called me at work. I knew from the sound of her voice, I knew that something was wrong. She said you were in the hospital…and I…" Another tear dropped from Hanks eye. Buffy started crying as well.

"I'm sorry dad." Hank pulled his daughter into a tight embrace.

"Promise me. Promise me it's over. Please, don't do this again, Buffy."

Buffy didn't say a word. Hank and Buffy sat in silence, still holding onto each other.

After a couple minutes, Hank pulled away.

Hank whipped the tears from Buffys' cheek. "Let's get you home." Buffy nodded in agreement.

"And don't tell your mother you saw me cry."

Buffy laughed, "It'll be our little secret."

Hank started the car back up and headed towards the place Buffy now called home.


	12. Welcome Home

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! **

* * *

Hank pulled into the driveway. Buffy looked around and noticed that her moms' car wasn't there. _Maybe she is on her way home with Dawn right now? She probably left just a couple minutes before us to pick up Dawn. _

Buffy unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door. She stepped out of the car and took a deep breath. _Freedom. _It felt so good to be outside. It felt as though she had been trapped in that place for eternity, even though she was there less than 24 hours.

Buffy walked over to Hank as he was stepping out of the car. "So, how long are you staying in Sunnydale?" Buffy asked as the two walked to the front door.

Hank glanced at Buffy, "My flight leaves tonight."

"Oh." Buffy lowered her head and she felt somewhat…disappointed. She wasn't sad or mad, only disappointed. She didn't know why she thought that her dad would stick around for a couple days. He was never around much. Even when she lived with him, he was always gone. He worked and traveled a lot. He usually came home after Buffy was already asleep; and left before she woke up.

That was the reason why Buffy doubted that her father truly cared about her. He never said or did anything to show that he wanted to spend time with her; he was never around to show it. Today was the first time in 14 years he said, 'I love you', to her. The last time she remembered hearing him say those three words to her was when she was two years old. Actually, it wasn't even a memory. It was on a home video.

Buffy was tempted to beg him to stay longer but she decided against it because she already knew what his answer would be. '_I'm sorry, honey, I can't stay. I promise we can do something together another time'. _That's what he always says. He must've broken over 500 promises to her.

Buffy stood in front of the door and twisted the knob but it was locked. She looked at Hank. "Did mom give you a key?"

Hank shook his head. "No. Locked, huh?"

Buffy nodded and sighed, "Yep."

Hank also sighed. "Well, I'm sure she will be here soon."

Joyce pulled into the driveway before Buffy could respond.

Buffy whispered to herself, "Right on time."

Joyce and Dawn open their doors at the same time. Joyce jumped out of the car and flashed a huge smile. Buffy couldn't see Dawns face but she saw her grab her 'traveling bag' out of the car and sling the strap over her shoulder. Dawn calls her pink book bag a 'traveling bag' because she uses it to carry an outfit and a couple of books when she travels. Buffy assumed that she spent the night over a friends' house.

Joyce gave Buffy a welcoming hug. "Welcome home, baby."

* * *

**I know this chapter is very short. It was much longer but I have two different versions of this chapter, the part I posted is the same in both versions but I didn't decide which version I want to use yet so I'm going to post the rest later. You can help me decide which version to post, in the first one: Hank leaves when he is supposed to and in the second version, he stays longer than intended. I didn't spoil anything but the amount of time Hank spends with Buffy will affect the story. So, let me know which one you think I should use!**


	13. Farewell Father

**A/N: I am so sorry for not updating yesterday. I wasn't home yesterday, after school I went straight to the mall with some friends and my mom was too tired to pick me up so I spent the night at a friends house and I just got home. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I appreciate the people who take some time to review! It means a lot, thanks!**

* * *

"Hey Dawn." Buffy greeted her sister but Dawn didn't seem to acknowledge her.

Dawn walked past Buffy without even looking at her. She knew that ignoring Buffy wouldn't make her feel better about this situation but she didn't know how to talk to Buffy anymore. She wasn't sure what to say. She thought she would probably make it worse by trying to talk to her.

Buffy watched Dawn unlock the front door and hurry inside. Dawn slammed the door shut behind her and ran up the stairs.

"She's not feeling too well." Joyce said in hopes of making Buffy feel better about Dawns attitude.

Buffy stared at the front door. "Sure."

Hank awkwardly tried to change the subject, "So, how about some lunch?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and Joyce opened the door. Hank, Joyce and Buffy attempted to enter the house at the same time and ended up tripping over each other. Buffy managed to gently push past her parents and she walked into the house.

Buffy heard a noise upstairs and her thoughts instantly went to Dawn. "I'm going to take a nap," Buffy lied.

Buffy crept up the stairs and cautiously tip toed over to Dawns bedroom door without her noticing. Buffy stopped once she approached the entranceway the bedroom. She peaked inside and saw Dawn sitting in the middle of the floor, throwing clothes out of her pink bag. Buffy was about to enter the room but changed her mind when she heard Dawn mutter, "Stupid Buffy. I was going to spend all weekend with my friends but nooo, Buffy had to come home. Buffy this, Buffy that. Gah!"

Buffy leaned her back against the wall, next to her sisters bedroom door. She slowly slid down toward the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her head between her legs and chest. _My sister hates me. How could I let this happen? I thought she would understand. _Buffy tightly shut her eyes as tears began to seep through. _What am I doing? I have to stop crying. Just stop it, Buffy. Come on. Stop crying. Get up and act like an adult. Pull yourself together. Come on. _A voice inside of her urged her to stop crying and talk to Dawn.

After she finally convinced herself to speak to Dawn, she slowly stood up and took a deep breath. She wiped away any tears left on her face and peaked inside the room again. Buffy lightly knocked on the wood trim around the doorway.

Dawn jerked her head behind her and saw Buffy standing directly underneath her doorway.

"Hey Dawn." Buffy took a few steps inside the bedroom and Dawn stood up and walked over to the other side of the room. Dawn faced a corner and folded her arms over her chest.

"What do you want, Buffy?" Dawn asked with a slight tremble in her voice.

Buffy stood only five feet behind Dawn, "I just want to talk."

Dawn turned around and faced her sister, "About what?"

"I don't know." Buffy turned away from Dawn and looked out of the window, "About anything. Maybe we can talk about school? Your friends? Your new boyfriend, Colin?"

Dawn corrected her, "Connor."

Buffy nodded her head. "Yeah, that's it, Connor."

Dawn shook her head. "No. I don't want to talk about Connor. I don't want to talk about school or my friends or anything like that."

Buffy turned her head toward Dawn as she continued speaking. "Why did you try to kill yourself?" Dawn shouted loudly.

Buffy widened her eyes, "Dawn, I didn't…"

Dawn walked over to Buffy until their faces were merely two or three inches apart.

Dawns eyes glazed over with tears, "What were you trying to do, Buffy?" Her voice was now barely above a whisper. Dawn grabbed Buffys wrist and pointed at a scar, "You think that's going to help? You think all your problems will disappear if you carve yourself up?" Dawn released Buffys arm. "All you're doing is making it worse!" Tears freely poured down Dawns cheeks.

Buffy tried to wipe away her tears but Dawn smacked her arm away. "Don't touch me."

Dawn walked over to her book bag and pulled out a pair of scissors.

Buffy stood still, as though she was glued to that spot. "What are you doing with that Dawn?"

Dawn positioned the sharp point of the blade from the scissors above her wrist.

Buffy gasped, "Oh my god, Dawn, what the hell are you doing?"

Buffy ran over to Dawn and tried to yank the scissors out of her hand.

Dawn pushed Buffy down.

"Is this what you do Buffy? Does this help you? Does it make you feel good?"

Buffy picked herself up and wrestled with Dawn over the pair of scissors. Buffy finally got a hold of the scissors and pulled it out of Dawns hand. Dawn stumbled back. "You see how crazy that is, Buff? I had to show you. You had to feel what I felt when I saw your cuts. You thought I was crazy when I did that, didn't you?"

The two girls stood a couple feet apart from each other, both out of breath. They just stared at each other in silence for minutes.

* * *

A couple hours passed and Joyce, Buffy and Dawn were now in the kitchen making manicotti.

Dawn and Buffy talked for about an hour after the scissors incident and came to an understanding. They both had difficulty dealing with their pain but they both agreed that cutting was not the answer.

Dawn explained to Buffy about what she does when she feels upset. She writes in a journal. She writes down every thought and feeling and when she's done, she feels much better. Dawn told Buffy that holding everything in will only make things worse. She told her that all over her pain will build up and she'll end up exploding. "Just talk to someone or write your feelings down, it's good to get your problems off your chest," Dawn said to Buffy. Buffy laughed at the fact that her 12 year old sister was talking to her as if Buffy was the younger sister. But she knew that Dawn was right. She can't keep everything to herself anymore, it is killing her inside. Buffy had no intention of telling anyone about Ted but she could write about it.

After Dawns little lesson to Buffy, Joyce called the girls down for a 'family meeting'. Joyce went over a few new rules she made for the girls. Hank sat in a chair and listened to their meeting, he felt like he didn't have a right to share his thoughts so he only listened to them talk.

The meeting lasted for almost an hour and the summarized discussion was written down on a piece of paper and separated into different subjects:

No big secrets. If something major happens to one of them, then they must call a family meeting and discuss what happened.

No cutting. If Buffy, or even Dawn, ever feels tempted to cut then she must immediately tell Joyce so she can intervene and help handle the situation correctly.

No lying. Lying won't help any of them and the truth will eventually come out, it always does, so it's pointless to lie in the first place.

Everyone agreed to the new rules and even signed their name at the bottom of the paper. Failing to follow the rules could result in being grounded or removal of TV/Phone privileges.

After talking, everyone said that they were hungry and Joyce wanted to have a little family time so she and the girls cooked dinner together.

Hank was in the living room, resting before his flight. He was going to eat dinner and spend some time with the girls before he had to leave for the airport. His plane is scheduled to depart at 10pm but he has to be at the airport two hours before departure.

Joyce put the manicotti into the oven. "Okay, now we can have fun cleaning up the mess we made!"

The girls moaned and complained as they began to clean up.

* * *

After tidying up, Buffy excited the kitchen and went through the dinning room and into the living room to see her father sitting on the couch with his eyes closed. She wanted to talk to him before dinner but she didn't want to disturb him so she went back into the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later Buffy and Dawn were sitting on top of the counter and Joyce was standing in front of them. They were talking about the 'good ole days' and laughing loudly. Everything seemed to be improving so quickly and they were all pleasantly surprised and pleased.

Buffy remembered that her father was sleeping in the other room and realized that they probably woke him up. She wondered why he didn't come into the kitchen though. She doubted that he could sleep through the past twenty minutes since they were all being very loud.

Buffy hopped off the counter and walked into the living. She stopped dead in her tracks and looked around. Hank wasn't in the room.

"Dad"? Buffy called out.

No response. She walked up the stairs and checked every room. There was no sign of him. Buffy ran down the stairs and opened the front door. His car was gone. Buffy walked onto the driveway and stood where her fathers car once was.


	14. The healing Process

**A/N: Thanks to all the reviewers! I love seeing new reviews and it definitely inspires me to write more and update faster.**

**So far, the story has been going very slow (and maybe even a little boring) but after this chapter, things will get much more exciting. There will be a lot more Spike, Willow, Xander, Anya, Tara, Drusilla, Angel, Cordelia, Giles, Oz and definitely a lot more drama coming up very soon. I have already written up to Chapter 22 and there are still many more chapters to write.**

**Here is a very long chapter: **

* * *

Buffy stood still in the driveway. A million different thoughts were running through her head about her fathers' sudden disappearance. It was only 6pm; he had two hours before he had to be at the airport. Why did he leave so early? Or, a better question to ask would be: Why did he take off without telling them?

Did he really leave to go to the airport or did he leave for a different reason, maybe to run to the store? Maybe he was coming back.

Buffy waited a couple more minutes. She had faith that her father would be back shortly.

He had to come back, right? Otherwise that speech he gave Buffy in the car wouldn't make any sense. How could he talk to Buffy about not wanting her to walk out on him, if he planned on walking out on her without a goodbye? Does he even remember what he told her in the car? Did he fake a performance to seem like a decent man?

Buffy couldn't help but override those thoughts. _No, he's coming back. He wouldn't leave like this._

Perhaps Buffy was being naïve waiting for her father to come back but she wanted to believe that he truly loves her; and wouldn't leave without saying bye.

Minutes passed by and Hank was still gone. Buffy blinked back tears and sighed. She headed back to the house.

Buffy walked up to the front door and before opening the door, she turned around one last time. She saw nothing but an empty driveway.

She twisted the door knob and took one step inside the house when she heard a car nearby and seconds later headlights lit up the darkened driveway.

Buffy felt a tingle in her stomach and spun her head around to see a car pulling up in the driveway. Buffy smiled involuntary and whispered, "Dad?"

Buffy walked back outside and hopped over to the car.

The headlights turned off and the car door opened up. A man stepped out but Buffy couldn't see him clearly. She could only see an outline of a male body.

Buffy blinked. _Dad? Is that him?_

"Hello there." Buffy heard a British voice. _He's definitely not my dad. Could that be Spike? No, that man sounds older. _

Buffy backed up slowly as the man approached her.

"I'm Rupert. Rupert Giles." _Rupert Giles? That name sounds familiar. _

Giles took a step closer. "I'm a friend of your mothers. Are-Are you Dawn? Or Buffy?"

Realization about her father not returning finally struck Buffy. She almost forgot that Giles had just asked her a question. "Umm…Uh, I'm, umm, B-Buffy." Buffy stuttered.

Buffy noticed Giles holding some sort of box in his hands. She was too busy trying to figure out what that box was and completely blocked out Giles voice. _A shoe box? No, it's too big. And why would a man bring over a shoe box anyway. It looks kind of white, but I can't see it too well. Maybe it's one of those bakery boxes that you pick up a cake in? Why would he bring over cake? What the hell is in that damn box? And where the heck is my stupid father? Grr! I hate him! _

"Buffy?" Giles asked in a worried tone.

She didn't hear a word he said before he called her name. "Huh?"

"Would you rather bring it to your Joyce or do you mind if I give it to her myself?" Giles replied.

Buffy felt very confused. "Umm, I'm sorry, what?"

Giles looked down at the box in his hands and was about to speak but Buffy cut him off.

"Oh, uh, yeah, sure. Um, go ahead." Buffy pointed at the front door.

"Thank you." Giles gave Buffy a concerned glance before walking into the house.

Buffy stood outside for about another minute then decided to go inside the house.

As soon as she opened the door she heard the voices of Joyce, Giles and Dawn. They were laughing about something.

Buffy sat down on the couch and spaced out.

The word "Hank" brought Buffy back to reality. Joyce was saying something about Hank resting on the couch before his flight. _She doesn't know. _Buffy thought. _I didn't tell her yet. _

Buffy stood up and walked into the kitchen.

"Ah! Buffy, there you are." Joyce said cheerfully.

Giles smiled at Buffy and he got a good look at her for the first time. "Well Joyce, I must say, you have two very beautiful daughters."

Joyce smiled. "Thank you, Giles. But I have no idea where they get their good looks from."

"Oh Joyce, you know you're a very attractive woman." Giles replied.

Buffy started to feel sick after watching her mom and Giles flirt. _Eww. _

The timer on the oven beeped. Dawn walked over to the oven and took out the manicotti.

Giles said his goodbyes to everyone and left.

After setting out plates and silverware, Dawn said, "I'm gonna wake dad up!"

Buffy stepped in front of Dawn. "You can't. He's not here, Dawn."

"What do you mean he's 'not here'?" Dawn tried to push Buffy out of the way but Buffy held onto her shoulders.

"He's not here. He left." Joyce walked over to the girls.

"What did you say, Buffy?" Joyce asked.

Buffy told them everything over dinner. Joyce told the girls not to take it personally. "He probably didn't know how to say goodbye, so he thought it was best to leave without a goodbye." Joyce told them.

* * *

After dinner Buffy and Dawn walked up the stairs together. Dawn jumped into her bed and Buffy sat on the edge of Dawns bed. They talked about their father for nearly two hours. They both expressed how they felt about him and what he did.

Buffy thought it felt good to talk to her sister like this. They were going through the exact same thing, well, sort of. Dawn wasn't abused but she could still relate to Buffy about almost everything else.

Dawn fell asleep and Buffy headed toward her bedroom.

Buffy had one thing on her mind before finally falling asleep: The hospitals outpatient program she was supposed to go to for the next five days.

* * *

**MONDAY**

Buffy woke up at 6:30am and hopped into the shower. She wondered what today would be like. She hoped that the psychiatrist she has to spend the next five days with is nothing like Mrs. Edison.

**7:30am** – Dawn woke up as Joyce and Buffy got into the car and started driving to the hospital. Joyce told Buffy that they would do this everyday this week. She told Buffy to wake up at 6:30am everyday, get ready to leave by 7:30 and she will drop her off at the hospital.

**7:50am** – Joyce pulled into the hospital parking lot. Joyce and Buffy stepped out of the car at the same time.

"Do you want me to walk you in?" Joyce asked.

Buffy nodded her head. "No, I'll be fine."

Joyce walked over to Buffy and gave her a hug. "I'll be here at 3 to pick you up." Joyce kissed her forehead then walked back to the car. Joyce sat in the car and watched Buffy walk into the hospital.

Buffy entered the hospital and looked around. She didn't know where she was supposed to go so she looked around for anything a sign that said "outpatient" but had no luck.

Buffy decided to ask one of the staff walking around but ended up bumping into someone.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Buffy found herself looking into the eyes of Dr. Lee.

Dr. Lee smiled. "Buffy Summers. I was just about to check to see if you made it here yet."

Buffy smiled back. "Well, I'm here. I just don't know where I am supposed to be."

"Ah, well, I was wondering why you were in this part of the building." Buffy gave him a weird look. "Our outpatient program isn't in the main building. We have a separate building for that."

Dr. Lee took Buffy back outside and walked her over to the left side of the main building and saw the small building he was taking her to. Once inside, Buffy saw about 15 kids and teenagers sitting in the lobby.

Dr. Lee told her that this is where everyone waits until 8am. At 8am someone will come out and lead the group into the outpatient section.

**8:00am **– A brown double door opened and a friendly looking woman with short curly blonde hair walked into the lobby.

Dr. Lee introduced the woman, Miss Krauss, to Buffy.

Everyone stood up from their seats and headed into the room that Miss Krauss just walked out of.

Dr. Lee left and Miss Krauss walked Buffy into the room.

* * *

Buffy thought the room looked like the inside of a small school. All of the walls were white and there were numerous child paintings and drawings hanging up along the walls.

As soon as she walked in, there was a blue double door to her left, Buffy looked through the small glass window in the middle of the door and she saw a gym. To the right was a wooden bench. She took a couple steps forward and saw a hallway to her right. Straight ahead was a coat rack. On the left was another blue double door, she could see a cafeteria through the little window.

Miss Krauss led Buffy to the coat rack then turned right. There was another hallway. They walked down the hallway and Miss Krauss took Buffy to the first door on the left.

The first thing she was inside of the room was two long brown tables with yellow chairs pushed underneath. One table was on the left side of the room and the other table was on the right.

About seven feet behind the tables she saw a comfortable sitting area. There was a yellow couch, a yellow love seat and two yellow chairs around a chestnut coffee table.

Buffy looked back at the table on the right side of the room and saw a red haired man with a goatee sitting in one of the chairs. The man was talking to a chubby boy with blond hair and brown eyes. The boy looked about 12 or 13 years old. He was sitting across from the man. A cute teenage guy with black hair and brown eyes sat next to the chubby boy.

At the table on the left side of the room a little girl, probably 8 years old, was looking at a picture book. She had gorgeous shiny blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. She looked absolutely adorable. Buffy saw a tall and very slim teenage girl with black hair and brown eyes sitting next to the little girl. Across from the teenage girl was another teenage boy with brown spiked hair and dark blue eyes.

"Excuse me." Buffy looked behind her and saw a little boy, who looked around 7 years old, with brown hair and hazel eyes. She moved out of the way and the boy walked over to the man with the goatee.

Miss Krauss pointed to the man and said, "That man over there is Ron Peterson, you'll come to this room every morning and he will be here. He is the psychiatrist for the kids staying for five days. Now, all of these kids you see in here have already been here a couple days so they know what to do. They'll leave soon and you'll see new kids come in."

Buffy nodded her head and looked back at the little blonde girl. _What did she do to get in here? She's so small and innocent looking. _

Buffy looked back at Miss Krauss. "I thought there were more people in the lobby?"

"Mmhmm." Miss Krauss replied. "Yep, there are usually about 15 to 20 kids waiting in the lobby in morning. Most of those kids come here everyday for months. When children refuse to go to school and act up, they come here."

Ron noticed Buffy and Miss Krauss standing next to the door; he stood up and walked over to them.

"Buffy Summers?"

Buffy nodded her head.

**8:30am **– Buffy was introduced to everyone in the room and she was now sitting at the table on the left side of the room.

The little blonde girl is Madeline, Maddie for short.

The teenage girl next to Maddie is Natasha.

The teenager across from Natasha is Jeremy.

The chubby boy is Nathan.

The cute teenage boy is Kenny.

And the little boy who came up behind Buffy is Scott.

Ron handed everyone a piece of paper with questions on it and asked everyone to fill it out.

There were about five questions on the page. Each question started out as a story and in each story something bad happened to a boy or girl. After each story the question ask, 'What would you do if this happened to you?' and everyone had to write down what they would do if they were put in that situation.

**9:15am – **Everyone finished answering the questions on the piece of paper. Ron asked everyone to stand up and bring their paper with them over to the sitting area.

Buffy, Maddie, Scott and Natasha sat on the couch. Jeremy and Kenny sat on the loveseat. Nathan and Ron sat in the chairs.

Ron wanted to have a discussion about the questions everyone answered. He said they were going to go over each different situation in the questions and everyone has to share their answer and explain why they would do whatever they wrote down.

Buffy was a bit nervous about reading what she wrote and then explaining why she wrote it. She always got uncomfortable when she had to speak in front of a group of people. However, it was different this time. She felt so relaxed after going over the first question. She felt like herself and she wasn't embarrassed to talk in front of these people.

**10:30am –** Everyone was still in the sitting room. They were finished with the group discussion and Ron let them have some free time.

Maddie was sitting on her knees on the floor. She had a coloring book on the coffee table and was coloring a picture.

Scott was playing with his game boy.

Buffy, Natasha, Nathan, Kenny and Jeremy decided to play the card game, Uno, since there was nothing else to do. The gathered around the coffee table, on the opposite side of Maddie.

**12:00pm **– Everyone left the room they were in and headed toward the cafeteria.

They all headed for the same long brown table. Nathan sat in the first chair on the right, Natasha sat next to him and Buffy sat next to Natasha. Maddie took a seat next to Buffy. Scott sat across Nathan and Jeremy sat next to Scott. Kenny sat next to Jeremy, across from Buffy.

Buffy, Natasha and Maddie talked to each other the entire time. Buffy thought Maddie was unbelievably adorable. She was smart, funny and extremely sweet.

**3:00pm **– It was time to go home. The day seemed to pass by fast for Buffy. Perhaps because she actually enjoyed being here.

After lunch, everyone went back to the room and they had another group discussion. Not much happened after that. Everyone just sat around and talked.

Around 2pm Ron sat down at one of the tables and called one person over at a time. He wanted to spend a couple minutes with each person and talk to them about the reason why they are here and what they have been doing to cope with their problems. When he was done calling on people, everyone played another card game together.

Buffy almost felt like she was kindergarten again. But she was enjoying it, so she didn't care if it was a bit childish.

* * *

**TUESDAY**

**8:00am **– Buffy walked over to the coat rack and hung up her light jacket. It was a bit chilly today so she grabbed her jacket right before leaving the house.

Maddie attempted to hang up her jacket as well but she was too short and couldn't reach the hook. Buffy helped her hang it up. Maddie thanked her then she grabbed Buffys hand. Buffy was a bit surprised by this but she didn't object to Maddie holding her hand. Maddie and Buffy walked side by side to the room Ron was sitting in.

Ron told everyone that yesterday was Scotts last day here so it was just Buffy, Maddie, Natasha, Kenny, Nathan and Jeremy today.

**11am **– Everyone was in the sitting area and Ron wanted them to talk about the reason why they are here.

Nathan went first; he is here because he beat a kid up at school and punched a teacher in the jaw.

Natasha was next, she is here because she threatened to kill herself and ran away from her foster home.

Just like Nathan, Kenny is also here because of his violent behavior.

Jeremy tried to kill himself by overdosing on painkillers.

Buffy told everyone she recently started cutting herself.

Maddie was last. She told everyone that she throws tantrums whenever she thinks about her moms' boyfriend because he 'did bad things to her'.

Maddie continued saying that he, "Put himself inside me and it hurt me."

Buffy couldn't believe she was hearing this. Maddie is just a little girl. How could a grown man do such things to someone so young and innocent? She thought Ted was the most despicable person she knew but whoever did this to Maddie had to be even more F-ed up in the head. _There are some very sick and disgusting people out there. _

Ron noticed Buffys reaction to what Maddie said so he asked, "How did you feel when you heard Maddie say that, Buffy?"

Buffy had a look of disgust on her face. "I felt disgusted…and angry."

Ron told everyone to talk about what they thought about what happened to Maddie. During the conversation Buffy started to think about her own experiences. Ron watched Buffys face the entire time and he knew something happened to her.

**2:55pm – **Ron told everyone they could leave the room and wait in the lobby for their parents to pick them up but asked Buffy to stay.

Ron started to talk to Buffy about child molestation; he asked her what was her opinion about child molestation was. After talking for a couple minutes, Ron's speculations were confirmed.

Out of nowhere Ron asked the question. "When did it happen to you?"

Buffy's heart started racing. "Oh, um, that never happened to me. I just hate people like that."

Buffy knew he didn't believe what she said. Sure, she was telling the truth about hating child molesters but she lied when she said it never happened to her.

Buffy said she had to go and hurried out of that room.

* * *

**WEDNESDAY **

**8:00am **– Ron said that a new girl was joining the group today. A teenage girl walked into the room and Buffy recognized her immediately. Amber walked into the room and sat down next to Buffy.

Amber was the girl who woke Buffy up when she started screaming for her father. Buffy knew she had a major attitude problem and was nervous about what she would do here.

**3:00pm **– Surprisingly Buffy started to really like Amber. Buffy, Amber, Natasha, Kenny and Jeremy started to all become good friends with each other. Buffy and Natasha were now very close and Buffy couldn't remember the last time she felt so close to a friend.

Today was both Natasha and Jeremys last day here so they both gave Buffy their phone numbers.

Ron never brought up the child molestation subject again today and she hoped that he forgot about it.

* * *

**THURSDAY**

**8:00am **– Three new people joined the group today: Hannah, a 15 year old red head. Ashton, a cute 10 year old boy and Ryeshia, Buffy's old roommate from the adolescent floor.

**11:00am **– Ron talked to everyone about compliments. He said that most people remember the negative remarks someone tells you and forgets about the compliments. He told everyone to go in a circle and give an honest compliment to the person sitting next to them. He wanted everyone to remember the compliment.

**3:00pm **– Today was Maddies last day so Maddie wrote down her email address and gave it to Buffy. Buffy was slightly surprised that an eight year old had an email address and talked online but she was glad because now she could keep in touch with Maddie.

It was also Kenny and Nathans last day. Kenny gave Buffy his phone number, email and AOL screen name.

* * *

**FRIDAY**

**3:00pm **– Today was Buffys last day and she wanted to remember everyone so she brought a camera and took pictures with everyone.

**5:00pm **– Buffy went to the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner tonight. She wanted to make a special dinner for Joyce and Dawn.

Buffy tried to reach a item on the top self but she couldn't reach it.

"Let me help you with that, pet."

Buffy turned around and smiled when she saw the man standing behind her. _Spike. _


	15. The Invitation

**Sorry for the delayed update! And thanks to everyone who reviewed!**

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* * *

**

Buffy was surprised to turn around and see Spike standing behind her. The last time she saw him was in school, exactly one week ago.

Buffy finally spoke, "I didn't expect to see you here."

Spike smiled, "I didn't expect to be here. My…" Spike was cut off when Drusilla appeared out of nowhere and snuck up behind him.

Drusilla wrapped her arms around Spikes waist and leaned her head against his shoulder. Spike seemed a bit uncomfortable at first and smiled nervously before continuing to speak.

"My fiancée wanted to throw an engagement party tomorrow so she dragged me along to shop for 'party' food."

Drusilla began to rub a hand along Spikes torso and Buffy wanted to gag. However, she smiled politely, "Oh, that's nice."

Spike nodded, "So, how is school without me?"

Buffy wrinkled her forehead. "Oh, um, I don't know. I haven't been to school in a week."

Spike raised her eye brow for an explanation.

"I was in the hospital for…" Buffy stopped speaking when she remembered Drusilla was standing right there.

Spike looked concerned. "Hospital? Are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?"

Buffy chuckled, "No, no. I'm fine. I just wasn't…feeling…well." Spike opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off. "I…I should probably get going. I don't want to keep you from shopping for your party." She started to walk away.

"Wait!" Spike nearly shouted. Buffy turned around and looked at him. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

Buffy thought for a moment. "Um, I don't know, I haven't planned anything."

"I see. Well, you should stop by if you're not busy." Spiked waited for Buffy's reply.

Buffy thought it would be a bit awkward going to Spikes party. After all, she barely knew him. "Oh, I don't know."

Drusilla smiled, "I want to see you at my party Buffy. I want to know you. I think we could be good friends, yes?" Buffy nodded her head and Drusilla was pleased. "Lovely. I can't wait to see you there and meet all of Spikes students."

Buffy looked at Spike and he explained. "We've invited the entire English class and few other students."

Buffy sighed in relief. At least Willow and Xander would be there. _Oh my god. Willow. I should call her!_

Spike gave Buffy his address and they said goodbye. Now Buffy needed to hurry home, pick out a cute outfit and call Willow. Tomorrow she was going to Spikes party.


	16. The Party

**Wow, I seriously can't believe how long it's been since I last updated! I'm so sorry! I feel really bad. I hope this chapter will make up for everything. I'm moving in a 5 days and my 14th birthday is in 2 days so I don't know when I can add a next chapter but hopefully it won't be too long. **

* * *

Buffy checked herself out in front of the full length mirror in her mother's bedroom. She was dressed in mini jean skirt and a white spaghetti strap tank top. A bandage was tightly wrapped around her arm to hide her cuts.

Joyce walked up behind her daughter and squeezed her shoulders. She gave Buffy a kiss on the side of her head and the strong scent of strawberry shampoo filled her nostrils.

"You look gorgeous, honey." Joyce whispered into her ear. "However, maybe you should consider a longer skirt? Maybe one that goes down to your knees?"

Buffy glared at her mother's reflection in the mirror as Joyce chuckled.

"Just a suggestion." Joyce said as she released her daughter and walked toward a pile of clean clothes on her bed.

Buffy continued looking at herself in the mirror and wondered what it would be like at Spike and Drusilla's engagement party. She loved watching two people celebrate their love with family and friends. She had always been excited when she heard about a friends' engagement, however, she didn't feel that excitement when she thought about Spike and Drusilla spending their life together. In fact, she felt a knot in the pit of her stomach when she pictured them together_. What if Spike is ruining his life by marrying her? What if they're not supposed to be together?_ Buffy didn't see passion and love in their eyes when they looked at each other. _Should I tell Spike how I feel about this engagement? Would it be inappropriate to tell my substitute teacher not to marry his fiancée? What if Spike is waiting for someone to tell him this is a mistake but no one ever tells him and he thinks that is a sign that he is doing that right thing by marrying Drusilla?_

"You seem awfully distracted. What's on your mind, hon?" Joyce asked Buffy as she folded up the clothes on the bed.

Buffy shook her head, "Oh, it's nothing." Buffy glanced at the alarm clock and gasped.

"Shoot! It's already six thirty! I'm late!"

Buffy raced out of her mother's bedroom and shouted bye as she ran through the hallway and down the stairs.

* * *

Ten minutes later Buffy arrived at Drusilla's house and lightly knocked on the door.

Buffy stood outside patiently and waited for someone to answer. Twenty seconds passed, then thirty and soon a whole minute went by. She knocked again, this time a louder.

"You know, I don't think anyone can hear you from the backyard."

A startled Buffy spun around and saw a handsome teenager leaning against a tree in the middle of the lawn.

Buffy blushed, "Oh, I didn't know they were outside."

The man smiled and lit up a cigarette. "Now you know."

Buffy nodded her head, "I guess I better go back there then."

The young man simply stared at her and replied, "I guess so."

"Yeah." Buffy turned around and began walking toward the backyard.

"I'm Angel, by the way." The man shouted out to her.

Buffy stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around, "I'm Buffy. Summers. Buffy Summers."

Angel smiled once more, "Nice to meet you, Buffy. Summers. Buffy Summers."

Buffy smiled and covered her mouth with her hand. She quickly glanced down at the ground and shyly spoke once more, "Bye…Angel."

Angel watched Buffy walk away and grinned.

Buffy quietly made her entrance into the backyard and passed a group of men playing poker. A long thin table was covered with bowls full of chips and other snacks. A few feet away was an 8 foot deep pool with about 20 teenagers and young adults swimming and playing around. A few people were standing around and talking while others were dancing with their friends.

Buffy smiled when she spotted Willow, Xander and Tara talking. She walked toward them and Willow must've sensed her presence because she turned her head in Buffy's direction. Willow yelped and practically jumped on top of Buffy. "Oh my god, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!"

Buffy laughed, "It's only been a few days!"

Willow smiled, "I know but I…we…missed you!"

Xander and Tara greeted Buffy and talked for a couple of minutes until Tara noticed the bandage on Buffy's arm. "Oh, Buffy! What happened to your arm?"

Buffy touched her arm and chuckled and thought of a quick lie. "You're not going to believe this… but… I accidentally cut myself… while I was helping my dad… make… dinner."

Tara wrinkled her forehead, "I thought you lived with your mom?"

Buffy spoke quickly, "I do, my dad came to town and stayed with us for a few days. That's why I haven't been to school this week. Dawn and I haven't seen our dad in such a long time and we wanted to spend every minute with him."

Xander and Willow bought the lie but Tara saw right through her and knew something else was going on.

Spike interrupted the group before Tara could begin her interrogation. "Hello everyone. Buffy, I'm glad to see you made it."

Buffy smiled and felt butterflies in her stomach. She gazed into Spikes eyes and swore she saw them sparkle.

"I'd like to make a toast!" A man shouted from the patio and caused Spike and Buffy to break eye contact. "To my best friend, Spike and his beautiful fiancée, Drusilla. Spike, if you could, join us up here and stand next to your lovely bride to be."

Spike gave Buffy a quick kiss on the cheek then ran toward the patio and stood about two feet away from Drusilla. Buffy touched her cheek and felt weak in the knees. _Why did he do that?_ She couldn't focus on the speech; she was preoccupied thinking about the kiss Spike just gave her. She had to sit down. She found an empty white lawn chair and plopped down. Minutes passed and all Buffy could do was re-play Spikes quick kiss on the cheek and wondered if it meant something or if he was just being a gentlemen.

* * *

It was now completely pitch black outside and romantic lights lit up the backyard. A love song was playing and couples were slow dancing together. Spike and Drusilla were one of the many couples dancing. Spike noticed Buffy sitting alone in a chair and stared at her. Drusilla saw his gaze and whispered in his ear, "Ask her to dance. She looks so lonely."

Spike nodded as Drusilla stepped back and walked toward the house.

Buffy was still daydreaming and wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. She jumped when she felt a man tap her shoulder.

He smiled. "Hi."

Buffy smiled back. "Hi."

"Dance with me." He extended his hand out and Buffy accepted it.

"Okay."

He wrapped his arm around her waist and she draped her arms around his shoulders. Buffy leaned against him, rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. When she opened them she saw a man standing a few feet away.

Spike sighed as he watched Angel and Buffy dance to a romantic song.


	17. Romantic Triangles and Such

**A/N: **_I am sooooo sorry for the very long delay! I have just been so busy with school and I moved in the summer so I didn't have access to the internet for a very long time. Please forgive me! _

* * *

Spike watched Buffy and Angel for several seconds before retreating toward the house. Drusilla watched as her fiancé sulked all the way to the back porch and rest on the top step. She rubbed her chin and examined his facial expressions closely.

Buffy inhaled the strong scent of cologne Angel wore and exhaled deeply. Angel chucked, "Are you smelling me, Summers?"

Buffy's cheeks went crimson and she nervously bit her bottom lip. Angel gripped her waist tighter and plunged his face into her hair, along her neck and snorted. Buffy laughed out loud, "you are such a dork!" She spoke loud enough that Spike, Willow and Xander could hear her.

Angel removed his head from her hair and peered deep into her eyes. "You have an amazingly beautiful smile."

Buffy tried her hardest to hide her smile but she couldn't. In fact, her smile grew wider and she felt better than she had in years.

Willow couldn't help but beam as she watched her new friend and Angel dance together. Xander stood beside the redhead, "She looks so happy."

Willow smiled at Xander, "Yeah, she does. I've never seen her so smiley before. I can't believe Angel is the one making her feel that way, out of all people."

Xander chuckled, "Cordelia is going to freak when she finds out how chummy her boyfriend is with the new girl."

Willow sighed, "I almost forgot he was taken by the devil. Poor Buffy, I think this is the first time she actually enjoyed herself in this town. It's going to suck when she finds out he's not available, or worse, if he cheats on Cordelia with her. We'd need to hire a full time body guard to protect her in the halls at school."

"You think we should tell her?"

Willow shook her head, "Nah, let her have a good time tonight. I'll let her know tomorrow if she doesn't find out by then."

Tara joined Willow and Xander and followed their gaze to Buffy and Angel. Tara gasped, "Oh my god, get Buffy away from him!"

Willow and Xander snapped her heads toward Tara. Xander cocked an eyebrow, "Why? She's having a good time."

"She won't be when Cordelia sees them!" Tara spat back.

Xander shrugged, "Don't worry about it, she's not even here."

Tara tapped Xander on his shoulder and pointed at the pool table. His eyes widened, "Oh shit."

Willow faced Xander, "What?" She followed his eyes toward the pool table and shrieked. "Oh no. This isn't going to be pretty. When did she show up?"

Angel heard Willow shriek in the distance and looked toward the direction she was staring in. Buffy felt Angel tense up and gave him a questioning look.

"You wanna get out of here?"

"N-now?" Buffy stuttered.

"Yeah, come on, there's somethin' I wanna show ya." Angel grabbed her hand led her in the opposite direction of where Cordelia was standing.

Xander attempted to chase after Buffy when he saw Angel drag her away but Willow stopped him.

"You run after her and there will most likely be a scene and Bitchy McBitch will catch the two lovers trying escape."

* * *

Spike watched the entire scene, never taking his eyes off of Buffy. Drusilla glided toward her fiancé and sat down beside him.

"Do you love her?"

Spike snapped out of his trance and noticed Drusilla for the first time since she insisted he ask Buffy to dance. "I'm sorry?"

"Are you in love with Buffy Summers?"

Spike stared at Drusilla in shock, "Wha-what? Are you serious? She's a child."

Drusilla studied his face, "age doesn't prevent love."

"You've gone mad, Dru. She's a former student of mine, nothing more."

Drusilla raised her eyebrows. "I see the way you look at her. You looked at me like that once before, you know? But not anymore, it's sad really."

"Dru, love, what's gotten into you tonight? You're the only woman I love, the only woman I will ever dream of marrying."

Drusilla pouted, "It's not nice to make promises you can't keep, Spikey."

Spike kneeled down in front of his fiancée. "Dru, look at me." He cupped her chin in his hand and forced her eyes to meet his. "I love you and you only. You're the only one for me. I wouldn't have proposed to you, I wouldn't be engaged to you, I wouldn't be marrying you soon if I felt my feelings for you have subsided."

Drusilla kissed his fingers, "I suppose its cold feet, love."

Spike wrapped his arms around Drusilla and pulled her close to him for a tight embrace. He rested his head on Drusilla's shoulders, facing away from her and sighed. How could he be in love with a 16 year old girl? That is absolutely ridiculous. Or is it?

* * *

Angel took Buffy to a remote location overlooking a beautiful pond. He found a comfortable spot and sat down on the grass. "Sit down, Summers."

Buffy obeyed and sat down next to Angel. "What's your last name?"

Angel titled his head and gazed into her eyes, "why?"

"You keep calling me Summers and I thought I'd give you the same treatment by calling you by your last name."

Angel leaned closer to Buffy and lightly licked his lips, "You're so beautiful."

Buffy blushed and found a spot on the grass to stare at. Angel titled her chin up and they locked eye contact. Her heart started racing, she certainly didn't anticipate for this to happen. A few hours ago she didn't even know who Angel was, now here she was, sitting on a grassy hill overlooking a gorgeous pond with none other than Angel. Angel wrapped an arm around her waist and scooted her closer toward his body. A million thoughts started racing around in Buffy's mind. She had never been with a man before, besides her step-father but that wasn't willingly. She never had a boyfriend or even a first real kiss.

Angel caressed her cheek and brought his face within centimeters of his. He slowly and gently brushed his lips against hers. Buffy instinctively parted her lips and allowed Angel invade her mouth.

* * *

Rays of sunlight burst in the sky and while most of Sunnydale was still asleep in their beds, Buffy and Angel were wrapped in each others arms outside, fast asleep. Buffy awoke to sounds to birds chirping and stretched her arms and legs. She accidentally punched something and quickly spun around to see what it was. Angel. Suddenly it hit her that she was still outside with Angel. She realized she must have fallen asleep. She replayed the night in her head, getting dressed for Spike and Drusilla's party, dancing with Angel, kissing Angel and then they stared at the stars in the sky until they drifted to sleep. Angel moaned and opened his eyes.

"Buffy? What time is it?"

Buffy grabbed Angels arm and looked at the watch on his wrist. "Uhh, 7am. Oh my god! My mom is going to kill me! She's always up by 6! She has to know I'm not there! I'm dead!"

Angel sat up, "Hey, calm down. It'll be fine, if you want I can explain to her what happened."

Buffy shook her head. "No, I just need to get home. I can handle my mom."

Angel cracked his back and took a deep breath, "You know what? If she already knows you're not home then why rush?" Angel grinned and gently kissed Buffy on the lips.

* * *

Spike rolled over in bed when the phone rang loudly next to his head. He moaned and cursed as Drusilla reached passed him and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?"

There was a woman's voice on the other line. "Hi, this is Joyce Summers, I'm Buffy's mother. Did she happen to spend the night at your house?"

"Hmm? Buffy? No, she left around 10 last night with a boy."

Complete silence on the other line.

Spike bolted upright in bed when he heard Drusilla. "What about Buffy?"

"It's Buffy's mom, she thought Buffy slept over."

Spike grabbed the phone from Drusilla's hand.

"Mrs. Summers?"

"Yes."

"Is everything alright Buffy?"

Joyce sighed on the other line, "I don't know. I don't know where she is. She never came home last night."

"Don't worry. I'll find her." Spike handed the phone back to Drusilla and crawled out of bed. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and headed downstairs to search for the missing blonde.

* * *

**A/N:** Again, I'm very sorry about the long wait! I really hope people still read this! PLEASE review! Let me know what you think so far.


	18. Blooming Relationships

Buffy groaned and broke off the kiss as she pushed against Angel's chest.

"I really have to get home, Angel!"

Angel sighed heavily and gazed into her eyes. She grinned weakly but her eyes only displayed fear and worry. He knew she was concerned about her facing her mother's wrath upon returning home. He gently brushed a strand of hair off of her face and tucked it behind her ear.

"Five more minutes?" Angel pleaded and stuck out his bottom lip like a small child.

Buffy sighed dramatically and threw her hands in the air. "If you weren't so cute you'd be sitting here alone, just so you know."

Angel smiled and winked. "Thank you." He paused for a moment to stare at her. "Now, where were we?"

He captured her lips with his and was glad when he felt her respond. He deepened the kiss and pulled her so close that their bodies had no space between them.

* * *

Spike drove around town for 20 minutes and found no trace of Buffy. He started growing more worried with each passing second. He vividly remembered watching her leave with Angel and prayed she wasn't lying in his bed now.

Even though Spike was only a substitute teacher at Sunnydale High School, he heard many rumors and stories about Angel. None of them were pleasant.

He decided to pull the car over and walk through the small patch of woods which lead to a park by a pond. If he can't find her there then he'll have to report back to Joyce and gather a small search group.

* * *

Buffy moaned against Angel's mouth as he gripped her waist tightly and attempted to bring their bodies closer together even though it was physically impossible. After a few moments she had to pull away to catch her breath. Angel waited approximately 5 seconds before claiming her mouth again. Buffy's eyes widened and she jerked her head away from him.

"Whoa, chill out for a second Angel. Don't you think we're moving too fast?"

Angel loosened his grip on her and Buffy heard a growl coming from the back of his throat.

He glared at her and spoke with pure venom. "Fine. Let's get you home."

Buffy nearly jumped at the sound of his harsh voice. "Hey, what's the matter with you?"

Silence

"Angel? Hello?"

Silence.

"Oh, you have to be kidding me. You're mad because I'm stopping you from sucking my face off?"

Silence.

Buffy became aggravated and rolled her eyes. "You know what? Whatever. I thought you were different. But it turns out you only want thing."

Buffy stood up a bit too fast and her head started to spin. She tumbled forward and nearly fell until a pair of strong arms caught her.

She glanced behind her to see Angel protectively wrap his arms around her to prevent her from falling.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear. "But you're wrong. I don't want just one thing. I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about that particular thing, but that's not all I want. I truly do want to get to know you. Maybe you're right, maybe we are moving too fast. It's just…I've never been with a girl like you before. All the girls I've dated jumped into the sack immediately."

Buffy flinched at his last statement and she felt slightly disgusted. Noticing the look on her face, Angel quickly spoke again before she could say anything.

"But that's not what I'm looking for. I need to get away from girls like that. Girls with self-respect. You."

Even though Buffy felted sick about realizing Angel slept around with many girls, she couldn't help but smile. She bit her bottom lip to hide her amusement but Angel had already caught it.

Buffy twisted around in his arms so they were facing each other.

"Okay, look," Buffy began, "I don't know much about you and you really don't me. Let's just start over and pretend this didn't happen. We can get to know each other…as friends."

Angel pursed his lips together and thought for a few moments. "Or…we could not forget about this and continue to get to know each other."

Buffy cocked her head to the side, ready to protest but Angel cut her off.

"Wait. Listen. I've already tasted you, Buffy. I can't be around you and try my hardest not to kiss you."

Buffy smiled to herself and rolled her eyes in defeat. "Fine. We remain as is, but we're going to slow down. Deal?"

Angel smiled sweetly. "Deal, gorgeous."

She blushed and broke out of his arms before he could make her melt. She took a total of 3 steps away from him before he grabbed her upper arm and spun her around to face him again. Before she could give absorb what was happening, he kissed her gently. She wrapped her arms around his necked and kissed him passionately.

It wasn't like her to be so impulsive. She barely knew Angel and yet she was acting like they had been dating for months. It surprised her how easy it was for her to be touched by a man after what happened with her stepfather.

A movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention and she ripped her mouth away from Angel's and turned her head the direction where someone was standing. A man. A man she knew.

Buffy's cheeks burned from embarrassment and she hung her head low. Spike stood a few feet away. Staring at them with disappointment written all over his face.

"Your mom called me." Spike said, barely hiding his anger. "She was worried when you never made it home." He glanced at Angel and shook his head in disgust. "It's nice to see where your priorities lie."

Angel raised an eyebrow, "He man, what's your problem?"

Spike took a step forward. Looking as though he would pounce at any given moment. Buffy felt the thick tension and stood directly between them. She turned to face Spike and spoke with a shaky voice.

"I'm really sorry. Things just happened and…" She paused briefly, realizing how that must sound to Spike. "I mean, nothing happened. I just fell asleep out here. We were talking and I didn't notice the time and…I…I should go home now."

Spike glared at Angel once more before facing Buffy. "I'll give you a ride."

Buffy nodded her head and walked toward Spike. Angel trailed behind but Spike put a hand out and shook his head. "You're not coming with us. I'm sure you're the last person Buffy's mom would want to see after she finds out what happened."

Buffy widened her eyes. "Wait. You're not going to tell her what you saw, are you?"

Spike stared into her eyes. "No."

Buffy sighed with relief.

"You are." He finished.

"Oh, come on! She'll kill me!" Buffy whined.

Spike simply shrugged and headed in the direction of his car. Angel stood still and angered filled his entire body as he watched Spike and Buffy leave him behind. Buffy glanced back at him and mouthed 'I'm sorry'. He remained in the same spot, glaring.

* * *

Spike pulled into the driveway and Buffy sat still. She tried mentally preparing herself for what her mother would do. She knew this wasn't going to be a pretty site. With all the drama that's been going on lately, this was going to push her over the edge. If Buffy could lie and tell her that she fell asleep alone, then maybe her mom wouldn't be as angry with her. But she knew Spike would jump in and correct her lie.

Spike opened his door and walked to the other side of the car to help Buffy out. He opened the door but she just sat there. Looking straight ahead at the garage door.

Spike sighed loudly, he didn't have time for her childish games. "Come on, Buffy. Your mom is waiting."

"She's going to kill me."

"Doubt it. Now come on. I want to get back home. My fiancee is waiting for me."

Buffy whipped her head around to face Spike. She didn't know why, but his words stung her. It was as if he didn't care about her. Like he was inconveniencing himself by finding her and bringing her home. She glared up at him.

"I can get out without your help. Go back to your wife." She shouted as she practically ran from the car to the house.

Spike grabbed a handful of his air and wanted to rip it out. That girl was driving him insane.

He followed her up the walkway to the porch but was shocked when she slammed the front door in his face. He tried suppressing his anger and thought about just heading back to the car and letting her sulk. But then he decided against it. He needed to inform Joyce of the type of person Buffy was getting intimate with.

Spiked gripped the door handled and invited himself in.

Buffy stood in the center of the living room. Joyce was in front of her, arms across her chest and her brows furrowed. She glared down at her daughter and demanded to know where she had been.

Buffy glanced back at Spike as he slipped inside but Joyce cleared her throat to recapture her attention.

"I asked you were you were, young lady." Joyce repeated to her daughter. She then looked over at Spike. "Thank you so much for bringing her back. You've been very generous and I'm glad Buffy has someone kind enough to look after her."

Buffy snorted and it didn't go unnoticed by Spike.

"Well?" Joyce demanded.

"Okay, promise not to get mad?"

Joyce pretended to think for a minute. "No. Explain. Now."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." She mumbled underneath her breath. "Okay, you know I went to Spike's party. Well, at the party I ran into a guy from school. Angel. Anyway, we started…talking and…" She paused to look at Spike, who shifted uncomfortably. "And he took me to the park. There is this gorgeous pond and we sat near the edge to talk some more. We were talking for hours and neither of us noticed the time passing. I guess I got really tired and I just feel asleep."

Joyce's face flushed with red. "You were sleeping with a boy?"

"Yes. Sleeping being the operative word here. Nothing happened! I swear on my life!"

Joyce flipped on the light switch to get a better look at her daughter and gasped. Buffy's lips were bright red and slight swollen as if she'd been roughly kissing someone all night. Her hair was tangled and small pieces of twigs and leafs were in stuck in her hair.

"Buffy you better tell me the truth right now."

"I just did, mother!"

"Really? Sleeping, hmm? Why are your lips swollen? Why does your hair look like you've been rolling around on the ground?" Joyce dropped her head into her hands. "I know you think you're old enough to have sex but Buffy, please listen to me, there are consequences, you could get pregnant or even worse. I need…"

"Mom!" Buffy interrupted. "I did not have sex with Angel! I swear! I'll even take a lie detector test!"

Joyce stared at Buffy and she wanted to believe her. She wished she could trust her daughter but after everything that's happened recently, she just couldn't. "You promise me Buffy, you are a virgin?"

The floor creaked behind them and they both looked back to see Spike looking uncomfortable and pale.

Joyce gave him an apologetic look. "We'll discuss this later. You need to take a shower."

Buffy hated being treated like a child, especially in front of Spike. "I think I could have figured that out on my own." She said as she walked past Joyce and fled upstairs.

Joyce motioned for Spike to sit down and he obeyed. The silence was awkward and Joyce wanted to get straight to the point.

"Thank you," She started saying as Spike looked her directly in the eyes, "Thank you so much for finding her. I nearly had a heart attack when she didn't come home!" She rubbed her temples and blinked at couple of times. "It's been stressful around here lately. I don't know how I would handle…I…" She sighed deeply. "So many thoughts entered my mind. Evil thoughts. I couldn't stop thinking that someone could call or knock on the door and tell that Buffy is…" She couldn't finish her thought. She ran her fingers through her hair to comb it back and tears filled her eyes. "I'm so afraid of something happening to her. I don't think I could survive if I ever lost one of my girls."

Spike felt a tremendous amount of sympathy for the woman. He noticed the deep wrinkles in her forward from worry and he wished he knew what to say to take away her pain. He wanted to be able to say nothing bad will ever happen to Buffy. But he couldn't promise that. Things happen all the time. He would be devastated if anything ever happened to her and that worried him. He knew he shouldn't care so deeply about a high school girl. His feelings weren't romantic, she was much too young for him. Her actions this morning confirmed that. But he felt something for her. He wanted to protect her from everything evil in this world. He wanted to shield her from the heart breakers that she would no doubt encounter over time.

"As long as I am near, I can guarantee you I'll do my best to protect your daughters." Spike smiled down at Joyce and she grinned in return.

"You are such a wonderful man. I am so thankful to have your in Buffy's life."

Spike's smile faded when he remembered Angel was in the picture now. "Ms. Summers, there is something I need to discuss with you."

"Joyce. Call me Joyce."

Spike nodded weakly. "Alright, Joyce."

"Are you okay? You look worried." Joyce asked with concern.

"I'd be lying if I said I weren't." Spike replied and Joyce frowned. "It's about the boy Buffy was with."

Joyce inhaled deeply and waited for him to continue.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Buffy bounced down the stairs and saw her mom waving goodbye to Spike as he drove off. Joyce glanced at her daughter and shut the door.

"Buffy, we need to talk." Joyce said firmly.


	19. Confiding In A Friend

Joyce led Buffy to the kitchen and prepared to make breakfast as she talked to her eldest daughter. She opened the refrigerator to pull out a carton of eggs and a gallon of milk.

"After you went upstairs to take a shower I had a little talk with Mr. Hartford." Joyce said smoothly as she laid the eggs and milk on the counter and pulled out a fraying pan. "I'm still disappointed about what happened but I want you to know what I'm about to tell you as nothing to do with what you did. Understand?" She glanced at Buffy, holding a cracked egg in mid-air.

Buffy only nodded and refused to say anything in fear that it could lead to another argument.

Joyce poured the egg into a bowl and added a small amount of milk. She picked up a silver fork and whisked the eggs and milk in the bowl. "It's about Angel." She said as she gently placed the fork on the counter.

Buffy tensed. What did she know about Angel? She never met him before. Wait, this probably as to do with something Spike said when was taking a shower. She noticed the way Spike looked at Angel. He had a personal vendetta against him and now he was filling her mother's head with stories!

Joyce poured the contents of the bowl into the frying pan and looked back at her daughter. "I don't know him personally. But I've heard stories from people."

Buffy rolled her eyes, "You mean one person. And I bet his name happens to be Spike."

Joyce cleared her throat. "Mr. Hartford was kind enough to express his concern about you. You should be thankful to have him around, Buffy. I really wish you wouldn't take him for granted."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Are you like in love with him?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why is Spike's opinion so important? He doesn't even know Angel! Not like…"

"Not like you do?" Joyce finished.

Buffy lumped forward in her chair and looked down. "And how well do you know this young man?" Joyce received no response so she continued talking after a few moments of silence. "I thought so. If you knew him as well as you believe, you'd know about his little stunt that landed him in a juvenile detention center for 6 months."

Buffy quickly raised her head and parted her lips slightly but no sound escaped.

"He also has a well known reputation for having multiple sexual partners. One girl accused him of being forceful. She conveniently dropped the charges after have a private meeting with him in the boys public restroom at school."

"Whoa, whoa. Stop. You honestly believe that bull? That's nothing like Angel. He doesn't have to rape a girl to get what he wants."

Joyce completely froze. "What was that?"

Buffy folded her arms over her chest. "I don't believe you. I don't believe Spike. He just doesn't like Angel for his own personal reasons."

"And they would be?"

Buffy raised her shoulders. "I don't know."

Joyce gave her an incredulous look and approached Buffy with a plate full of scrambled eggs and toast. She slide the plate in front of her daughter. "Buffy, I don't want you to see him again."

Buffy held a fork full of her scrambled egg up to her mouth then dropped it on the plate. "No. You can't control who I can and can't see."

"Actually I can." Joyce said confidently.

"No, you can't." Buffy spat back. "What are you going to do? Lock me in the basement? He goes to my school, I could easily…" Buffy stopped talking as she watched her mother shake her head side to side. "What?"

"That's the other thing I wanted to discuss with you." Joyce folded her hands together and took a deep breath. "I love you Buffy. I love you and Dawn more than life itself. I don't think I could live without either of you but these past few months have been wearing me out. I want to be by your side, Buff. But, I can see that can't happen right now. You need help from someone who can keep an eye on you at all times. Someone with much time on their hands. I have to work and take care of your sister."

Buffy tried to comprehend what her mom was saying. "Wait, are you…" She took a big gulp. "Are you sending me away?"

Joyce exhaled and looked deep into her daughters eyes. "Aunt Iva, my father's sister, recently retired. She lives in Boca Raton, Florida. She has a great apartment. Very good local schools. She's lonely and she's looking forward to seeing you again."

Buffy felt her head spin. This wasn't happening. She had to wake up! This wasn't real!

"No. No! I can't believe you're doing this to me!" Buffy jumped up from the table and ran toward her bedroom.

She didn't notice the tears that filled Joyce's eyes. Even though it was a hard decision, she knew it was the right now. Buffy needs careful attention and she can't give it to her right now.

"You have exactly one week!" Joyce shouted up to Buffy and she knew she heard her.

Buffy slammed her bedroom shut and dramatically flew herself across her bed. After a few minutes of sobbing into her pillow, she picked up the phone and dialed a number.

Buffy pressed the phone to her ear and listened as it rang over and over. Finally, someone answered.

"Hello?" Said a sleepy voice on the other end.

"Willow?" Buffy asked.

"Buffy! Hey, what happened to you last night? You went off with Angel and we couldn't find you. I tried calling last night but your mom said you weren't home yet."

"Willow, my mom is sending me away."

There was a brief pause on the other line. "What?"

"Yeah, my mom doesn't want me here anymore. She's sending me to Florida with my great Aunt. I don't want to go!" Buffy started sobbing.

"Buffy? Hang on. Give me half an hour. I'm coming over."

Buffy sniffed. "Thank you."

"I'll see you in a bit!"

Buffy hung up the phone and wrapped her arms around a pillow. She knew she could count on Willow. Perhaps she could convince her mom not to send her to Florida. Florida is on the other side of the country! How could her mother do that to her?! And what about Angel? She didn't even know his phone number!

* * *

30 minutes later Buffy heard a knock on the front door and jumped out of bed. She hurried down the stairs as Joyce greeted Willow.

"Well, hello Willow. It's so nice to see you again."

Willow smiled at Joyce but gasped when she saw Buffy. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. The tip of her nose and her cheeks were flushed red. Dark rings were underneath her eyes and she looked absolutely horrible.

Willow stepped inside and grabbed Buffy into a tight embrace. "Oh, Buffy. It's going to be okay."

Joyce decided to give them some privacy and walked back to the kitchen.

Buffy led Willow upstairs to her bedroom and explained everything. She told her about Angel and what happened between them. Spike finding them and bringing her home. Her moms plans to send her away.

Willow sat on the edge of the bed and her heart went out to her friend. "Buff, I know you're in pain right now but I have to say something." Buffy nodded for her to continue. "Those stories Spike told your mom, they aren't stories. They're all true."

Buffy just sat there with a blank look across her face. She felt numb. Could it get any worse? She let her mind wonder and decided that, yes, it could get worse. She remembered her step dad. The rape. Then her thoughts flickered to Angel. A girl accused him if rape. Did he really rape her? Only he and the girl know the true answer. If he did, she would despise him for the rest of her life. But she couldn't imagine Angel hurting a girl. He never forced her to anything. Something just didn't add up.

Willow watched as Buffy's face showed a wide range of emotions as she thought to herself.

"Buff, what are you thinking? Talk to me."

Buffy let a single silent tear slide down her cheek. "Willow, if I tell you something, will you keep it private?"

Willow gently nodded her head. "Of course. You can tell me anything."

"I've never told anyone this before."

"It's okay, tell me."

A few more tears glided down her flushed cheeks and she looked Willow straight in the eyes. "My step dad…he…he used to hurt me."

Willow felt her heart pounding faster. "What did he do to you?"

"He…he…" Buffy lost complete control and broke down. Her body shook as she sobbed against her pillow. She turned to her side and grab a hand full of her blanket tightly and her cries became loud and heart retching. Willow rubbed her back in circles to attempt to soothe her.

"Shh. It's okay. He can't hurt you anymore."

Buffy shook her head violently. "You don't understand. He hurts me everyday."

Willow gave her a puzzled look.

"Every minute of everyday. He hurts me over and over and over. It never stops. I can't escape it. I relive it 24/7." She snapped her eyes tightly and winced. "Every time I close my eyes, he's there. Waiting. Watching. Haunting. Every time I turn a corner I fear he will jump out at me. Every time I hear a sound in the distance I fear he is walking toward me. The images never leave my mind. I can see him clearly. I can smell him. I can feel him." Tears started streaming down now and she made no attempt to wipe them away. "I feel him inside me. Moving. Hurting. I can hear myself screaming. I just want to end! I want it all to go away!"

Willow's eyes clouded with tears as she watched her friend shake uncontrollably and described what she goes through everyday. All the pain she hides deep inside.

* * *

Willow continued to sit by Buffy's side. Wiping her tears, holding her close and acting like a good friend. It was unimaginable to picture what Buffy had went through. She had no idea. She promised to keep it a secret but something inside of her told her to relay this information to Joyce. Buffy needed help. Desperately.

Hours ticked by and eventually Willow rocked Buffy to sleep. After a few minutes Willow gently placed Buffy on the bed and threw a light blanket on top of her. She stared at Buffy's sleeping form and hoped she would forgive her for what she was about to do.

Willow stood up and exited Buffy's room to find Joyce.


	20. Bitter Goodbye

Buffy woke the next morning feeling like she was run over by a train. Her head pounded and her vision was fuzzy. She had cried the entire day yesterday. She rubbed her eyes and wondered when Willow left. She must have fallen asleep while she was there.

Buffy recalled their conversation yesterday. She completely opened up to her. She didn't tell her anymore detail other than saying her step dad hurt her and how she relived the memories. She didn't directly tell her about the rape but it was subtly implied. Willow had taken it quite well. She listened and stayed by her side. She was truly a great friend.

Buffy rolled over until she was on her other side. She practically flew off the bed when she noticed someone sitting in a chair, watching her.

Joyce watched her daughter all night long. She couldn't sleep after her conversation with Willow. Willow had told her everything Buffy said and she was glad she did.

"Good morning." Joyce whispered.

"Mom! Geez, what are you doing in my room? You scared me to death!"

Joyce stood up and walked over to the edge of Buffy's bed. She sat down, kissed her on the forehead and brushed the hair out of her eyes.

"I talked to Willow last night."

Buffy sat up straight and her pulse raced. No, no, no, no! As if they week could get any worse! "And?" Buffy winced when she heard how weak and full of emotion one word sounded.

"Buffy, why didn't you come to me? Please talk to me, baby. What happened?"

Buffy gazed into her mothers eyes for a few moments before glancing around the room.

"I have to pack." Buffy said abruptly as she pushed her mom away and stood up.

"Buffy, what are you doing? I want to talk to you."

Buffy went into her small closet and dragged out a suitcase. "So, talk. I'm listening. I may not talk back but you'll have to deal with that."

Joyce's opened her mouth and couldn't believe the attitude Buffy was giving her. Not to mention the immaturity of it all.

"Buffy, stop that. You are 16 years old. Start acting like it."

Buffy threw her suitcase against the carpet and glared at her mother. "Don't presume to tell me what to do. You disowned me! I never want to see you again after I go to Florida. You want me gone, you got it. For the rest of your life, you will never have to see me again. I promise you that much."

Joyce couldn't described the emotions flowing through her. She was speechless. Buffy had never spoken to her in such a manner. She is her mother! And she deserves respect. Buffy didn't realize everything she had done for her. She never knew about the pain she endured herself. She couldn't handle it any longer. Joyce wanted to release her pent up frustration and scream at her daughter. But she didn't. Buffy is 16 years old now. She's almost an adult and if she doesn't want to be treated like a child then she'll have to live without her mother. Temporarily of course. Joyce knew Buffy would never abandon her completely.

Joyce stood up gracefully and never even glanced at her daughter. She simply turned around and left. Once she closed the bedroom door, she slumped against the wall and slid down until she was sitting on the floor, legs stretched in front of her.

How did this happen? How did her family get torn apart so quickly? What kind of mother had she become? She couldn't prevent it this time, tears spilled from her eyes and she had to hold her hand over her mouth to keep from crying out.

Inside the bedroom, Buffy fell to the floor and sobbed. She couldn't believe how cruel she was to her mother. And she couldn't believe her mom's response. She left. She just walked out. It only confirmed Buffy's suspensions. Joyce didn't love her. She didn't care. She walked out on her. If she had cared, she would have stayed. She would have begged Buffy to talk to her. But she just left. Abandoned her.

* * *

Days passed by slowly. Buffy ended all communication with Willow. She trusted her and Willow betrayed her! She promised to keep it a secret! She should have known better than to trust anyone in this town. Everyone turned against her. She was leaving in 3 days and she spoke to no one. She skipped school. What was the point of going? She was leaving them all behind. She spent all day in bed. Crying. Daydreaming.

Dawn came up to talk to her a few times. But she eventually gave up. Buffy didn't want the company. She knew she was hurting Dawn by rejecting her, but she didn't want Dawn to be influenced by her. She needed to keep Dawn far away as possible. She didn't want her to end up like this. Never ending nightmares, the urge to cut your own flesh and never letting anyone inside your head. Never allowing help.

Buffy tossed and turned and glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand. 5:30 in the morning. Buffy groaned and punched her pillow. She couldn't sleep. She stayed in bed all day. It was nearly impossible to get tired like she used to. She became a lazy bum. Sitting in bed all day, not talking to anyone and being completely miserable. Suddenly, she thought of an interesting idea. Instead of waiting to sleep she could pay someone a little visit. Someone she had to see. Someone she loathed and blamed for her current misery.

She hopped out of bed and ran straight toward the shower. She washed her greasy hair and scrubbed her body. It had been days since she showered. She lacked the motivation.

A few minutes later she dressed in a green graphic tee and light blue jeans. She threw her wet hair into a messy bun and ran out of the house. She walked all the way to her destination. She stared up at the house and grinned. It was time to let him have a piece of her mind.

She ran up the porch and knocked harshly against the door. She waited for a response and was left with silence. This time she banged on the door until she heard a click on the other side. She took a couple steps back and placed her hands on her hips.

The door creaked open and the man had a baseball bat in his hands, ready to swing at the intruder. His eyes adjusted to the darkness outside and he got a good look the woman banging on the door at 6 am.

"Buffy?"

Buffy licked her lips. "Hello, Spike."

"What are doing here? Do you know what time it is?"

Buffy laughed. "Am I interrupting your beauty sleep? Did you have a rough night? I bet you put all your energy into…" She stopped when she noticed movement behind Spike. Dru popped her head underneath Spike's arm and she looked like a mess. Her dark hair was tangled and she had bags under her eyes.

Dru looked at Buffy and wrinkled her forehead. "What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"I need to talk to him." Buffy said as she pointed at Spike.

"It's okay, love." Spike told Dru. "Go back to bed. I'll handle this."

Dru stood still and raised her eyebrows at her fiancé. "I'm coming back down here if you're not in bed soon."

Spike nodded and kissed her on the cheek. Dru cast a sideways glance at Buffy and grabbed Spikes chin and jammed her tongue inside his mouth. Spike stumbled backwards and tried to catch his breath when Dru finally released him. "I'll be waiting for you upstairs, baby. Don't take too long. I have needs." She purred at Spike.

Buffy felt sick to her stomach and rolled her eyes. Spike stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind him.

"What's this about, Buffy?"

Buffy chuckled and shook her head. "Oh, don't you know? You should know. You're the reason this is happening to me."

Spike shook his head in confusion. "Know what? What is happening to you?"

"My mom is sending me to Florida to live with my great Aunt because of you."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"Hmm, let me think about that for a second." Brief pause. "Oh, I know! Because you had to tell her stories about Angel! Because of those stories she thought I would get into more trouble and decided she'd rather abandon me!"

Spike still look confused. "I don't see the connection Buffy. Look, whatever Joyce's reasons are for sending you to Florida, they have nothing to do with me."

"How would you know?" Buffy asked, her voice full of venom.

"Your mom told me she thought about doing this for awhile now."

Buffy put a hand up. "Wait. You knew about this?"

Spike slowly nodded her head.

"You son-of-a-bitch!"

"What's wrong with you, Buffy? This isn't you. What's going on?"

Buffy started laughing but it soon turned into crying. Spike relaxed his body and walked over to her. He cradled her in his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head.

Buffy accepted his embraced and lightly dug into his back. She was breaking down. She couldn't stop it. She used to be able to contain her emotions. She knew how to make people think she was feeling whatever she wanted them to believe. Now, here she was, crying in Spikes arms. Staining his shirt with her tears.

She pulled back slowly and looked into Spike's eyes. "I'm so sorry." She said before she spun on her heel and ran away from the house, from Spike. Spike watched her go. There was nothing he could do for her now. He hoped she would get the help she needed in Florida. He hoped the next time he saw her, she would have battled her demons.

* * *

The three days passed by quickly and Joyce drove Buffy to the airport. Buffy left without saying goodbye to anyone. Dawn sat silently in the backseat. She and Buffy not be speaking to each other but she would rather die then say goodbye to her sister.

Joyce and Dawn walked with Buffy inside the airport. They checked her bags and walk with her until they reached the security check point.

"You have 40 minutes until your plane takes off. Do you want to grab something to eat before you leave us?" Joyce asked her, her voice hopefully.

Buffy gently shook her head. "I'm not hungry." Those were the first words she spoke since she last saw Spike.

Dawn frowned and looked away from her sister. It was too much to handle.

Buffy reached out to Dawn and captured her in a tight hug. Dawn was reluctant at first but then she realized this may be the last time they see each other. Buffy could easily abandon them. She'll be 18 in less than 2 years. She could walk out of their lives and never be heard from again. She wrapped her arms around Buffy tightly.

"Write to me, Buff. Email or hand written letters, I don't care. Just write to me. And call me. Please."

Buffy squeezed her sister tighter and let tears fall freely down her face.

"I promise."

Buffy released Dawn and Joyce moved forward to grab her daughter. "I love you, baby. Don't you forget that. I want you to call me the moment you arrive in Florida, understand?"

Buffy nodded her head.

Joyce kissed her cheek. "I'm going to call you everyday, please be there to talk to me."

Buffy didn't say anything, she loosened her grip on her mom and clutched her purse. She took one last look at her family before walking down the terminal. Joyce held Dawn tightly as they watched Buffy leave them.

* * *

Buffy kept her promise to Dawn. They wrote emails at least 10 times a week. Buffy talked to her mom on the phone everyday. Dawn always cut in to say hello and to hear her sister's voice. Eventually, Dawn and Buffy wrote to each other less. Joyce's phone calls decreased.

Buffy started seeing a therapist, she made friends at her new school and became a brand new Buffy. She continued living in Florida and counted the days she stayed. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned into years.


	21. A New Life

Buffy woke as light filtered through the window and her alarm clock went off. Time for a brand new day. She smiled to herself and stretched in her cozy queen sized bed. Her hand gently switch the alarm off and she slid out of bed. She threw a robe around her thin body and entered the living room. She smiled down at the two little girls sleeping on the living room floor and bundled in blankets.

They both had long dark blonde hair that curled at the ends. She gently tip toed past the girls and unlocked the front door for her visitors arriving in a few minutes. One of the little girls yawned loudly and slowly began sit up.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Buffy said sweetly at the youngest girl.

The little girl smiled at her and stretched her arms and legs.

"Hey!" Came another young female voice when her sister accidentally hit her.

Buffy grabbed the remote control off of the coffee table and turned the TV to Cartoon Network. "You guys wanna watch some cartoons while I take a shower?"

Both girls responded by running to the couch and began watching the 32 inch flat screen TV.

"Momma's gonna be here soon. Chloe, can see keep an eye on Avery? Make sure she doesn't get into anything."

Chloe, the oldest girl, nodded her head without taking her eyes off of the TV.

Buffy walked to the master bedroom's bathroom and took a nice, long shower. Twenty minutes later she exited the bathroom and entered the living room when she heard voices. A thick and very comfortable green towel wrapped her body as she slowly entered the living room. A woman and a man both in their early 30's chatted with the girls on the couch and they told her about their exciting weekend with Buffy.

Buffy took the girls to Disney World on Friday. Sea World on Saturday. And they went to the movie theatre on Sunday, ate ice cream and bought new summer outfits.

The older woman glanced at Buffy and gave her a loving smile. "Thank you so much for watching the girls. Chloe told me she had an 'awesome' time."

"I think I enjoyed it more than the girls." Buffy lightly chuckled to herself. "It's been a long time since I actually interacted with someone outside of work."

The woman stood up and left the girls with her husband. She followed Buffy into the kitchen and leaned against the counter.

"You work too much, kid. You should take a vacation for a couple of weeks. Get outta here, meet some cute guys."

Buffy smiled. "Actually, I am leaving. Tomorrow, to be exact."

"Oh? Tell me more! Does this involve a guy?"

Buffy laughed and shook her head. "No, my sister."

The woman raised an eyebrow. "Dawn?"

"Yeah, she wants me to go back to Sunnydale for her graduation ceremony and after party."

"Jesus. Dawn is graduating already? Wow, how time flies. She was just 15 the last time she came down here, wasn't she?"

Buffy nodded her head. "Yep. And now she's 18. It's been a long time since I've talked to her, or anyone in Sunnydale. She just called out of the blue and practically begged me to fly over to see her graduate. She's very excited about being finished with High School and going to college."

The woman shook her head in amusement. "I can't even imagine what she looks like now. She was just a little kid when we last saw her." There was a brief pause as the women watched the girls show off their new clothes to their father. The older woman looked back at Buffy. "You remember when you were Dawn's age?"

Buffy laughed. "Oh yeah. That seems like such a long time ago."

The woman playfully hit Buffy's shoulder. "Girl, please. You're 22 years old. It was only 4 years ago. I just keep thinking about how much you've changed between 16 and 18 years old. It was a huge transformation. You were this scared, hurt little girl when you first moved in with my mom, rest her soul. By the time you turned 18 you were this magnification mature young lady. I hope Dawn is half the woman you are. She'd be absolutely brilliant."

Buffy smiled shyly. "This is going to be a terrifying experience." The woman gave her a confused look and Buffy explained. "Come on, Jody. I haven't seen these people since I was 16 years old. Except for my mother and my sister. It's been 6 years since I've seen Willow, Tara, Xander, Angel…Spike." She sighed as she remembered the last time she saw that man. How unstable she was. "They're all going to be there. Dawn's gradation party. I'm embarrassed to show myself to them. I was so weak and scared. They probably think I'm a psycho now."

Jody rubbed Buffy's shoulder. "They'll take one look at you and know that's completely untrue. You are a beautiful and mature young woman. You march through that town with confidence. Show them how much you've grown and how brilliant you've become. Those boys will drop to their knees and worship you and those girls will look at you with eyes full of envy."

Buffy laughed, "Oh, I doubt that." She glanced at the clock on the microwave. "Ugh, I gotta get ready for work."

Jody smiled and embraced her cousin. "Have a good day, hun. If I don't talk to you by the time you leave for California then I want you to have a great flight. And remember, be confident. Show them all how much you've changed."

Buffy pulled back and smiled. "Thank you, Jo."

Jody glanced back at the girls. "Chloe. Avery. Come say goodbye to Buffy."

The girls both ran over and threw their arms around Buffy.

Chloe had just turned 7 and finished the first grade. She has large blue-green eyes and looks almost identical to Jody. Her long dark blonde hair cascaded down to the middle of her back. Her hair was straight except for the ends, which had small curls. Avery's 5th birthday is 2 months away and she's going to start kindergarten in the fall. She has crystal blue eyes and looks very similar to Chloe. She also has dark blonde hair that curled at the end. Her hair is an inch past her shoulders and a bit thinner than her sister's hair.

Buffy dyed her hair dark brown every few months since she was 20 years old. She has a medium dark tan, not quite as dark as most people in Florida. She works in an office building and rarely has time to lay out in the sun all day. Her hair reached past her elbows a few weeks ago, but she finally decided to get it cut and it now rested a couple of inches past her shoulders. She worked out daily and kept in good shape. Her arms were slightly muscular but still feminine looking. Her abs were tight and flat. Her legs were long and slender. Her style of clothes changed drastically. She now preferred a business look and dressed mostly in silk blouses and black slacks or skirts.

Buffy said goodbye to the girls and dressed in a silky silver-blue tank top blouse and black pin striped slacks.

Her office building was located in downtown Orlando and she lived in a nearby suburb 15 minutes away. She moved near Orlando when she was 18 for college and graduated exactly one year ago. She used to share an apartment with her two friends from college but they each went their separate ways after graduation. Lily only moved to Florida for college and went back to Maine just two weeks after school ended. Alicia was born and raised in Jacksonville and returned home for a short period before moving to Chicago. Now, it was just Buffy. Still in Orlando. Without any family nearby, except for Jody, Chloe and Avery. But they lived in Boca Raton and she only saw them occasionally. She saw the girls more this past weekend than she has in the past two years. Her Aunt Iva passed away when Buffy was 19. She missed her terribly.

Jody's husband, Bill, had a business meeting in New York and took his wife with him. Buffy volunteered to watch the girls over the weekend so Jody didn't have to drag them along or hire a babysitter for 3 days.

* * *

Buffy worked until 6 pm and came home to an empty apartment. She walked straight into the kitchen and cooked a small bowl of rice for dinner. It was her tradition. A tradition that needed to change. She was tired of being alone. All her co-workers were already married, dating or too old for her. She hung out with a few women from work about once a month but they were all married and had children so they never stayed out too long. Buffy was the youngest woman in her department and couldn't relate to most of her co-workers.

She longed to have a companion. It's been so long since she had been in a relationship. She's been on a few dates in the past couple of years but none of the men appealed to her. She hasn't met a man she wanted since Jared. She met Jared her senior year in high school while traveling to Orlando to look at college's. They met and became friends overtime. They talked online for months, then one day, Jared decided to visit Boca Raton and spent an entire week with her. Just hours after he arrived, they became more than friends. He was a freshman in college and the main reason why Buffy chose that particular college. They were together for 3 years and she loved him more than anything else. At least until he left her for another woman. A young freshman came around and captured his heart. Buffy sighed sadly at the memories and spent another night alone.

She fell asleep around 11 pm and her last thought was about Sunnydale. Tomorrow she will have to face her past.

* * *

**This is the big turning point in the story. Please read and review so I can know if anyone is even reading this!**


	22. Broken Hearted

**Thanks for all of the reviews! I love reading them! It really inspires me to write more!**

* * *

_Six Years Earlier_

Spike began pacing around the small room.

"You're making me dizzy. Sit down, man."

Spike looked at the man sharply. "Am I doing the right thing, Sam?" His hands were starting to visibly shake and he clapped them together to keep from embarrassment. "Why are we rushing this? I'm still young. We could wait, couldn't we?"

Sam laughed lightly and stood next to his friend. He gently squeezed Spike's shoulders. "Relax man, it's normal." Spike only tensed even more. Sam sighed, "Do you love her?"

Spike stood perfectly still and thought for a moment before nodding his head. "Yes. I do."

"That's all that matters." Sam smiled. "And remember that last line."

Spike sat down on the ottoman abruptly and rubbed his temples. "Do you think she would live me at the alter?"

Sam kneeled in front of Spike. "Look at me, Spike." Spike reluctantly met his gaze and blinked nervously. "You've been looking forward to this day for months. Don't let last minute nerves stop you from enjoying this day. You're getting married, man! Smile. Be happy." Sam laughed and shook his head. "I knew the brides often experienced cold feet but this," He indicated to Spike. "this is new to me." Spike broke off the eye contact and sighed deeply. "Do you want to marry Drusilla?"

Spike smiled for the first time in hours. "Yes. Yes, I do."

A sudden knock came on the door. "Mr. Hartford, we're ready for you."

Spike stood up quickly and Sam patted his back. "Let's get you married."

Spike chuckled, "You're next."

Sam responded quickly. "Hell naw! I'm a bachelor for life, bro!"

* * *

_11 Months Later_

Spike drove home after a long, miserable day at work. He accepted a full time teaching job at a local community college and the kids were driving him on the brink of insanity. Two male students in one of his classes despised each other and took their anger out in his class on more than one occasion. He was sick of hearing about their affairs and constantly having to restrain them from killing each other while trying to teach the students who actually wanted to learn. The only reason he hasn't thrown them out of the class was because they desperately needed to pass this course if they wanted to succeed in their future plans. He often had to play Dr. Phil and make them realize their differences. They always left being civilized but days later…It just continued on a loop and he was near the breaking point.

He wanted nothing more than to come home to his wife and relax. If he could relax. He couldn't think of anything that would make him forget about the dreadful day he would encounter yet again.

He finally pulled into the driveway and saw Dru moving around in the kitchen through the window. He groaned as he stepped out of the car and lowered his shoulders as he walked into the house. Once inside, he threw his brief case on a chair and followed the smell of Roast Beef into the kitchen. He snuck up behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned against his chest and laughed with delight. She twisted around in his arms until she was facing him. His arms were still wrapped around her tightly and she threw her arms around his neck and stood on the tips of her toes to kiss him.

"I have great news," Drusilla purred at her husband.

"Mmm?" Spike replied as kissed her forehead.

She smiled brightly and had a radiant glow around her face. "We're going to have an addition to our family!"

A slow smile crept on his face and he hungrily captured his mouth with hers. They kissed passionately for several minutes until Spike finally pulled away and rested his hand on her stomach. "I thought nothing would be able to pull me out of my grumpy mood, but you, my dear, have just given me the best news I have received in my entire life."

* * *

_8 Months Later_

Spike gazed down at his beautiful son resting in his arms. He never knew he could love someone so much that he just met. For the first time in his life, Spike realized this is the reason why he was born. He was the happiest man in the world right now and nothing could take that away.

Spike stole a glance at his wife, who was lying on the hospital bed beside him, and smiled. "He looks just like you." Spike whispered to Drusilla.

The little boy had a small patch of brown hair and he could see apart of Dru in his facial features. He was going to be a very handsome boy indeed.

Spike heard talking from a distance and saw Sam enter the room a few seconds later, he held flowers in one hand and a white teddy bear with a blue ribbon wrapped around it's neck in the other. He smiled sweetly at the sight before him and leaned over Spike to get a good look at the little boy.

Spike looked at Sam's face and for a brief moment he could have swore he heard Sam wince when he looked at the baby. But the thought escaped his mind when he began to speak. "Now we have another little guy to run around and torture the people of Sunnydale, just like his daddy."

Spike raised an eyebrow, "Torture, says you. Improving, says I."

Sam forced a smile and looked over at Drusilla, who turned her face away from him.

Spike barely paid attention to their reaction toward each other. He was too busy adoring his son.

"What's his name?" Sam asked.

"Aaron. Aaron William Hartford." Spike replied instantly.

* * *

_2 Years Later_

Spike laid across the couch and cuddled Aaron against his chest. They were both sleeping peacefully and the sound of their rhythmic breathing was soft and soothing. It was nearly 1 am and the faint glow from the TV was the only source of light in the entire room.

Spike slowly opened his eyes and noticed where he was. He was laying in the living room with his son. He must've fell asleep with Aaron while watching Conan O'Brien.

He picked up the remote and turned the TV off then he gently cradled his son and stood up to bring him upstairs in his crib. While walking up the steps he heard Drusilla talking. He couldn't make out what she was saying but she was in their bedroom with the door shut and he could see the light was on because of the small crack underneath the door. He continued to walk to Aaron's bedroom and placed the boy in his crib and gently tucked him in, being careful not to wake him. He placed a kiss on his forehead before exiting the room and appearing in the hallway. He slowly crept toward his bedroom door to see what Dru was doing when he heard her speak.

"…your lazy ass…oooh, that must make it okay, then…excuse me?…deadbeat…selfish bastard."

He could only make out a few words but as he got closer, the clearer they became.

"He's your damn son. The least you could do is look at him."

Spike froze. Who was she talking to? And what boy was she referring to? He waited by the door for several moments until he couldn't hear anymore talking. He opened the door and peeked inside and noticed Dru quickly turning her head to face him. Her eyes were slightly puffy, as if she had been crying and she looked pissed off.

"Dru, what's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "Who were you talking to?"

She stiffened and waited a few seconds to regain her composure. "My sister." She said softly. "I'm fine, love. Just tired." She walked over to her husband and kissed him gently.

Spike looked at her curiously and Dru sank back uncomfortably. It'd been awhile since they've been intimate. He and Drusilla were slowly drifting apart. He kept trying to bring them closer but Dru insisted they were fine and she wasn't acting differently. But she was. She slowly started growing more distant since the birth of their son. He knew raising a child was difficult but he couldn't understand why she became so reserved around him. He noticed the odd looks she made when he played with Aaron but thought maybe she was jealous of the time he spent focusing on their son and not her.

Dru went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Spike pulled off his shirt and threw it in the hamper when something caught his eye. He noticed the cordless phone sitting on the nightstand and cautiously picked it up. He glanced around before hitting the redial button and noticed that Sam's number appeared. He was unsure if Dru called the mystery person she was talking to or if the person was calling her. Surely she wasn't just talking to Sam. But he couldn't remember calling him recently. In fact, they rarely talked now. The last time he could remember really hanging with him was two years ago. Spike looked at the time the call was made: 12:52 am. Just a few minutes before Spike put Aaron to bed. He replayed Drusilla's words in his head and realized there was a connection between the time Dru started changing and Sam suddenly became too busy to hang out. Spike shook his head. No, he had to be wrong. Dru would never betray him like that and Sam was his best friend. It was impossible.

Spike pressed the button again so it would call the last number dialed. It rang 3 times before he heard Sam's voice.

"What the hell do you want from me? Stop calling here! I'm sick of this shit. I don't care if he's my son. Leave me the fuck alone!"

Spike's face went pale and he dropped the phone to the floor. He ran a hand threw his hair and thought about what he just heard. Finally putting everything together, he barged over to the bathroom and yanked the door open, startling Drusilla. He walked in and grabbed Dru by the wrists and spun her around to face him.

"Did you have an affair with Sam? Does he believe he is Aaron's father?"

Dru's eyes widened and she glanced at the tight grasp Spike had around her wrists. "You're hurting me, Spike. Let go."

Spike realized how tightly he was holding her and released her.

"Tell me, right now. What's going on with you and Sam? Why did he just refer to **my** son as his?"

Dru couldn't handle lying anymore. She decided to just tell him the truth. "Because Aaron **is** his son."

Spike took a step back and shook his head. "No. He's mine."

Dru lowered her head. "I made him take a paternity test. Aaron is his."

Spikes eyes filled with anger and he felt like running into Aaron's room and holding him in his arms. Aaron is **his** son, not Sam's!

Dru tried calming Spike down but he wouldn't obey. He needed to do something.

Minutes later he arrived at Sam's apartment and banged on the door. He heard Sam shout something and he ripped the door open. His face was a look of pure shock when he saw Spike on the other end.

Spike didn't waste anytime, he drew his arm back and slammed a fist against Sam's jaw. Sam stumbled backwards and Spike pushed him until he fell on the ground.

"I trusted you! You were my best friend!" Spike shouted at the man who was rubbing his jaw and still surprised by this sudden attack.

"I could kill you **right now**." Spike screamed. "I desperately want to but you're not worth the consequences you pathetic piece of scum." He jerked Sam by the collar of his shirt and made him stand up as he threw him against the wall. "You listen to me now, **I** am Aaron's father. I don't care if DNA proves otherwise. I have been with that little boy everyday of his life and that isn't going to chance. Stay the hell away from him. You can keep Drusilla but you are not to go near **my** son. Got it?" Spike released him and pushed him back to the ground.

Sam could have easily fought back but he didn't. He knew he deserved what was happening. Apart of him wished that Spike would kill him.

Spike fled the apartment building and slammed his fist against the brick wall. What was he going to do now?

* * *

_Present Day_

Spike ran into the store quickly to grab some groceries. There was practically nothing left in his refrigerator. He grabbed a cart and turned into an aisle when he almost collided with a woman.

"I'm so sor…" He stopped as he got a good look at the woman in front of him.

Drusilla stared back into Spike's eyes and she looked just as surprised as he did. The little boy standing next to her grabbed something from the shelf and raised it up as far as he could.

"I want this one mommy!" The boy said eagerly.

"Put it in the cart, baby."

The boy flung it into the cart and went to stand next to his mom again. He looked up at Spike shyly while grabbing his mother's leg.

Spike smiled down at the boy and Dru noticed the look in his eyes when he saw the boy.

"Aaron, this is an old friend of mommy's." Dru said as she looked down at the boy. "Do you want to say hello?"

The little boy hid behind his mom and Dru smiled weakly. "He's shy." She told Spike.

Spike nodded understandingly.

Dru smiled again. "He's grown a lot since you last saw him, hasn't he?"

Spike was barely able to speak. "Yeah. He definitely has."

"He'll be five in a few months." Dru said causally.

"I know. I remember his birthday."

Dru looked away sadly. A man came up behind her and kissed Dru on the cheek. Spike had never seen him before. The man put a couple of items in the cart before noticing Spike was standing there.

"Dennis, this is Spike. Spike, this is my husband Dennis."

Spike was a bit taken back by that announcement but said hello to her new husband and they shook hands.

Aaron grabbed something from the cart and raised it in front of Dennis. "Daddy, look what I got!"

Spike felt his entire body fill with pain. He called Dennis 'daddy'. Spike used to be daddy to that little boy but Aaron had forgotten all about him now. Dennis wasn't even his biological child. Sam was. What a sad little man Sam turned out to be. As far as Sam was concerned, he didn't have a son. Spike couldn't bear being with Drusilla after he found out the truth about her and Sam. He didn't care if Aaron wasn't his biologically. He still loved him like a son. Spike filed for divorce days later and honestly believed Dru would continue to let Spike see his him. But she refused. She didn't want him or Sam to be apart of Aaron's life. Apparently she met another man. A man Aaron believed to be his father.

Spike said goodbye to the couple and his eyes glazed over as he watched Aaron walk away from him. He sighed deeply. He was supposed to be Dennis right now. He was supposed to be the man Aaron called 'daddy'.

Spike arrived home just in time to hear the phone ringing. He rushed over to pick it up and heard Dawn's voice on the other end.

"Hey Spike! Listen, I made a few changes about tomorrow. The party is going to start at 5 pm instead of 4."

"Oh, okay. Why the one hour change at the last minute?" Spike asked her.

"Well, graduation ends at 3 pm and I realized that wouldn't give me much time to spend alone with my sister before the party starts."

Spike froze. "Buffy is coming back?"

"Well, yeah. Duh! She's my sister and I'm graduating! Well, I gotta call some more people to let them know not to show up an hour early. I'll talk to you later."

He heard the phone click and listened to the dial tone for a few short moments before hanging up. He couldn't believe it. Buffy was coming back. He smiled to himself, it'd been such a long time since he saw her. She has to be in her early 20's by now. He suddenly felt hope for the first time in a long time. He was going to see Buffy again.

* * *

**I originally intended on having Spike tell Buffy what happened to him over the past 6 years in a short summary but decided it would be better to have a chapter from his point of view. Next chapter, Buffy arrives in Sunnydale! Please review!**


	23. Return To Sunnydale

Buffy's eyes snapped open as she heard a woman announcing the descent to California. She straightened up and smoothed out her blouse as the people around her sat their chairs up and closed their trays. Her thin fingers ran through her dark hair and she groaned when she felt a tangle. She grabbed her purse from underneath her seat and pulled out a small comb to untangle her hair. The sun light coming from the small window beamed in her eyes and she felt as though she temporarily went blind. She shielded her eyes and dropped her comb on the floor after she blindly attempted to put it back in her purse.

The woman sitting next to her chuckled and bent over to retrieve the comb.

"Here you go, dear." The woman handed the comb to Buffy.

Buffy smiled kindly. "Thank you."

"You headed home?" The woman asked her out of curiosity.

"I guess you could call it that." Buffy replied. "I'm visiting my mom and sister but technically I live in Florida."

"Ah." The woman nodded her head.

Buffy smiled and suddenly felt chatty. "Yeah, it's my sister's high school graduation today."

The woman laughed and Buffy looked at her with a slightly raised eyebrow.

"Valley West High?" The older woman asked.

Buffy shook her head. "Sunnydale."

"Mmm." The woman's smile faded slightly. "It would've been an amazing coincidence if your sister was graduating from Valley West. That's where I'm headed."

Buffy laughed. "That would have been something. Who are you going to see?"

"My niece."

The small talk continued until the passengers on the plane stood up and gather their belongings. One by one, people walked off the plane and into the airport. Buffy took a deep breath and suddenly felt nervous about being back in California.

She pulled out her cell phone and called her mother.

"Are you finally here?" She heard Joyce ask cheerfully on the other line.

Buffy couldn't help but smile. She was minutes away from being reunited with her mother. "Yeah. I just stepped off the plane."

The woman Buffy sat next to one plane brushed passed her and waved. Buffy waved back and her smile grew wider.

"I'm waiting by the baggage claim. I have a surprise guest with me."

"Oh, really? Who'd you bring?" She knew it couldn't be Dawn since she should be at the school getting ready for the ceremony.

"You'll find out! Hurry!"

Buffy laughed and began following the people that were on the same plane as her towards baggage claim. "I'll be there in about 2 minutes."

"See you soon!" Joyce said before hanging up.

Buffy stuffed her phone back inside her purse and felt her stomach do flip flops as she saw the escalator that headed straight to baggage claim.

The airport was crowded and it was difficult for Buffy to shift through the group of people to find her mom and the mysterious guest.

"Buffy!"

Buffy spun around when she heard the familiar voice shot her name. A blonde woman waved her arms wildly and she immediately recognized the woman. Joyce.

Joyce's eyes widened as she took in her daughters appearance. Her hair was darker and she looked so grown up!

Buffy closed the gap between them and Joyce pulled her into a tight hug. Joyce inhaled the scent of her daughter and didn't want to release her. It had been so long since she held Buffy.

Buffy pulled back and her mom reluctantly let her do so.

"You are so beautiful." Joyce gushed at her daughter.

Buffy looked down modestly and smiled shyly. "I get it from you."

Joyce smiled widely and embraced her daughter once again. "Oh, I've missed you so much, baby!"

Buffy remembered there was supposed to be a special guest with her. Where was this person?

"Where's the visitor?" Buffy asked.

Joyce let go of her daughter and turned her head towards a person standing a few feet away. Buffy's eyes locked with the young red headed woman and within 5 seconds, the woman was directly in front of Buffy and threw her arms around her.

"Willow! Oh my god!"

"I've missed you so much!" Willow backed away to get a better look at Buffy. "You dyed her hair! It looks great!"

After a few minutes of catching up, Joyce and Willow followed Buffy as she grabbed her suitcase. The trio walked into the parking garage and helped Buffy put her suitcase in the trunk of Joyce's car.

"We have two hours before Dawn's graduation starts and it'll take a little over an hour to get to Sunnydale." Joyce said she slide into the drivers seat. Willow motioned for Buffy to sit up front as she crawled into the backseat. "Do you want to stop by the house first or just head over to the school?"

"It honestly doesn't matter to me. Whichever you would be easier for you." Buffy replied.

Joyce patted Buffy's hand and smiled. "Let's go to the house first and we can get your suitcase up your room."

My room? Buffy thought. She never thought of her old bedroom as her room. She figured her mom probably turned it into an office or something.

* * *

With 35 minutes left until Dawn's graduation starts, Joyce pulled into the driveway to her house and helped Buffy with her suitcase.

The house was different then Buffy remembered. The house looked smaller and there were little details that she never noticed before.

Once inside, Buffy looked around and noticed there was a new TV and couch. Even a new coffee table. It looked nicer than before. More modern. Buffy followed Joyce and Willow upstairs into her bedroom.

She couldn't believe her eyes. It was exactly the same. Nothing was removed or changed. She had a sudden flashback of the last night she spent in the room and wished those memories would go away. She didn't want to remember how distraught she was back then.

"It's exactly the same." Buffy said out loud.

"I couldn't touch it." Joyce said sadly. "I always hoped you would come back."

Willow glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand. "We should probably get going. It's almost time and I'm sure everyone is dying to see Buffy. Xander practically attached himself to me and begged me to bring him with us. It look a lot of effort to keep him here!"

Buffy would have laughed but she was too deep in thought. She never knew she was missed. It came as a surprise to her.

* * *

A few minutes later Joyce parked her car in the school parking lot. It was crowded with parents and kids heading to the back of the school, where the ceremony was being held.

Buffy walked directly in between Joyce and Willow. Willow was twisting and turning her head, looking for her friends, probably. Joyce couldn't stop talking about how grown up her beautiful daughters were and how proud she is of how they turned out.

The graduation was just about to start so the three women took a seat without finding Xander or anyone else.

Something caught Buffy's eye and she turned her head to see a man, woman and a small child walked past her and take a seat a few rows in front of her. She couldn't get a good glimpse but he seemed familiar somehow. She stared at him and almost gasped when the man turned his head and she got a good view of his profile. Spike. Spike has a son? Well, duh, she told herself. He should be married now. And he has a child. She didn't know why it surprised her or why she suddenly felt…jealous. The woman with Spike, Drusilla, looked behind her and her eyes fell on Buffy.

Dru gave her a slight smile to Buffy and turned to Spike to whisper something. Spike stiffened and slowly turned his head around. And she saw her. Buffy.

* * *

**Sorry it took so long to update! I've been very busy with school and family. So sorry! I hope people are still interested in reading!**

**Also, Spike and Dru ARE divorced. This is just from Buffy's point of view. Wait until next chapter to see why Dru and Spike and her son are together at the graduation.**


	24. Reconnecting

_Earlier That Morning_

Spike stepped out of the shower and dried himself off. He looked at his reflection and sighed. He was 27 years old, divorced and completely alone in the world. His former bleached blonde hair was now nearly black, his forehead wrinkled when he lifted his brows and soft but noticeable wrinkles formed around his eyes when he smiled. He hated how the stress caused him to look older than he was.

A piercing shrill echoed through the entire apartment and Spike jumped slightly. It was the house phone. He rushed out of the bathroom and jogged into the living room and answer the phone. He glanced at the clock on his DVR before picking up the phone. It was only a few minutes after 7 am. No one usually called that early.

"Hello?"

Spike heard a sniff coming from the other end of the phone.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

He could hear someone take a deep breath and he pressed his ear even closer to the speaker so he could hear better.

"Spike?" Asked a woman. Her nose sounded stuffed and she had clearly been crying or she was deathly ill.

"Yes?"

"It's Dru. Look, I know Aaron isn't your son but…" Her speech blurred together and Spike could barely make out a word she was saying.

"Dru? Calm down. What's going on?"

Dru choked back a sob and tried speaking clearer. "I'm in the emergency room. I…"

"Oh my God. Are you okay? What happened?" Spike interrupted.

"No, no, it's not me. I'm fine. But…"

"Aaron? Did something happen?" He suddenly felt his world cave in. It was almost as bad as when he discovered that Aaron wasn't his son.

There was a voice in the background but Spike couldn't tell what the person was saying.

"Listen, Spike," Dru said almost too fast for him to understand, "the doctor is here. I have to go. Can you meet me inside the hospital?"

"Yeah. Yes. I'm on my way now."

Spike hung up abruptly and threw on some clothes. He didn't know what was going on but it somehow involved Aaron and that scared the hell out of him. He would die for that kid. Literally. It didn't matter if Aaron didn't remember him but Spike would never forget that little boy and how it felt to hold him for the first time.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Spike barged into the emergency room and scanned the area for Drusilla. He felt a hand touch his shoulder and he spun around to come face to face with Dru. Her eyes were puffy and red and she looked terrible.

"What happened?" Spike asked her. He needed to know what was going on. Did Dennis hurt Aaron? If he did, he would…

Spike lost his train of thought when he eyes fell upon a little boy sitting down on a chair. It was Aaron. He looked completely healthy. What was going on? Was this a trick?

"It's Dennis." Dru said as she followed Spike's gaze towards Aaron.

"We've been having problems with the car," Dru continued, "Something is wrong with the brakes. Dennis said he would get it looked at. It wasn't so bad that it needed immediate attention. This morning he left for work and an hour later I got a call from the hospital. They said he was in a car accident. The brake pedal wouldn't work. Not even the emergency brake. He couldn't stop the car and he almost ran into a truck so he swerved and crashed into a building." She paused for a brief moment to look at her son and then she looked back up at Spike. "It's bad, Spike. He's lost a lot of blood and the doctors think he may have brain damage. They're going to do tests. He's in surgery now. I don't know what to do. What am I going to tell Aaron if Denis…if he…" She couldn't finish the last word. It was too hard to say.

Spike wrapped his arms around his ex-wife and pulled her against him. He didn't know what to say. What was he supposed to do? All he could offer was a shoulder to cry on.

Aaron stumbled over to his mom and Spike. He pulled on Dru's shirt to get her attention.

"Mommy. Mommy."

Dru backed away from Spike and looked at Aaron. She held her arms up and shook her head. "I can't…I can't deal with this." She said to Spike.

Spike understood what she was trying to say and he bent down to get at eyelevel with Aaron. "Hi Aaron. Do you remember me?"

Aaron shyly nodded his head and looked up at his mom.

"Mommy I'm hungry."

Spike looked at Dru and saw how exhausted she was. "Do you want me to…?"

Dru rubbed her temples and nodded her head. "Please."

Spike looked back at Aaron. "What are you hungry for? We can go anywhere you want."

Aaron hesitated at first but then bit his bottom lip and tilted his head to the side as if he were thinking about it.

"Mmm…IHop!" He said excitedly.

Spike looked back over at Dru and she approved. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a set of keys.

"Take my car." She said as she handed the keys to Spike. "He still needs to sit a carseat and I doubt you have one."

Spike smiled politely and accepted the keys. "Do you want me to bring you back anything?"

"No. I'll be sick if I eat."

Spike nodded his head and turned back to Aaron. "You ready?"

* * *

Spike took Aaron to IHop and they sat at the restaurant for almost an hour. He imagined this is how his life would be and he and Dru had stayed together. He would have been able to bring Aaron places. He discovered that Aaron is exceptionally observant for his age by the way he described what was going on with his mom and step dad.

However, he does seem to lose focus easily, he went from talking about the accident to a video game to a bike to Spiderman and so on. The kid never seemed to run out of things to say. Which was a good thing for Spike because Aaron seemed to be warming up to him.

Then, Spike started to wonder why Dru called him and not one of her friends. Did she contact them first and he was her last resort? He wanted to ask her but he wasn't sure if that would be inappropriate.

* * *

Spike and Aaron headed back to the hospital and joined Drusilla in the emergency waiting room. She wasn't alone anymore. Another woman in her mid-20's was by her side.

Aaron ran over to his mom and practically jumped on her lap.

"Hey baby!" Dru said before she planted a kiss on his forehead. "Did you have a good time? What'd you eat?"

The woman sitting with Dru stood up and walked over to Spike. He knew he had seen her before. She was at the wedding. One of Dru's friends. He couldn't remember Dru having contact with her after the wedding, though.

"Thank you for coming." The woman said softly to Spike.

"It wasn't a problem."

The woman looked at Dru and Aaron and smiled. "She was happy you could take him for a bit. She just needed some time alone."

Spike didn't say anything. He stood in silence and watched Aaron talk to his mom.

The woman looked at her watch and sighed. "Well, I gotta get back to work. It was nice seeing you again."

Spike barely acknowledged her as she walked away from him and walked back to Dru. They exchanged a hug and the woman left.

Spike took a seat next to Dru and she looked over at him. "Can you do me a favor?"

Spike nodded his head. "Anything."

"I don't want to burden you but Dennis is going to be in and out of surgeries all day and I don't want Aaron waiting here. I…"

Spike interrupted her before she could continue. "I'd be happy to take him."

Dru smiled and Spike noticed the dark circles underneath her eyes. She could barely keep her eyes open.

"Why don't you go home and get some rest?"

Dru shook her head. "Oh, I can't. I'm too worried."

* * *

Spike tried persuading her to at least try to take a nap but she refused. He spent a few hours with Aaron and they went to see a movie. Aaron was having a wonderful time and Spike couldn't have been happier. The kid was great.

Suddenly, Spike remembered today is Dawn's graduation. He looked at the time and noticed it was almost 2pm. He and Aaron went back to the hospital to check on Dru. They talked for a few minutes and amazingly, Spike somehow convinced her to get out of the hospital for a few hours and talked her into going to Dawn's graduation.

"I think I remember her." Dru said as she got into the car. "Buffy's little sister, right?"

Spike nodded his head. "Yep."

"How is Buffy doing these days? She's gotta be in her 20's now."

Spike shrugged. "I haven't seen her or heard from her since that night she came to the house."

"Is she…"

"Yes." Spike interrupted. "She's going to be at the graduation. At least that's what Dawn told me last night."

Dru tried to smile despite the current situation. "So this is going to be the first time you get to see her since she was just a kid."

Spike started the car and headed towards the school without saying anything.

"Are you excited?" Dru asked out of nowhere.

Spike turned to look at her. He was surprised by the question. "I don't know. I probably won't even see her. There's going to be a lot of people and she'll probably be too bust re-connecting with her old friends."

"You were one of those friends."

Spike shrugged. "She's probably forgotten about me by now."

Dru laughed, "Oh, I doubt that."

Spike wasn't sure what she meant by that comment but he didn't bother to ask. They were at the school and it was almost 3pm.

Dru helped Aaron out of the car and the boy stepped in between Dru and Spike. He grabbed both of their hands and Spike was surprised. He wasn't sure what to do. Dru smiled at him and they began walking towards the back of the school.

Spike found three empty seats and sat down. Dru leaned over to him and whispered in his ear. "She's sitting a few rows behind you."

Spike stiffened and he slowly turned his head to look back. He froze when he saw Buffy. She was staring straight at him. She looked different. Older. Prettier. She was all grown up. He felt a strange sensation in his stomach, like butterflies were flapping around inside of him. He hadn't felt that in years. How odd. He realized he was still staring at Buffy and she was still looking at him. Aaron tried getting Spike's attention by pulling on his shirt. Spike broke off the eye contact with Buffy and focused on Aaron.

A few minutes later, he looked back at Buffy but she wasn't there anymore. She was gone.

* * *

**How do you guys feel about me switching back and forth between Buffy's and Spike's point of view? Would you like me to keep doing that or do you prefer that I just keep it at Buffy's point of view? Either way workds for me. Please review! **


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